MSE Parent Club - Part 2

notenoughcash

Hello everyone, I need a spot of parenting advice and I've had so much help with other things on here that I thought it would be a great place to come.

I am a single mum to two great boys but just lately I'm having some trouble with my eldest who is 10. I try my very best with them and have brought them up to be polite and well mannered and most of the time we get along as fine as any other family. I have had comments when in restaurants and other public places about how well behaved they are. If I try to talk to friends about this they say I am being silly and that I should be grateful that I have two such great kids instead of getting on at them, and I've just had a right ear-bashing on the phone from my mum (great support, thanks!) But things are always different when you spend every day with someone.

The problem is that he has begun being really selfish about some out of school activities he has started such as youth club, dance club, football etc. He got a mobile phone for his birthday to allow him a little more growing up space and some freedom but this comes with very strict rules. He is supposed to phone me when he is ready to leave these places so that I can meet him at the corner, then he isn't walking anywhere that he can't be seen but feels he's 'cool' enough to have a little freedom. However he has started pushing these rules to the limit, to the point where he walked all the way home on his own last week and got himself grounded. It isn't that far and he doesn't have to cross any roads but it is dark and I don't think he should be doing that just yet. He also thinks that he should be allowed to do things at a moment's notice and expects me to just drop everything to suit him.

There isn't one major thing in particular that he's done, more like a drip-feed of little things that's really starting to get me down. I'm sick of being on his back all the time, and he must be just as sick of hearing me, plus the youngest (5) is getting pushed out of the way all the time for me to sort out his mess. I don't know what to try next and I hope someone on here can help me. It's about time we all started getting on and having fun again!

Sami_Bee

OMG the preg club seems to have disappeared i hope it comes back!

notenoughcash
I have no personal exp of this age as mine is only little but he sounds like a typical 10yr old these days ie. a teenager before his time :rolleyes:
all I can say is I agree that primary age children shouldn't be walking home alone esp when its dark, I'm sure one of the mum with older ones will be along soon to give some decent advice tho

Gem_

Originally Posted by nadnad
just a MIL rant.
MIL: does Oz want a choccie biccy?
ME: no, i'm not allowing him biscuits until he's much older esp not choc ones (she first offered him one when he was 3 months!)
MIL: does he want a rusk?
ME: No thanks they're full of sugar
MIL: but they're for babies
Me: I know but still he doesnt need one
MIL: Does he want a rich tea?
ME: No really its fine he's not long after his lunch
MIL: You still feeding him yourself (dissapproving)
ME: Yes
MIL: Would he take some tea in his cup?
ME: Err no ta, i dont hink caffeine is advisable for an 8 month old
MIL: Some juice? or fizz?
ME: no he only gets water or milk, he doesnt need anything else.
MIL: But he might be thirsty
ME: Maybe but then he can have water or milk
MIL: But it would be a wee change for him
ME: He's only 8 months i dont think he needs a wee change yet, and we dont drink fizz and he's DEF not getting any - bad for his teeth.

This sounds EXACTLY like my Gran. She offered me a twirl bar last time I visited (after critising my eating habits ) Then when I refused threw a strop and said "I never eat anything she makes for me!"

janey_uk

Becles wrote: »

Have you got a digital camera? You can make your own flashcards by taking pictures of things they know, like their cup, the dog, their teddy etc., and laminate those. I found my boys seemed to relate better to pictures of their own things, rather than just random pictures in a book.

What a lovely idea!! In my supermum day dream I might get round to it! Sriously, given so many of us Mums are miles from the g-parents it is a good idea with the pics too.

The P&T is due for delivery tomorrow - I'm silly exited!!

tsstss7

Gem_ wrote: »

Originally Posted by nadnad
just a MIL rant.
MIL: does Oz want a choccie biccy?
ME: no, i'm not allowing him biscuits until he's much older esp not choc ones (she first offered him one when he was 3 months!)
MIL: does he want a rusk?
ME: No thanks they're full of sugar
MIL: but they're for babies
Me: I know but still he doesnt need one
MIL: Does he want a rich tea?
ME: No really its fine he's not long after his lunch
MIL: You still feeding him yourself (dissapproving)
ME: Yes
MIL: Would he take some tea in his cup?
ME: Err no ta, i dont hink caffeine is advisable for an 8 month old
MIL: Some juice? or fizz?
ME: no he only gets water or milk, he doesnt need anything else.
MIL: But he might be thirsty
ME: Maybe but then he can have water or milk
MIL: But it would be a wee change for him
ME: He's only 8 months i dont think he needs a wee change yet, and we dont drink fizz and he's DEF not getting any - bad for his teeth.

This sounds EXACTLY like my Gran. She offered me a twirl bar last time I visited (after critising my eating habits ) Then when I refused threw a strop and said "I never eat anything she makes for me!"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Gem_

tsstss7 wrote: »

This will make you ladies laugh...my mum has mastitis ..seems she's been lactating in sympathy with me how funny is that :rotfl: she thought she had breast cancer and I told her it was mastitis a week ago but she didn't believe me. My diagnosis was confirmed by the hospital today..apparantly the dr found it very funny too.

That is fantastic :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Becles

notenoughcash wrote: »

Hello everyone, I need a spot of parenting advice and I've had so much help with other things on here that I thought it would be a great place to come.

