Simplifying Life - Mark II

Justamum

Charis wrote: »

No, I missed that. I was absorbed by Pancks' sniff. :rotfl:

Quite stomach-churning really.

ceridwen

Well - I was supposed to be sleeping - but I was lying thinking about how I define simplicity.

So - to pose a question "how do other people define simplicity?". Is simplicity just about possessions? Is simplifying one's life just about how many possessions one has and how many of them one would define as "clutter" to be got rid of strictly?

Possessions-wise - errr.....as we know...I DO have just a few books (okay - a downright comprehensive personal reference library). It's probably not that usual for someone to have loads of books - but not one single fiction book amongst them. I do have a few ornaments round the house - but not one single picture anywhere on my walls - they are uniformly plain (not a deliberate decison - I just haven't found a picture I like enough to keep it for any length of time). I dress pretty simply - but I'm not exactly short of clothes:embarasse

So - what do I personally mean by simplicity? Well - it encompasses the whole of life in my book. Someone once said to me "You only ever do something for a reason" I said nothing - but I guess I was thinking "Errr....doesn't everyone? " Maybe not then...so I was pondering this and thinking "quite possibly it is the case that everything I do is for a reason - or, on the other hand, because I particularly WANT to"....I guess the thought just basically doesn't seem to cross my mind whenever I decide about what I am going to do on the one hand or what I think about something or someone to think "What are other people en masse doing/thinking?". I just head straight into George Fox territory (the founder of the Quakers - a church I used to be in) - "What dost thou think?". To me - one takes into account the thoughts, etc of individual people - but certainly not society as a whole (society as a whole so often gets things totally wrong - wars, slavery, etc..........etc.....). I don't see the point of doing something/thinking something just because "everyone else does" - I hate societal pressure that gets applied to automatically do what "everyone else does" and, looking around, I can see that that pressure is EXTREMELY strong sometimes and can be insidious (long since lost count of how many times I have asked myself "Is that REALLY how I myself think? and found the answer was no") - but one needs to learn how to "turn that off" (ie let it ride straight over your head).

So - the position I have come to now (may not be fixed in stone - who knows?) is:
I don't have:
- a car (I see no reason to)
- a t.v. (don't want to)
- husband/partner (I never met a man that fulfilled the whole "Do I love him?/Does he love me?/Are we compatible?" scenario - if I had I would have married him)
- children (I believe one has them only if one actively "wants" them - I didnt "want" them)
- dishwasher
-microwave
- second jobs (I don't need the money anymore)
- social activities for the sake of them (I do go to quite a few things - but I run them past the "Is there a reason to and/or do I want to?" filter before deciding whether to go).
- eating meat
- smoking


Hmmmmmm......3 o'clock in the morning thoughts......

What does everyone else think? What is your definition of what simplicity is about?

EDIT; thinks.....well I do have precisely one fiction book "Ecotopia" - the title says it all.....a vision of how society could be written in fiction form.

sarahs999

It's funny, having read through the first tranche of this thread quite recently all in one go, I was struck by how many different forms of simplicity people were seeking. For me it's about making myself feel calmer. When I go into a room and there are only beautiful or useful things there, I feel calm and happy. When I manage to buy/make presents that are what the recipient wants AND I haven't broken the bank, I feel fulfilled. When my weekends are spent just with my family, not rushing around, not going to shopping centres, but in parks and playgrounds and maybe every now and again, a nice restaurant, I feel like I'm living life as it should be. Over the past few years I've become ever more alert to how this society only works when we spend spend spend, and it makes me sad. It's made me realise that's what the paucity of spirit is about in modern britain. I'd always joked about the twin towers of Ikea Croydon being like a cathedral, but I'd never really followed that through to its logical conclusion, that people are trying to find salvation through objects rather than something of a higher nature. I'm not a religious person despite being brought up in church schools, but I do feel very strongly that something more spiritual should be filling our lives, than credit cards and Bluewater. FInding that path is about simplicity, to me, too.

lilac_lady

Simplicity for me means peace of mind. No mortgage now, no debt, no compulsion to buy what I don't really want. Being able to help my family cope in today's financial meltdown is my new goal. My treats are travelling a bit and lunching with friends. I always have food for guests and like being able to change my plans at will. No boss, no "have to" scenarios now for me. When I don't want to go somewhere and I'm pressed I can now say "I don't want to ". After a lifetime of doing what other people thought I should be doing, I can honestly say I love my retirement. Free time, a good library and enough to live on - what more do I want? Better health would be an absolute bonus but I'm still grateful for what I have in life. Contentment is the key to a better life.

sarahs999

Well put lilac lady. I'm so inspired by you being debt and mortgage free.... and enjoying life. I hope I can get there in the end.

mary43

Siimplicity for me (in an ideal world) would be
Enough money not to have to worry about the increasing bills
Have the things I love around me -okay so they gather dust but does it really matter ?
I don't drive (though OH does) - never have so I don't miss what I never had
I love my cats - they may shed hair and be a bit messy now and then but does that matter ?
I'm a very messy and untidy person - wish I wasn't but I always have been and I suppose thats part of what makes me who I am.
And to be honest, I've come to the conclusion that if people don't like my house with its dust, me with my 'un-chic' wardrobe and several bad hair days and all that goes with me, well its their loss/problem.
I've come to the conclusion that simplying is a state of mind.......sort of learning to live with oneself and accept who you are.
Does that make sense ? Well, it does to me.
Of course life would be simpler if there were less objects to clean, no cats to sweep up/mop up after but would it change me and how I view life ? I don't think somehow it would.
I shall have a bit of a purge to de-clutter once the christmas stuff is out of the way simply because I feel I need to and at the moment I do feel christmas is sort of crowding in on me. My own fault for not organising myself better but then, thats me.............some things we can't change but can modify a bit maybe.

ceridwen

There's probably as many definitions of "simplicity" as there are people.

