Moving back in with parents

CHARDONNAY_3

Thank you for all the advice.

Been to see my doctor this morning, who signed me on sick for rest of week as I was a bit of a mess. The whole situation is getting me down esp after a tough year.

I called my Housing Officer to explain situation and she said we could re-apply to the waiting list to be moved but could take years to be re-housed.

I asked about transfers but she said while this is poss, there is no central list of other HA tenants who want to transfer so we would have to find someone ourselves. Short of knocking on doors, don't know how we would do this!

I have also called Coucil about housing, who said we can apply but have no priority, so average wait time would be 3 - 5 years for a 1 bed flat.

My mum had suggested my partner could move in with her too but he said he would feel too awkward. His mum is happy for him to move back and I would be able to stay over occassionally, but not move in.

I know I am fortunate to have an HA flat and I'm reluctant to give it up without much thought but I really don't know what else to do.

lostinrates

CHARDONNAY wrote: »

I know I am fortunate to have an HA flat and I'm reluctant to give it up without much thought but I really don't know what else to do.

I think in this thread you local councillor, CAB and Shelter have all ben mentioned. This leads are what you should follow next and are 'what else to do'.

Although I realise this could be taken as sanctimonious, it is not meant to be, dealing with this successfully really is great for self esteem and your relationship. Winning together against all odds is very rewarding .

poppysarah

You will have to keep records of ALL incidents. It's such a PITA you will get depressed and not feel like it.
By doing this and involving the police, councillors etc then the problem might get solved.

Please don't give up your tenancy - ring shelter and ask them the process rules for getting a transfer in this situation. You have nothing to lose by doing this.

Find out about homewatch and go along. You get to see top local cops and can report issues. They'll give you loads of support - and ask your neighbours to also come along and report issues to the police.
In fact do a little leaflet giving the police non-999 number and a request for them to be vigilant reporting problems (and the name of the local pcso and her contact details). I was suprised how many people didn't know the local police number and were worried about ringing 999.

Every call to the police is a step nearer the planet getting better for you.


Oh and HA staff are often a bit slack at giving the right info about transfers. So get it direct from shelter or the CAB and also make a note of every time you ring anyone about this (police, housing, councillors) and then if it doesn't start getting sorted you can explain to the MP who you've spoken to.
Don't be afraid of asking people for their name when ringing the HA either. "So I can make a note of who I've spoken to" will work wonders for you.

neas

Its unfortunate isn't it? Housing assosciations are cheaper than private accomodations... but because they are cheaper and house those on lower income.. which sometimes includes the following. i.e jobles... gangs.... yobs... druggies.. ex-criminals that the area gets degraded to the point anyone decent moves away.... and the community is lost to a dump.

Shame...

neverdespairgirl

LindseyM wrote: »

And you let him/her get away.....??

He's my head of chambers, so he's not gone far (-:

DollParts_2

Chardonnay, I also live in a HA flat and empathise greatly. I have to agree with NEAS – there are the few undesirable tenants who will spoil it for people like us who just want a happy life. I live in a tower block on the 14th floor. I’m not allowed to own my own washing machine so have to use the laundry room on the ground floor which I have to pay for – no fun when the lift isn’t working! My boyfriends car was broken into a couple of months ago whilst parked not far from here and my bike was stolen a month ago. I have also been verbally abused in the lift and also on many occasions when walking home from work – unfortunately I also work as well as live in the city centre of Leicester.

I don’t earn enough to save for a place and thanks to my ex (who was useless with money) I now have problems with defaults and CCJ’s so can’t get a mortgage. I am reluctant to give up this place though because I know how unscrupulous private landlords can be.

I want to get a place with my boyfriend – we’ve been together 18 months. We called ownhome but they have now suspended the scheme. We can’t live together here as we’d be on top of each other in this pokey flat – the HA will only offer one bed flats to couples.

If I could go and live with my mum to save money I would – even at my age (37) I considered it when I split from my ex in 2006 but then my nana was diagnosed with alzheimers and my mum had to give up work and move to look after her, so in the end it was not an option for me. You only have one life and you must do what makes you feel better, especially if your health is suffering – take it from someone who has been through the same stress. It’s not a step backwards - if you guys love each other you can make it work. It could almost be like ‘dating’ again – and you might even find that because you have some time apart, you would appreciate each other even more J Mum’s are there to help and I think most parents would do what they can ro see their children happy – no matter what age they are! Plenty of graduates in their 20’s go back home after uni because they can’t afford their own place.

I really hope that you find peace and happiness – things will get better.

davey9998

either move back in with your parents or get another job and pay for rent privately and cut back on your spending.

shirlgirl2004

I'd look for a transfer whilst continuing to explore the longer term avenues. If you are happy to swap for a one bed place then you may well find that you will get a swap easier. OK one bedroom isn't ideal but a 1 bed in a nice place is better than a 2 bed in a not so nice.

Travel to the areas you want to live in and that have suitable HA flats and put postcards in newsagents. Even consider popping notices though doors. Anything has to be worth a try. I'm sure you're aware nothing comes to you on a plate nowadays and getting out and doing something positive abut it may help you to feel better.

bristol_pilot

Microstar wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by bristol_pilot
Someone once said (allegedly) "A man who, beyond the age of 26, finds himself on a bus can count himself as a failure."





:rotfl: Surely you remember? - that was one of Mrs Thatcher's more memorable quotes. I thought you were a fan? What she actually said was, "Any man who rides a bus to work after the age of 30 can count himself a failure in life." She was rather well known for having an antipathy toward any form of public transport. A bit like (GW) Bush's famous, "What will I do for public transport? I will improve the economy so you can find good enough work to be able to afford a car." Classic stuff
IIRC Thatcher said this around the time of the publication of the "Roads to Prosperity" white paper, which she described as the "biggest road building programme since the Romans" I think over £20bn was spent, but we didn't see much new road....

It was indeed Thatcher I had in mind and - attributed to her - the age was 26 (not 30). However, the story may be apocryphal and apparently it is denied that she ever said this which is why I said 'allegedly' in my post. According to Wiki, the original source was the Duchess of Westminster (and the age stated was then 30 rather than 26).

bandraoi

To me there's truth in the spirit of the statement but not in the exact wording.

Any man who has to ride a bus to work after the age of 30 can count himself a failure in life.

would be more accurate to me.