MSE Parent Club - Part 2

Millie's_Mum

I must be a terrible mum, millie was a c section formula fed baby and she was on sma gold! guess I'll be prison visiting in 15 years then!

Curious_George_2

Millie's_Mum wrote: »

I must be a terrible mum, millie was a c section formula fed baby and she was on sma gold! guess I'll be prison visiting in 15 years then!

well i will see you there then.... sort out what visiting hours you fancy and we can get the bus together

redmel1621

I don't want to drag out any debates, and I personally think that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I was really just trying to emphasise that 'IF' feelie decides to formula feed then that is fine:) and she is not going to be doing her baby any harm. As I have highlighted even BF babies can have 'problems'

I remember now moving ds1 onto Aptamil (although it was just called Milupa 8yrs ago) and that was through the advise of my HV...I just wished I had got that one for ds2, it may be the root of him being such a whingy unsettled baby..I feel really bad now!!

Mel x

Lu_T

Hi girls

Feelie - just want to say that you shouldn't feel guilty about whatever you choose and I know it's not anyone's intention to make you feel that way. If you really want to persevere there's loads of help out there for you so take advantage of it. If it gets too much then you are NOT a failure.

I felt awful and cried for weeks when I gave up feeding Imogen, but my mental welfare was also important. (BTW - a teacher friend said she would happily take her into her Year 1 class where they normally go aged 5. She's 2, so no harm has been done on the intellectual front). I hope things get easier for you soon. :grouphug:

Feeling better this morning despite a disturbed night with Imogen up at 4.20am :eek: for about an hour. No idea why but having spoken with DH last night he was first out of bed and put her back in her room - normally I get up first, so am pleased he made the effort.

Neither of us got much sleep until he got up at 6.30am but I did manage to get back off and she slept in until 8am! Only problem is it then took me an hour to get her dressed. Any tips? She just point blank refuses. I've tried counting (which normally works), saying we can't go where we're meant to if she doesn't get dressed (met with "I don't want to go") and this morning I just closed the baby gate on her bedroom door and left her to it. I told her to let me know when she was ready to get dressed. After being up and down about 6 times she did eventually give in, but it was grudgingly and only after a force 10 tantrum.

I hate to think what the neighbours think is going on. She sounds like she's being beaten the way she screams. We had proper lie-on-the-floor kicking this am too!

I've tried giving her choices about what to wear so she feels she has some control - she chose every item this morning - but whether or not to get dressed is not something she can have a choice over. We ended up being late for her playgroup so I made her apologise to the lady when we arrived. To be fair to her, she did say, "Sorry I'm late," very nicely and we'll not dwell on it for the rest of the day. I'm just out of ideas. I did at least feel like I could cope a bit better this am after some proper sleep, but I really need to win this battle before baby arrives or we'll all just be going everywhere in our PJs - slummy mummy indeed!

ella_ella_ella

Im quite happy to talk about it but the responces, quotes, articles......will only serve to make the new mums who are struggling or feeling bad, feel worse and I certainly dont want that to happen.

Curious George, I have been hung, drawn, quarted and battered by the breast is best brigade but I still wouldnt BF my babies. My baby, My choice.

Sami_Bee

Lu - are you sure she's not 12? I can't really help on that as although Chris strips off at least 5 times a day :rolleyes: he's usually not that hard to re-dress although I do have to sit on him sometimes :rotfl:

redmel1621

Lu T - how about both picking the clothes out together the night before and laying them out ready for her to put on in the morning, with the agreement that as she has picked them out she must get dressed quickly and that whatever she has picked can't be changed the next day...by either of you!
This is actually a suggestion I saw on another thread a while ago...it seems a lot of girls go through this clothes war stage at a certain age...

My boys couldn't care less what they wear or who picks it:)

ETA - Oh just a thought but maybe getting her to get dressed before even being allowed down for breakfast, being hungry may get her to get a move on??

emlou2009

feelinggood wrote: »

I feel awful about breastfeeding.

DONT, honestly, as long as your little one is getting fed it really doesnt matter where it comes from, you're feeling fragile at the moment with so many hormones coursing round your body you dont know what to do with yourself and beating yourself up about having problems with BF isnt going to help you at all xx

keelykat wrote: »

Once again I feel crap over the whole not breast feeding thing.... i think i may just avoid forums altogether soon as on another site also theyve been arguing over the pros and cons and some people have gotten quite nasty on there, thankfully no one is like that here.

keely.

it makes me angry that people feel they can talk down about others choices, some mums try and dont get on, some simply dont want to and some thrive, but nobody should feel bad about the choices they have made to do the best for their own child.

redmel1621 wrote: »

Feeli - the most important thing is to do what it takes to get your baby fed. And remember YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE if you decide to go down the formula route.....However you and your baby will suffer immensely if you stress yourself out about it all and end up in a deep depression. Have you tried looking around the internet for some tips and advice, about positions etc that may help you??

I personally feel that mothers should be FULLY supported whatever route they decide to take, it is this talk of formula being junk that makes mothers feel they are letting their babies down if that is what they decide to give which is especially harmful to mothers who may have self-confidence issues already.

not really got anything to add to this but i agree completely.

Curious_George wrote: »

it is hammered into us from the start about breastmilk being the right way to do things, but what about natural childbirth... surely thats the "right" way to do it... but some of us needed extra help, some of us had to have a c section, not the natural way... but we ended up with healthy happy babies at the end of it and im sorry if anyone disagrees but i think thats the most important thing.

That article that krystal linked to had a bit where it said the gut of a newborn is disturbed for 6 months if its delivered by c section... so according to that source i suppose by danny being breech and needing to come out of the sunroof and then going onto formula at just over a week old ive ruined him for good,
i shall expect him to underachieve at school and end up in a young offenders institute then :rolleyes:

i'll send seth to join your danny in the clink then, i had pethidine and i mixed fed from birth and then bottle fed from 3 weeks lol :rotfl::rotfl:


i couldnt get on with BF myself, everytime i put seth to latch on he screamed and screamed, my nipples were sore, midwives told me the positioning was fine and just to persevere, and he wanted feeding every hour to every hour and a half so i was exhausted. consequently everytime it was time for a feed i would end up in tears and it made me feel i couldnt cope as a mum and i cried everytime i thought of being left on my own when OH went to work! if i'd carried on BF i would have ended up with PND, instead i went onto bottle and now i am a relaxed mum, i enjoy my baby which i honestly didnt at all before, in fact i dreaded even holding him as he would nuzzle for the breast and cry if he didnt get it! i dont feel bad at all cos i know it was the right thing to do, and i definitely dont regard it as feeding my baby junkfood!

redmel1621

So it is first day back at school for the boys, I was dreading it yesterday, wondering if I was going to manage to get us all ready in time....after having two weeks off from doing it.
Kai has been getting up in the mornings at between 6am and 7am, and today he woke at 6.30am which is actually pretty perfect as I have time to feed and dress him before the alarm goes off at 7.15am and the older two come down. So everything went extremely smoothly:D He is actually going about 10hrs overnight with no food...it seems a little early for him to be going that long (although I am not going to complain).

It has been about 2 1/2 hours since he had his last bottle and he is snoozing away comfortably:) I can't believe how noticable and how quick the change in him has been since changing to Aptamil......I also started with tummy time last week and he loves it:) he will quite happily lie there for up to 15mins, he alternates lifting his head with sticking his bum in the air...

Mel x

Mel x

emlou2009

mel, 10 hours? i'm so jealous, we only get 4 at a time if we're lucky...