I am a single mum to two great boys but just lately I'm having some trouble with my eldest who is 10. I try my very best with them and have brought them up to be polite and well mannered and most of the time we get along as fine as any other family. I have had comments when in restaurants and other public places about how well behaved they are. If I try to talk to friends about this they say I am being silly and that I should be grateful that I have two such great kids instead of getting on at them, and I've just had a right ear-bashing on the phone from my mum (great support, thanks!) But things are always different when you spend every day with someone.

The problem is that he has begun being really selfish about some out of school activities he has started such as youth club, dance club, football etc. He got a mobile phone for his birthday to allow him a little more growing up space and some freedom but this comes with very strict rules. He is supposed to phone me when he is ready to leave these places so that I can meet him at the corner, then he isn't walking anywhere that he can't be seen but feels he's 'cool' enough to have a little freedom. However he has started pushing these rules to the limit, to the point where he walked all the way home on his own last week and got himself grounded. It isn't that far and he doesn't have to cross any roads but it is dark and I don't think he should be doing that just yet. He also thinks that he should be allowed to do things at a moment's notice and expects me to just drop everything to suit him.

There isn't one major thing in particular that he's done, more like a drip-feed of little things that's really starting to get me down. I'm sick of being on his back all the time, and he must be just as sick of hearing me, plus the youngest (5) is getting pushed out of the way all the time for me to sort out his mess. I don't know what to try next and I hope someone on here can help me. It's about time we all started getting on and having fun again!

Sorry but that sounds pretty normal

My eldest is 12 and just started secondary school last term. He thinks he's old enough to travel into nearby city centres and shopping centres to "just hang" with mates. He says I'm cruel for not letting him go :rolleyes:

One irritating thing he does is ringing me from the school bus and when I pick up he says "reeet ma s'meee" as that must be how cool people speak on the phone :rolleyes:

I'm sure it's just a teenage hormone phase and they'll end up to be lovely young men when we get to the end of it.

purplepatch

Becles wrote: »

One irritating thing he does is ringing me from the school bus and when I pick up he says "reeet ma s'meee" as that must be how cool people speak on the phone :rolleyes:

Sorry Becles, shouldn't really, but that made me :rotfl:;)

tsstss7

notenoughcash wrote: »

Hello everyone, I need a spot of parenting advice and I've had so much help with other things on here that I thought it would be a great place to come.

I am a single mum to two great boys but just lately I'm having some trouble with my eldest who is 10. I try my very best with them and have brought them up to be polite and well mannered and most of the time we get along as fine as any other family. I have had comments when in restaurants and other public places about how well behaved they are. If I try to talk to friends about this they say I am being silly and that I should be grateful that I have two such great kids instead of getting on at them, and I've just had a right ear-bashing on the phone from my mum (great support, thanks!) But things are always different when you spend every day with someone.

The problem is that he has begun being really selfish about some out of school activities he has started such as youth club, dance club, football etc. He got a mobile phone for his birthday to allow him a little more growing up space and some freedom but this comes with very strict rules. He is supposed to phone me when he is ready to leave these places so that I can meet him at the corner, then he isn't walking anywhere that he can't be seen but feels he's 'cool' enough to have a little freedom. However he has started pushing these rules to the limit, to the point where he walked all the way home on his own last week and got himself grounded. It isn't that far and he doesn't have to cross any roads but it is dark and I don't think he should be doing that just yet. He also thinks that he should be allowed to do things at a moment's notice and expects me to just drop everything to suit him.

There isn't one major thing in particular that he's done, more like a drip-feed of little things that's really starting to get me down. I'm sick of being on his back all the time, and he must be just as sick of hearing me, plus the youngest (5) is getting pushed out of the way all the time for me to sort out his mess. I don't know what to try next and I hope someone on here can help me. It's about time we all started getting on and having fun again!

My biggest is 11 and started going through this need for independance stage at around the same age as your son although I must admit I put the accompanying rudeness down to my having just replaced him as the "only child" by having had my youngest just before his 10th birthday.

I think they just go through a bit of a trying stage at this age - that and they start thinking about girls, clothes and hair...yes it gets worse!

Things have settled down here a bit with my ds1 though - his dad has stepped in to pay him a bit more attention which takes the pressure off a bit and I am conducting gradual degrees towards more freedom which involve leaving him up the road a bit in the morning before school....I'd be mad at him if he did what your son did though as it seems he is pushing you to the limit...but come to think of it I had similar issues last summer with new friends made round the corner and my ds1 thinking he could go off for hours at a time when I thought he was at his mates next door. I solved that one with newer and stricter rules particularly about when he could go out but I also searched for a few ways I could happily give him more freedom so that he didn't feel I was a dictator mummy.

MaximumImpact

hey guys..I'm after a bit of advice if possible...I have a 4 month old boy who was born 2 months premature..He is still very tiny (11lbs) but his appetite isnt. At the moment he is taking 6 to 7 bottles a day of 6 ozs plus a breastfeed in the morning and during the night. I also give him a bowl of baby rice at lunchtime......

He still seems hungry and is chewing his tongue and his hands an awful lot. I tried to broach the subject of weaning with my HV who put me in my place with her normal style and told me that it would be at least another 3 months before he needed any rice or cereal.....

I'm gutted enough that I just couldnt keep up with the BF and I was gettin so tired that I was getting angry with him, so decided to start on formula (weak, I know).....would have liked some support from the HV but that isn't ever going to happen (superior mug cow that she is) so I thought i'd turn to some other mothers and ask what you all think????

DS gets hysterical now when he is hungry and never seems satisfied..should I go against the HV and with my own instincts that he needs more than just milk or what should I do?????