Buddiebabe's new beginnings....

buddiebabe

Happy New Year

Am hoping today will be the first of many no spend days for 2009

Buddiebabe x

buddiebabe

Well so much for my new year new start!!!

I was working today when one of the girls came into the shop to tell me that someone had smashed the rear windscreen of my car :mad: I couldn't believe it. It's just my luck everytime i think im going to be able to start making a dent in my debts or have no spend days then something always crops up!

I phoned the insurance and its not a claim so i dont need to pay the £250 excess just £50 to get the windscreen replaced... at least im not going to be £250 out of pocket just £50 :mad:

Now just before xmas i had to get 2 new tyres fitted on the car £123.98, then it had to go into the garage costing me £37.39 to get something under the car fixed and now through no fault of my own its another £50.00 :mad: im just so angry!!!!! Oh and to top it all off i came home to my car insurance renewal when i got home oh and my MOT is due this month.... why oh why do i need a car

Im just so fed up with everything and its only the third of January!!!!

I have received my Tesco statement through and with the interest added my balance was £1671.38. I have paid £51.38 today. The minimum payment was £50.00 so have paid an extra £1.38. I have also paid my mum £3.00 off what i owe her.

I have also spent £26.07 today of which i really didn't need to spend much of if i'd been more organised and taken lunch with me and left my purse at home so i didn't buy all the bargains that i just didn't need at work. It was an expensive day not including the £50.00 i've had to put aside to pay for the car.

Last year i started saving money every month for the car and house things so at the moment i have the following saved:

Gas £207.05 (am due a bill this month which im expecting to be quite high!)
House Repairs £130.14 (will need to use some of this for the factoring bill due in this month - possibly not enough here to cover this)
House Insurance £40.00
Road Tax £100.00
Car Insurance £267.00 (car insurance is due this month my renewal quote is £305.04 but i still have the money to put away for this month yet which would just cover this)
MOT & Servicing £210.90

TV licence savings £30.50

I also have the following saved at work:

Works bank a/c 1 £3.83 (i get £25 taken off my wages paid into this every month - this is for xmas presents and food)
Works bank a/c 2 £0.08

My dilema is that the money that i have saved for the MOT and servicing of the car should have been spent on the new tyres, fixing the car and also replacing the windscreen, however, if i do take the money out for those things i have nothing left for the MOT (i have increased my debt by using my credit card to pay for the tyres before xmas) what should i do??? Do i leave the money in the account and see how much the MOT is and if there is anything left after take it out and pay it towards the debt or do i take it out now and repay the credit card then when the MOT is due have to put it on the credit card help please?????

Im going to watch some tv and try to relax for a while.... my head hurts from trying to think :rolleyes:

Any suggestions welcome

Buddiebabe x

buddiebabe

Is there any point continuing with this diary anymore. I don't think so.

Thanks Seaxwyn for always taking time out to offer kind words :A

I've finally had enough and dont think i can take much more every thing is going wrong and i dont know what to do. It always seems like one step forward and a hundred back.

Buddiebabe x

Seaxwyn

Hi there - I'm sorry to hear you sounding so down. It's not surprising, it's a long slog and you work so hard. Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? Boyfriend? Family? Anyone at work?

As for whether to continue with the diary - well do it if it helps you. But if you stop posting I will worry about you! Are you on facebook?

Elsas_mamma

Hi Buddiebabe.
I am sorry your start to the year has not been so good. You had been sounding so positive. Maybe you should try to keep going with the diary to help keep you motivated. Did anything come of the possible assistant managers job you mentioned? Did you get back to see your doctor....it might help the way you feel at the moment.
It is reading the diaries that has really made me own up(to myself) to the mess we are in. I am just building up the courage to start my own diary!!
Take care.
XX

buddiebabe

Thanks for the kind words. Today was not a good day. 1st day back at work after being off sick for 4 days and i was panicing before i even got into the car. When i got to work someone just said hello and i was in tears... no idea whats wrong with me or where to start just dont know what to do or how to keep going at the moment.

My boyfriends gran died today and its making me question where my priorities are and i can honestly say im at the past caring about anything stage. Im sorry for my down and depressing posts but its just about all i can manage. Am just trying to keep up some sense of normality but no idea how long it will last

Buddiebabe x

Elsas_mamma

Hi, me again!
I am sorry to hear about your BF's gran.
Your words of feeling down and being past caring ring very true for me, and I am sure we are not alone.....it just feels like it sometimes.
You say you don't know whats wrong with you and why you keep crying or how to carry on. Without sounding patronising, you will find a way. You need some help to get there though, did you get back to your gp yet?
Keeping up with the diary on here may help a bit. It will give you something to focus on and reading other success stories is very motivating.
Nearly everyone I know has no idea at all what is going on under the surface, if they did......!!!!!!!!
Take care of yourself and keep popping in to say hi.
XX

buddiebabe

Thanks i've arranged an appointment for Thursday night to see the doctor im also seeing someone 2moro about stress managment so will see how both appointments go.

I had another bad day today causing me to breakdown at work this morning and its the second time this week that i've not been able to stop myself from crying. It was the worst feeling today not being able to keep in control of my emotions in front of people i work with. I could have so easily walked out today and the only reason i didn't was the fact that i wouldnt get sick pay from my 2nd job and i cannot afford to loose that money and i don't think it would benefit me in the long run to take time off cause at this moment in time i honestly could just leave and not go back... but deep down i know that wouldn't be the best thing for me.

I'll update again once i've seen the doc as i know i need some kind of help

As far as the debt goes at the moment i don't think im any better or worse off this month i've still got to find £250 to pay the mortgage and my Debenhams card once the statement comes in. Everything else has been paid so i know i don't need to think about these things just now.

Buddiebabe x

Elsas_mamma

Good luck for tomorrow and Thursday, lets us know how you get on. Stress management sounds like a really good idea.
The thing with the debt is as longs as everything is being paid as and when it should be, and you are not making any rash buys, it will wait for a few weeks while you take time to sort yourself out abit. Too much at once will not be a good thing for you.
Just don't do what someone I knew a very long time ago did. I used to go to a group session when I had post natal depression and a lady there was suffering a great deal. To cheer herself up one day she went on a bit of a spending spree....she spent virtually every penny she and her OH had on a brand new car! Her OH had a well paid job and they had good savings, so she was able to pay cash for the car. They had nothing left to pay for bills, food etc!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her OH must have the patience of a saint, he simply took the car back and explained the details and was lucky to get his money back. Think mine would have blown a gasket!!!!And not on the car!!

XX

Seaxwyn

Well done making appointments with the doctor and stress management person. I hope they can offer you some useful help. I'm sure they will. I'm glad you've got a bit of a breather from worrying about debt. It's only money - but it sure does have the ability to stress us out loads. Try to keep it in perspective and focus on the positives for now. Take care xxx