CSA- mother not spending money on child

Loopy_Girl

Frankly I don't know how some NRP's can sleep at night (mine ex included). I used to think that their conscience would !!!!! eventually but it just seems they manage to create a life and then simply walk away.

It's these !!!!!! that have been a parent and lived in the family home for X amount of years and then just walk away and don't pay a penny.....and then when they get hit with a massive CSA bill whine about their new family and huge mortgage...what about your OLD family - they were here first!!!:mad:


(jeez, better get off my soapbox or god knows where this will lead!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: )

candygirl

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Frankly I don't know how some men can sleep at night (mine ex included). I used to think that their conscience would !!!!! eventually but it just seems they manage to create a life and then simply walk away.

It's these !!!!!! that have been a Dad and lived in the family home for X amount of years and then just walk away and don't pay a penny.....and then when they get hit with a massive CSA bill whine about their new family and huge mortgage...what about your OLD family - they were here first!!!:mad:


(jeez, better get off my soapbox or god knows where this will lead!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: )

I divorced my violent ex when DD was 2, and allowed him reasonable access to see her.He disappeared down South, and was eventually traced and made to pay a pittance in maintenance.Years later my DD saw his profile on friends reunited that stated he had 2 kids, and it gave their names, and she wasn't one of them:( Imagine how she felt at this, and at the fact he never bothered to send her a card for any birthday or xmas, to spite me as I had divorced him:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
How low do some people stoop, to the detriment of the kids:eek: :eek:

sara1880

Paparika wrote: »

Who you calling a feminist?

I'd say if your not gonna stay around to help raise the child then keep your legs crossed and knickers on / tie a knot in it (obviously depending which is the NRP)


what you wrote there implies you think any NRP just left and decided they didnt want to bring up the kids.In so many cases that is just not how it is.

Also to Jonny If you ex isn't getting Income support you do not have to use CSA at all. I am a single mother who fought for years to get an money from my ex and now i do, £15 a week. so i have been there done that

I can see why you are frustrated, i would be annoyed to if i was paying nearly £500 to someone and saw little evidence of it being spent on my child. But thats exactly what it is, your seeing little evidence.
People saying that there is hidden costs like buses to school trips clubs etc. yes this maybe the case, but also could be the case that your daughter walks to school, isnt really into clubs, and if the mother is on a low income getting free school dinners and subsidised trips.

You can stop using CSA like i said before and pay your daughter direct so long as you have it logged somewhere that you are doing so but how much do you trust your daughter, could she spend it on drink/drugs going out clubbing paying for all her mates saturday pizza? £490 is a huge amount of money to trust a 16 year old with,

sara1880

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Frankly I don't know how some men can sleep at night (mine ex included). I used to think that their conscience would !!!!! eventually but it just seems they manage to create a life and then simply walk away.

It's these !!!!!! that have been a Dad and lived in the family home for X amount of years and then just walk away and don't pay a penny.....and then when they get hit with a massive CSA bill whine about their new family and huge mortgage...what about your OLD family - they were here first!!!:mad:


I'm sat here wondering why you chose to say DADS, you do know that there are thousands of MUMS who walk away have a new life and new family etc. You are generalizing a lot in a lot of your replies.
what about the hundreds of Dads who have been kicked out by the Ex and refused access for no reason, and yes it does happen. What about poor dad who used to see his kids wake up ever day and just because Mum says so he can now only see the kids once a week for an hour down the park? what about those people.

Loopy_Girl

candygirl wrote: »

I divorced my violent ex when DD was 2, and allowed him reasonable access to see her.He disappeared down South, and was eventually traced and made to pay a pittance in maintenance.Years later my DD saw his profile on friends reunited that stated he had 2 kids, and it gave their names, and she wasn't one of them:( Imagine how she felt at this, and at the fact he never bothered to send her a card for any birthday or xmas, to spite me as I had divorced him:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
How low do some people stoop, to the detriment of the kids:eek: :eek:

Good god...that's awful Candygirl Bloody !!!!!! that he is.

All I hang on to is that my beautiful intelligent witty daughter is going to knock on her Dad's door in 10 years (she's 6 just now) and HE can answer the questions. Appropriate to her age I answer questions about her Dad but even I don't know the answer as to why he wants nothing to do with her and goes to so much bother to make sure he gets a nil assessment. What's even more galling is that he was a Dad already before she was born - so he knows how great it is to be a parent and still turned his back on her.:mad:

I firmly believe they will all get their comeuppance and I think that some fathers when they are in their 60/70's are going to bitterly regret the way they treated their kids. But hopefully the kids will have told them all to jog off...karma and all that;)

Loopy_Girl

sara1880 wrote: »

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Frankly I don't know how some men can sleep at night (mine ex included). I used to think that their conscience would !!!!! eventually but it just seems they manage to create a life and then simply walk away.

It's these !!!!!! that have been a Dad and lived in the family home for X amount of years and then just walk away and don't pay a penny.....and then when they get hit with a massive CSA bill whine about their new family and huge mortgage...what about your OLD family - they were here first!!!:mad:


I'm sat here wondering why you chose to say DADS, you do know that there are thousands of MUMS who walk away have a new life and new family etc. You are generalizing a lot in a lot of your replies.
what about the hundreds of Dads who have been kicked out by the Ex and refused access for no reason, and yes it does happen. What about poor dad who used to see his kids wake up ever day and just because Mum says so he can now only see the kids once a week for an hour down the park? what about those people.

I am saying Dads alot....sorry for that. I know there are alot of Mum's that are NRP's.

What about my wee girl who is desperate to see her Dad and he wants nothing to do with her? What do I do? Go to a lawyer? err....no, I can't ask for access like some NRP's who don't get to see their kids.
and to answer your question at the end...these people should take legal advice ASAP and get access sorted. Lucky them eh? Their kids have a Daddy

sara1880

Sorry to hear your girl cant see her dad and that is really bad on his part i mean REALLY bad but like you say you cant make him, some people are just clueless to what precious little kids they have just waiting to give them an unconditional love only a child can give and we wont ever be able to change that.

Loopy_Girl

I have edited my posts sara1880 since it was clearly niggling you.......

enemes

sara1880 wrote: »

I'm sat here wondering why you chose to say DADS, you do know that there are thousands of MUMS who walk away have a new life and new family etc. You are generalizing a lot in a lot of your replies.
what about the hundreds of Dads who have been kicked out by the Ex and refused access for no reason, and yes it does happen. What about poor dad who used to see his kids wake up ever day and just because Mum says so he can now only see the kids once a week for an hour down the park? what about those people.

Hey ... ur dead right. I've got an ex who doesn't pay for her children. However, I don't think loopy Girl meant to discriminate. It is easy to let it roll off the tongue.

There are loads of dads who get a raw deal, and likewise there are loads of mums who give dads ( PWCs) an even rawer deal.

candygirl

My DD is 21 now, and all throughout her childhood I have tried to answer her questions about why her Dad doesn't come to see her with age appropriate answers, as they can only take on so much info at a time:)
When she reached 18, and was at uni, and he stopped paying maintenance , even though in our case[strike]pre CSA[/strike]he was meant to pay until she finished her education, inc uni, the penny finally dropped with her.We sat down and had a good talk, and I had to admit that even I have no clue why he chose not to see her:(
She has turned out to be a fantasic, clever, well adjusted person, all credit to me and my family:)
If he ever has regrets, it's up to him to contact her, but with his new family, I doubt he ever will:rolleyes: