CSA- mother not spending money on child

Johnocyprus

Since the CSA assessment in 1998 my ex has spent little of the assessment on my daughter. Until now my daughter has had Bed and Breakfast for free but has to pay for most of her clothing, train tickets, toiletries etc, I currently pay my ex £490 per month.
I have previously complained to the CSA re the way my ex spends the assessment but they do not care, they appear to be simply a collection agency.
My daughter has long been aware of the injustice of this however what has really upset her is that apparently her mother now wants some of her educational maintenance allowance ( £30 per week ? )
My daughter wants me to give her some money direct and wants to phone the CSA to tell them about things at home, my question is will the CSA respect confidentiality? Also will it do any good? My ex is a liar and will deny everything and she is convincing.
Lastly should my daughter live with me is stopping my payments a simple matter because my ex will no doubt swear on the bible that my daughter is still living with her a year after she's moved out.
Thanks in anticipation

bestpud

How has your dd paid for all these items while still at school?

CSA isn't meant to go directly to the child - it is meant to go towards keeping that child and, believe me, there is more cost to bringing up children than clothes and toiletries!

samarnesen

how old is your daughter

cazziebo

Well said, best pud.

I hear this all the time that fathers wouldn't mind paying maintenance if it went direct to the child. I know what my two daughters would spend it on - and it wouldn't be mortgage, council tax, heating, lighting, food, petrol taking them places, school lunches, school clothes etc etc. My two daughters were away most of the summer, and the savings were substantial (and no maintenance payments!).

I also sense the OP is allowing himself to be manipulated by the daughter - don't fall into that trap.

dolly25_2

I used to work for the csa up until last month and we used to hear from non resident parents all the time complaining that their maintenance wasn't being spent on their child. Unfortunatley, it isn't for the CSA to dictate exactly what the money given by the non resident parent to the parent with care is spent on. So what if she spends it on something that the non resident parent feels is inappropriate- she obviously feels that she has budgeted correctly so that the child does not miss out on any essentials.

notlongnow_2

[quote

CSA isn't meant to go directly to the child - it is meant to go towards keeping that child and, believe me, there is more cost to bringing up children than clothes and toiletries![/quote]

Maybe. But...£490 a month?? plus possible child benefit, plus mum wants money from daughter? Thats one very expensive child..lol.

Id have her living with me and tell mum to bo**ocks! and then counter-claim the child support money and get mum to pay for daughter, but thats just my view.

samarnesen

we are only hearing one side of the story maybe the daughter has only told her dad that her mum wants money off her every week teenagers can be very manipulative as every parent of one knows

Johnocyprus

Sorry should have said daughter is 16 years old.

I appreciate how much things do cost but please accept for the purposes of my enquiry that my ex treats my daughter as a meal ticket. I would be interested to know if any conversation my daughter had with the CSA would be confidential and if stopping the payments are a simple matter as in original post.

Thanks again

samarnesen

i think the best thing for you to do if you feel that strongly is to have her live with you then you wont a thing and if your ex is working she will pay you i imagine to do this you would have to contact the child benefit centre and let them know asap they will then award you with the child benefit which is proof your daughter is living with you
i cant imagine the csa will do anything if your daughter rings them

bestpud

You haven't answered how she has paid her way while still at school?

It will make no difference if your dd rings the CSA.

I agree you are possibly being manipulated here!

There are many hidden costs to bringing up children but if you feel you can do it better, then yes, move your dd in with you! She is 16 and it is her choice after all. I mean, why encourage her to plot behind her mothers back - is that really how you want your daughter to behave?? Put your money where you mouth is and let her move in.

Personally, I think you will have a shock, and not least because you will be the bad guy then, as the resident parent almost invariably is!!

samarnesen

couldnt agree more bestpud im struggling to get £5.25 a week from my ex he has no other kids and spends more on his dog a week than his son and he wonders why i need more a week lol