MSE Parent Club - Part 2

feelinggood_2

I feel awful about breastfeeding.

I gave in last night, after struggling with both a spoon and a cup, I gave him EBM in a bottle. Any ideas if I'll ever be able to properly breastfeed now I've done that? I'm struggling emotionally, and the difficulty latching on was just too much for both of us.

I'm going to go and get an electric pump today, the manual one is a bit hard work when I'm doing it every 2 hours.

Breastfeeding was so important to me, I really thought I'd be able to overcome any obstacles.

Aslong as I keep giving him expressed breastmilk, it'll be okay won't it?

I just don't understand how/why we can't get the latching on correct. I looked in my notes, and I had BF help from at least 6 different midwifes in the hospital, 3 since coming home, and I had my Mum (NCT Breastfeeding counsellor for many years!) here for the first 4 days.

I didn't realise all this was so hard, and I'm so grateful to you ladies for being so open about everything. I don't feel so alone.

I hope I've never judged anyone harshly about bottle feeding, I can understand it so much more now. Like with pregnancy, before it happens it really is hard to comphrend how big a thing it is. I've never thought badly of anyone for bottle/formula feeding, so why do I beat myself up!

keelykat

feelinggood wrote: »

I feel awful about breastfeeding.

I gave in last night, after struggling with both a spoon and a cup, I gave him EBM in a bottle. Any ideas if I'll ever be able to properly breastfeed now I've done that? I'm struggling emotionally, and the difficulty latching on was just too much for both of us.

I'm going to go and get an electric pump today, the manual one is a bit hard work when I'm doing it every 2 hours.

Breastfeeding was so important to me, I really thought I'd be able to overcome any obstacles.

Aslong as I keep giving him expressed breastmilk, it'll be okay won't it?

I just don't understand how/why we can't get the latching on correct. I looked in my notes, and I had BF help from at least 6 different midwifes in the hospital, 3 since coming home, and I had my Mum (NCT Breastfeeding counsellor for many years!) here for the first 4 days.

I didn't realise all this was so hard, and I'm so grateful to you ladies for being so open about everything. I don't feel so alone.

I hope I've never judged anyone harshly about bottle feeding, I can understand it so much more now. Like with pregnancy, before it happens it really is hard to comphrend how big a thing it is. I've never thought badly of anyone for bottle/formula feeding, so why do I beat myself up!

I wish I could help, but we had major problems-I tried using pumps etc then ended up switching to formula and bottles. I hope you can work through it, it honestly still is a sore subject with me as i really did badly wanted to do it but failed.

keely.

nadnad

Oh Feeli try not to be hard on yourself. Latching on takes time and patience and the more you get annoyed the harder it will be. Does baby lie completely horizontally across you when feeding? have you used a cushion to set him on? Its still very early days - what is he now 6 weeks? i thikn it took me at least that long to be comfortable and confident about it. You're doing the best thing in the world for your baby but at the end of the day it has to be good for you too. Baby wont thank you if you're strung out worrying!

Oz never took a bottle, which was a pity because i could express quite a lot (ended up donating it to a milk bank!). It meant i didnt get a break from him til about 6 months old!

Giving your baby a bottle of formula milk (or breast milk) shouldnt confuse him at that age (i wouldnt think anyway) and maybe if you know you've got a back up it wont put so much pressure on you and the latching will come more easily then?! i'm just putting some thoughts down here - a bit rambly sorry.

I know Krystal will never condone Formula feeding, but sometimes i think it has to be done esp if the mum is getting stressed about breast feeding.

Sorry baby is crying (should be sleeping!) so im distracted and not giving very good advice! Hope someone will come along with clearer thoughts!

Sami_Bee

Feelie - giving him a bottle is not the end of BFing but may make it even harder for you I found that it was the start of the end for me but really don't beat yourself up about it.
It was about this stage when I like you had had support from every MW in the hosp/ visiting gang and still couldn't get him to latch on and gave him a bottle, I started off with EBM and formula as couldn't express enough to totally do EBM and my milk eventually stopped coming out after a week or so.
The way I see it is Chris got my colostrum and some of my milk and that is better than non at all but most of all he got a Mummy that could give him her full attention again.
I was so stressed over trying to feed and spending ages everyday expressing and crying my eyes out most of the rest of the time - I had started to really not like this little boy.
You would never know he wasn't breast fed past 2 weeks old to look at him or to hear his fantastic speech now
He has even been ill less than quite a few BFed babies I know, so although Breast milk is fantastic stuff and gives immunity its far from the end of the world if they become FFed babies xxxx

