My sons rent

lightisfading

Depends on how good he is with his money. My brother only recently left home at the age of 28. Mum charged him next to nothing (just costs) for rent, and as such he got used to being able to buy whatever he wanted.. a nice new Wii the day it came out, clothes etc. He wasn't 'rich' by any means as he was on a low wage but by not taking much my mum never forced him to live within his means... so he 'couldnt afford' to move out because he was used to 75% of his income being his for luxury purchases. If he's anything like my brother (who I love to bits, I might add :P) you might never get rid of him if you only charge him a tiny amount.

Idiophreak

Timmne wrote: »

Because your parents deserve more respect than you valuing their service at £200 just because it doesn't cost them anything! People don't expect to be mothering their kids at 25 !!!!!!...

So by giving people your money, you show them you resepect them, is that your idea?

Personally, I prefer to show my parents respect throughout the day, thank them for things they do for me, that kinda thing...but if you'd prefer to just give them a couple of hundred quid then treat them like a doormat, I guess you could try that...

As to "mothering"...I'm just not sure what you expect the 24 year old to do to demand so much time from their parents...? Are you one of these extended breastfeeding familes?

As it stands, my parents cook for me - cooking for three people *very rarely* takes any longer than cooking for 2. Probably takes them 1 minute per day, average, to load/unload my stuff from the dishwasher. My mum probably does an hour of ironing for me per week...By my math, above, I make that around £30/hour I'm paying my parents for their time...Which, frankly, is much more than I earn...

Badger_Lady

Timmne wrote: »

And Badger Lady - yours should be more than that - from your exciting episodes not long ago, I'd have paid to stay at yours just to watch!

Hey, if you're interested!
http://www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=475092&city_id=&flatshare_type=offered&search_results=%2Fflatshare%2F%3Fsearch_id%3D4148080%26&&rand=149531221665714

Timmne

You sound just as arrogant as my brother - it's sickening!

I would pay my way and promise to not stay under their feet for too long. There's no way I'd have ever told my mum that "cooking for three people *very rarely* takes any longer than cooking for 2" - she'd have gone mad. As would working out her hourly rate for ironing, whatever the result. I wouldn't even pay my mum to do it now!

What your parents are doing is cushioning you from the real world. As you're still living with your parents you won't get what I mean but you'll look back to how you're living now in a few years and feel really guilty for taking your parents and their hard work for granted.

Timmne

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Hey, if you're interested!
http://www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=475092&city_id=&flatshare_type=offered&search_results=%2Fflatshare%2F%3Fsearch_id%3D4148080%26&&rand=149531221665714

Oh no! Was this BF1 or Lodger 3? :rotfl:

Cinny91

My brother is 23 and pays £160 a month, which includes all bills, food ect. Me and my sister pay £10 a week for the same (I'm 17 and she's 20) but we're both earning considerably less then my brother(and we all know how lucky we are!! We aren't blind to the ''real world''), but with this we all pitch in with the house work, if we want extra food we buy it ourselves and we all have our little things we do, I bake mass amounts, my sister does all the ironing and my brother washes the cars. So even though we pay little we work for our keep.

You could always ask for so much a week to cover basic food, then you can get these thing-a-majigs for plug sockets where it does a rough estimate of how much electric you're using. Put one on each socket in his room and ask for the combined amount each week? At 24 I wouldn't expect my mum to do my washing for me, and you could always ask him to do what me, my brother and sister do by buying our own snacks and bits!

Badger_Lady

Timmne wrote: »

Oh no! Was this BF1 or Lodger 3? :rotfl:

BF1 got dumped - back to singledom and back to sharing with men I don't have to sleep with. Already got some very interesting interested parties.

Sorry to hijack the thread - back to OP's son!

Idiophreak

Timmne wrote: »

I would pay my way and promise to not stay under their feet for too long. There's no way I'd have ever told my mum that "cooking for three people *very rarely* takes any longer than cooking for 2" - she'd have gone mad. As would working out her hourly rate for ironing, whatever the result. I wouldn't even pay my mum to do it now!

Hey, it's you that was wanting to put a price on their labour, not me.

Timmne wrote: »

What your parents are doing is cushioning you from the real world. As you're still living with your parents you won't get what I mean but you'll look back to how you're living now in a few years and feel really guilty for taking your parents and their hard work for granted.

I don't recall saying I was "still" living with my parents? I live with them, sure, but I've lived elsewhere in the past, so I am quite aware of the cost of things in the "big bad world (boo hoo)" tvm.

And I *don't* take my parents for granted in the slightest. I'm extremely grateful for all that they do for me...I just refuse to pay them off for doing it. Perhaps it's your attitude to money that means you'd get under your parents' feet and drive them "mad" in the first place. Maybe if you put more stock in paying respect rather than paying cash, you'd all get on a lot better...Which is probably what it comes down to - my parents enjoy spending time with me and vice versa...Your parents clearly find you a "burden"...and it's becoming clear why

grastgirl

I have lived with both my parents (separately) as an adult.

The rule in my father's house was always you paid a third of whatever you take home when working full time (Saturday jobs weren't included), it wouldn't matter whether you were on £500pm or £2000pm (or that's what he said). He had the philosophy that his job as a father was to make sure I didn't need him anymore when I became an adult (but still want him obviously), and he thought part of that was to take a realistic proportion of my salary as board, with the theory that I would pay that out in rent and bills if I wasn't living there. Even at 18 I was certainly expected to do my share of the washing, washing up, ironing and cooking, again because I needed to do these in the real world.

In my mother's house the opposite was true, she wanted nothing until I'd paid off my debts, but once I was out of my overdraft (about 2 months) I paid her for the time I'd been living for free. She wanted to charge me £20pm, but I insisted on £40 because she needed the money, but it wasn't as much as I thought it should have been. Although we didn't really have any trouble living together again (she's always been quite liberal about boyfriends and stuff) I was planning to move out by my 25th birthday whatever it took because I valued my independence.

It may sound harsh, but coming home as an adult shouldn't necessarily be the easy option. If you feel guilty about charging more, then do as others have suggested, make sure you have covered the additional bills and then save the rest for him, so he has a bit of a nestegg when he leaves.

By the way I'm 28 and wouldn't dream of living with my parents now unless the **** really hit the fan.

Pssst

Listen up...hes a big boy now. Why did he leave home in the first place? Because he wanted his independence and own space. That bit hasnt changed. If he moves back home it will be a nightmare for all concerned. Hes wining about costs NOW so what will it be like when hes home ?

Take my very good advice and its free...Tell him that he needs to maintain his independence and as much as you love him,he should find somewhere cheaper to live if that is the issue. Perhaps he should consider a house/flat share?

Are there any other issues that have so far not been disclosed?

Dont Do It ..!!!