Grandmother moving in with me

Merrywidow

Some of the National Express coaches use the Channel Tunnel, as does the one I am on on Wednesday. Its true some come back on the ferry, but you could pick and choose to find the route that suits you.

Devon is a bit far I must admit. This idea is turning into a wet firework I fear. I will put my thinking cap on.

superpup

Merrywidow wrote: »

Some of the National Express coaches use the Channel Tunnel, as does the one I am on on Wednesday. Its true some come back on the ferry, but you could pick and choose to find the route that suits you.

Devon is a bit far I must admit. This idea is turning into a wet firework I fear. I will put my thinking cap on.

Thanks MW don't worry too much. I'm presuming she's going to be up for this.

I'll be there, planning in great detail how to get her to the bulb fields as painlessly as possible and she'll probably turn round and say she'd rather go white water rafting in Canada or something! :rotfl:

Or maybe not but you know what I mean

Merrywidow

OK superpup, but I still think the Coach companies that do these trips are your best bet - all you have to do is sit - how hard is that. Those companies came to life to give the older generation the holidays they normally wouldnt have the strength or knowledge to plan for themselves. The papers will be full of their adverts come the new year - ask at your local travel agent, they might know. Good Luck.

kittykitten

Re: bathing

Don't worry about this. The OT will certainly advise what will work best if you get an OT assessment (I should know, I'm an OT & spend half my life doing bathing assessments!) Also I would be very wary about buying anything (wheelchair, stairlift, walking frame or anything else) before your gran moves in and you have an assessment as different things work for different people, and I'd hate you to spend money on something it turns out you don't need. The vast majority of equipment is available free on the NHS/social services if it's needed. Also don' take this the wrong way but I do tend to find relatives often overestimate the amount of assistance/equipment someone actually needs, and some of the stuff can be more of a hinderance than a help!
If you're really worried about your gran's mobility you could always ask her GP for a physiotherapist referral (either now or when she moves in with you) and they'll be able to advise what walking equipment etc she may need.

If you have any questions feel free to pm me.

Savvy_Sue

Merrywidow wrote: »

OK superpup, but I still think the Coach companies that do these trips are your best bet - all you have to do is sit - how hard is that.

I know it is something we all feel differently about, but some people don't find it comfortable to sit for long periods. I, at least, can sit OK, but getting me going again afterwards is, let's say, a slow and creaky process. I do prefer trains because you don't feel the same pressure to stay in your seat.

Also - and I say this for the benefit of others as much as superpup - my in-laws have done touring coach holidays, but won't any more, because they can't cope with the daily hassle of hauling cases into and out of a different hotel each day, and the pressure of speed-packing each morning.

AND I don't know what the toilets are like on the really long-haul coaches, but on the London run it's a) as much as I can do to insert myself into the aperture and b) getting out again is a bit of a game! :rotfl:

It didn't help on my last coach journey that the hand drier was permanently on, so the whole thing was boiling hot, possibly a fire risk!

superpup

Hello everyone

I know what you mean re the coaches. I am a bit unsure about them. She has been on long coach trips in the last year but sitting for more than even half an hour means she struggles getting up so any longer journeys would be very difficult but we'll figure it out nearer the time. She'll have me to pack and lug cases so that won't be an issue. How hard is it to sling some aertex undies into a bag?

Kittykitten - thanks. I've stopped worrying about what to get and I'm very relieved that someone like you can visit and tell me exactly what we'll need. I am very happy to have that burden taken away as I was dreading it.

I telephoned Nan earlier today and she told me she 'had a tumble' a couple of days ago. It happened when she got the bus into town to pick up some bread. Didn't give me full details but she was taken to hospital in an ambulance and had a bit of a dressing put on the back of her head and sent home later. She didn't call me to let me know as 'you'd have driven up to see me and it's too far for you'. Well duh, yes I would and no, it's not too far! :mad:

She sounded quite chirpy so I'm not overly worried but I do wish she'd told me. She has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and she's going to have a chat with her. She's called social services and they're popping in to see what she needs at home for now.