I guess there is common threads in this - one obvious one is whether something is a need or a want. We are - very much - conditioned in this society to pander to our every want and differentiating between the two can be - is - difficult at times.

I think one of the things that strikes me is the absence of "role models". I probably have more role models than a lot of people in this respect - and I struggle - often fail - often wonder if I should even try.

I don't know just how common it is to often feel like one is "walking between the worlds". I often feel like I am "walking in the world" of people consuming like there is no tomorrow/because you're worth it/doing something and buying something else just because that's what is advocated to us and we see loads of other people doing on the one hand (I guess in Buddhist terminology they would count as "hungry ghosts" and I have a mental picture of this as stick figures with big eyes and distended stomachs). On the other hand - I sometimes go to environmental or spiritual type events or similar and am then struck by the totally different approach to life of a noticeable number of people there.

One can go out to a restaurant/pub for a meal one minute and see people in the "Consumer World" piling their plates super-high with food and talking about buying some other Consumer Goodie - then on another day be at the type of event I am often at and see people in well-loved clothing/no make-up/no hairdye and carefully taking just the amount of food they actually need to eat and putting a bit back if they think they have been given a bit too much and Schizophrenia Rules Okay - as in "Which World do I live in?" - but I know which one I prefer.

So - I guess my point is "where are the role models by and large for people to emulate?". Most people have few - if any - to even strive to emulate.

lilac_lady

I had a mortgage and a loan due to personal circumstances but my object was to owe nothing so I bit the bullet and had 3 frugal years till I paid them off. I do feel an affinity with all the people here trying to do the same. It certainly frees you up when you have nothing to pay back. Keep on doing the OS/MSE things. It's really worth it.

sarahs999

Ceridwen, I think for me that's true, and there is also still quite a strong tug back to the consumer world for me that I have to fight,. I've grown up with it all my life, so it can't just disappear overnight, even though I'm older and wiser now.

Your post reminded me of going to the Big CHill festival this year. It was really interesting, because the Sunrise festival, which is normally separate and attracts completely different people, was adjoined to th ebig chill, because their own festival had been flooded out a few months before. The Big Chill kindly said that Sunrise could hold thier festival attached to the Big CHill, adn that CHillers and Sunrisers could visit both festivals.

Well. I've always been a festival head, but this really opened my eyes. There's the big chill, with its glitzy stages with huge sound systems and big-brand-booze sponsored HUGELY expensive bars, nice but vastly overpriced food and revellers who are lovely, but all togged up in the latest cool festy gear.

And then you walk through a gate into Sunrise. Teepees, chai, no booze (I guess they didn't have alicence), people selling handmade stuff, political stages, stalls with alternative technology info, lifestyle choices, GREAT stuff for the kids to do. THe Big CHill prides itslef on being a family festival but five minutes at sunrise made me see that I'd forgotten what festivals should be. Big Chill had a fairground, sure, but you had to pay £1.50 a ride - having already paid £140 a ticket each to be there! How is that family friendly in any way? In the sunrise bit there was a very hippy and slightly bonkers but nice woman who had set up a little space draped with scarves and sheets, lots of found items, broken stuf that people had thrown away, and made them all look nice nad enticing for kids. My son and my friends' children spent more time in that little space just playing with stuff they found and enjoyuing it more than in the rest of the BC combined.

So guess whose family ISNT going to the Big CHill next year? LOL. It really was a case of two worlds colliding. The price of everything dropped once you stepped over the threshold as people weren't there just to make a huge profit.

mary43

sarah - thats a lot of money each...........don't blame you for deciding not to go again.............good for a first off experience I suppose and I know people have to make a profit somewhere along the line but just how much does it have to be.
So many things are around us that cost nothing (or next to nothing) and can give just as much, if not more, pleasure.

I was brought up just after the war so my family weren't 'consumers' - it really was a case of make do and mend and I must admit that has stuck with me and also been passed on to my two boys.
It's amazing, since we've got rid of our mortgage, everyone seems to think we'll be selling the house...........we bought it as a home, not some kind of investment but it seems almost as if its expected of us.

Christmas for us as kids was always a 'what mum and dad could afford' event and I can't remember ever enjoying it. My kids have never presented me with a 'wish list' -in fact the only ones I get are from the kids we care for who (as a result of peer pressure I think) seem to feel its an expectation for pressies to run into three figures !!! It never does and they;re never disappointed