PS Krystal is out n about this morning so not sure when she'll be able to provide any help if u want it from her but you could try some of the sites she usually recommends like kellymom and the breastfeeding network

lwcus78

Took us a long while to get the hang of breastfeeding also but it just gradually got easier. I had poor latch to start with and my nipples were cracked and bleeding. I think the 1st 3 weeks were worst as baby kept screaming and I was convinced he was hungry and I was sore....My friend who had bf came down to help us. I was sitting up in bed half naked and she was man handling my boobs!! Quite funny when I look back at it now but at the time I was very stressed and tearful.

Caz-your baby sounds exactly like mine was, for ages would just feed constantly in the evenings and wake up/scream as soon as I took him off the boob. Sorry to say that phase went on for quite a while before he settled down. Cant remember for how long exactly but a good few weeks. I was paranoid I didn't have enough milk for him, the only thing that kept me going was the fact that his weight gain was good.

Sami and Lu-I'm getting less support from my DH (his mum is ill so he is excused) at the moment also and finding things a struggle and I'm not preggers.

Feeling-also remember feeling crap and crying a lot for the first few weeks. Things will get better. Hugs xxx

Hope everyone else ok

xx

Sami_Bee

Ladies I think there has been a bit of getting wires crossed
MFD's LO is feeding well but she is finding it hard to express enough for the odd bottle (which Benjamin is taking happily and going back to BFing fine) for when Daddy wants to help out / when Mummy n Daddy want to go out as a couple and let Grandma look after bubba.

Feelie is the one struggling to get her newborn to latch and has given 1 bottle of EBM

Both are lovely ladies and I hope both work it out

nadnad

feelinggood wrote: »

I I've never thought badly of anyone for bottle/formula feeding, so why do I beat myself up!

i was exactly the same - i didnt care about anyone who bottle fed it never bothered me. but I wasnt going to do it and i was hard on myself and made myself perservere. I dont know why but thats just the way it was. I found it hard in the beginning, though i dont think i had the same problems as you, it was the sheer amount of feeding - every 2 hrs day and night sometimes every hour that got me down. But here i am nearly 11 months later and still feeding the wee monster :rolleyes:.

Have you used breast shells when you are feeding because they can collect quite a lot of milk (if you dont have the energy to pump at the same time as feeding).

nadnad

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Ladies I think there has been a bit of getting wires crossed
MFD's LO is feeding well but she is finding it hard to express enough for the odd bottle (which Benjamin is taking happily and going back to BFing fine) for when Daddy wants to help out / when Mummy n Daddy want to go out as a couple and let Grandma look after bubba.

Feelie is the one struggling to get her newborn to latch and has given 1 bottle of EBM

Both are lovely ladies and I hope both work it out

oops sorry think i got confused there! thats what i get for trying to concentrate when baby is crying .

ella_ella_ella

Its such a lovely day I think I will take Natasha to a small animal farm.

Had a really good weekend and got loads done, even managed to sort out the playroom and put all her outside toys, like her sandpit and trampoline outside, where they should be, although the house is covered in sand now she has played with it with sand in it!

redmel1621

Feeli - the most important thing is to do what it takes to get your baby fed. And remember YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE if you decide to go down the formula route.....However you and your baby will suffer immensely if you stress yourself out about it all and end up in a deep depression. Have you tried looking around the internet for some tips and advice, about positions etc that may help you??

I personally feel that mothers should be FULLY supported whatever route they decide to take, it is this talk of formula being junk that makes mothers feel they are letting their babies down if that is what they decide to give which is especially harmful to mothers who may have self-confidence issues already.

BTW I do take care over what my children eat...but surely feeding them well for the next 20yrs of their life is just as (if not more than) important as what they eat for the first year of their life...My older boys have no allergies/skin conditions, they are rarely ill, they are very active and my eldest is very intelligent and works to a level 2-3yrs above his age. A friend of mine breast fed all four of her kids, they are obese(yes, medically obese), have various conditions like asthma, eczema, and hayfever...the youngest is always ill too, and I mean always!! She shoves them in front of a dvd with bottle of fizzy drinks and big bags of crisps and jelly babies etc, they never have fruit in the house and none of them will eat veg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my opinion I have given my children the best opportunity for life long health, despite not breastfeeding!!!

Mel x