I'm not sure when SS are coming as Nan made me talk to her sister then who was in a panic that her daughter hadn't picked her up yet. (She drops her off at my Nan's every Sunday afternoon and disappears somewhere for a few hours. ) Aunty was quite distressed and I had to calm her down then Nan just put the phone down on me so didn't get to ask her anything else(that's how she usually ends calls to me but I'm used to it :rolleyes: )

I will speak to her on Tuesday to see how she gets on at the doctor's and may try and get hold of her tomorrow but don't want to be accused of fussing

She didn't tell my Dad that she 'had a tumble' when he rang today as she thinks it's better that he doesn't worry. Am I wrong that this makes me a bit angry? Not sure how to put it into words but I did feel a bit miffed when she told me. Don't really know why I felt it so don't want to try and post the possible reasons why just yet. I will sleep on it and see how I feel about it tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not up in arms about it. I've only just remembered now, but feel a bit guilty that I felt cross

Now I just sound like a nutter :rotfl:

sp x

Errata

Take it as a compliment ! Nan knows you well enough to know you won't have the vapours when she tells you about her tumble and usually women are far better than blokes about this sort of thing.

elsien

superpup wrote: »

She didn't tell my Dad that she 'had a tumble' when he rang today as she thinks it's better that he doesn't worry. Am I wrong that this makes me a bit angry? Not sure how to put it into words but I did feel a bit miffed when she told me. Don't really know why I felt it so don't want to try and post the possible reasons why just yet. I will sleep on it and see how I feel about it tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not up in arms about it. I've only just remembered now, but feel a bit guilty that I felt cross

Now I just sound like a nutter :rotfl:

sp x

Like Errata says, take it as a compliment that she told you because it means she trusts you, (but if it were me, I'd also be wondering why it was ok for me to worry, but not my dad!) Grandma didn't tell me once that she couldn't walk due to gout and didn't phone the GP as "she couldn't get there." That made me cross because she was walking around with a plastic bag on her foot for 3 days as she couldn't get her shoes on. I just felt that as a fully functioning adult, she really should have got a grip and either phoned me or phoned a taxi - I know she's older now but she's managed perfectly well on her own for all these years and then to risk a major fall for the sake of picking up a phone. :mad: I think it bothered me so much because it was just so unneccessary.
I do love my grandma, but she drives me completely nuts sometimes. The really worrying thing is I can see so much of myself in her, that I know exactly what sort of cantankerous old biddy I'm going to be in 30 years time.:eek:


On the positive side, and going back on topic, your nan wasn't seriously hurt and it means that she'll have a bit of help to keep her going strong until the move with you is all organised. If she doesn't mind, you could always ask her if she can give her permission for you to speak directly to her GP/social services - that way you'll get the information straight from them rather than through the "nan filter." Glad to hear she's ok, anyway.

Errata

My stepdad gave his permission for me to talk about him to both health and social care staff. He had to do it in writing because of the data protection act and had to word it "I give my permission for any health or social care worker to discuss my health and social status and needs with my stepdaughter Errata Blah " . Two originals lodged with his primary care practice and elderly care social service, and carried a further original in my wallet for emergencies at A & E.

Savvy_Sue

superpup, I know what you mean, my mum sometimes used to unload things onto me when she didn't want to tell any of my siblings, and she still does sometimes say things like "But you'd better keep it quiet".

But she probably didn't tell your dad because she really didn't want him dashing back from 'abroad', in the same way that she didn't want you dashing up from the depths of Devon.

It is a tough call at times. My dad's been in hospital a few times lately, and I tend to go and see him even if mum says it's not necessary, because I know I'd be upset if it turned out it had been necessary. However, by the time I get there I can see what mum meant ...

I am pretty sure that if it had been MORE serious, the hospital would have suggested calling you and been more insistent about it, IYSWIM.