Slaying my debts, the second year

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks Sarahxxxx

I did have those dates, but now with me discovering my maths is wrong they are all a little out of whack.

I think that, coupled with the whole not boyfriend thing, plus Mum not going away plus work being terrible I am just having a mini melt down!

I need to re group. I am off to my best friends on Friday- the FOUR hour train journey might give me some thinking time!!

thanks againxx

mum2one

Thats family for you, ur mum just reminded me of my nan, I was only young, (about 8 when nan had to go into a home), and every time we were going on hol, it was the annual week in Aug at the seaside, nan would always say to mum, I wont be here when u get back, I'll be dead, my poor mum use to be in hell of a state, yet apparently she use to tell everybody at the home, my heather has gone on hol, do her good, I do miss her, and be as joyful as anything, even when other family members went, I think she gave up when I was about 15, as we made mum go on hol.
I.m doing more talking 2ngt, but guess Im saying its always the ones closet as they feel more responsible........
Maybe your mum feels threatened by ur changes, as thou your going to abonden her, to you the 2nd job was for money for debts to her, it could be ur escaping and dont want to be there. Again, with loseing your pets, maybe by not getting more pets, shes reading things into the situation. Is there any chance you can get ur sisters together so you can have a chat, u cant take it all on ur shoulders, they need to help xx

mum2one

Good I'm glad your getting away fri, even if its a 4hr train journey!! are you staying over, that do you the world of good, u need buffy time, buffy as a person, not buffy the debt slayer, not buffy who is responsible for home, not buffy who is the world beater, buffy the person. x

GeorgeUK

Rambling is allowed - meltdown's aren't (well, maybe for a few minutes).

If i was to try tackling everything that you do there wouldn't even be a puddle left of me after my meltdown.

There's only so much you can do and i think the situation with your mum is one that you'll have to resign yourself to not being able to really change. It is up to her to not be so dependant on you. Does she go out of the house by herself, to visit friends or go for walks? How's her social life? Perhaps if she was able to fil her days up with more things she wouldn't be so despondant all the time which would relieve the pressure on you.

I agree the job situation sucks but there's not much you can do about that, especially in the current climate. Not sure, but could your boss be making life difficult for you because you are possibly the most expensive teacher and been there so long? Just wondered if he was a jerk or a devious jerk. Hope something turns up soon. especiall as you seem to put so many hours into the job - if i couldn't just leave it all behind at 5 i'd be going cuckoo.

For the banking etc, do you have it all laid out on a spreadsheet or something? Mine is just a running total of all the balances and interest and i keep enough in the bank to cover a t least a full months worth of payments incase i overspend or something comes up and i forget to do the finances at the start of the month. With everything else going on, remembering the passwords, which payments are when and not forgetting to add on the interest - it's no wonder you are getting more stressed.

Take it easy and try to relax.
There are some things you can't change or be in control of so don't even try.
Hope you feel better soon.

George

Buffythedebtslayer

Been off for a think.

I do have to go in to work tomorrow. I really do not want to. I need half term to be now! I am behind cos of my second job and the fact that I don't work at home as much as I should.

so I shall finish my reports before bed, not as mad as it sounds exactly.

Next thing I shall have to accept that I will not be debt free by Christmas. I am at worse about 3000 pounds out. It is not the end of the world

Instead I will aim for my 34 (!) birthday. Thats in March 2010. I am not going to lessen my efforts in any way but I need to not be so set on Dec.

As for Mum, well I will have to do something. I feel stronger these days way better then I used to.

We are doing better with Food, and I am going away next weekend and then there is manchester to look forward to.

Yes boyfriends are a problem. part of the problem with the not boyfriend was that I could never be honest about him to Mum or seeing him. I think he felt I was ashamed or not serious. (not weakening don't worry!) but since there won't be any of that for a while (July at least) I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Going out. I will do more even just to people's houses!!

Work. that is tough I am more up to date but not completely.

I think Sarah, I will get my year planner that I wasn't going to put up and see what plans I can make.........

I must stay positive. I do know the answers to this. I just need to keep going.

thanks for letting me vent. xxxxx

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I don't think she means to but she does not like change, me getting a second job was a big deal cos we would have to have dinner late.

So, does that mean she absolutely resisted you moving back in with her because of the change that entailed?

Buffythedebtslayer

ZTD wrote: »

So, does that mean she absolutely resisted you moving back in with her because of the change that entailed?

no...;) smarty pants! Although originally I came home so they could live abroad with my sister for most of the year - I would look after the house although that never happened.
xxxx

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

no...;) smarty pants! Although originally I came home so they could live abroad with my sister for most of the year - I would look after the house although that never happened.
xxxx

So does the fact you're calling me smarty pants mean you know where I'm headed with this?

Buffythedebtslayer

ZTD wrote: »

So does the fact you're calling me smarty pants mean you know where I'm headed with this?

yes change is only ok on her terms.

I just feel bad. I really do. But how much worse will I feel when I am 40 and have no life of my own, no family etc?

but then I think meeting some one is so unlikely! too much thinking for a Sunday night.

xxx

mum2one

Go and get some sleep, ur poor brain has worked overtime, ur body is worked as hard, and u need to get a clear head, Rome wasnt built in a day, ur debts are going great guns, so take one day at a time, make sure you look in the mirror and say "yes I have debts, there being sorted, I am a lovely person" and that set u up for the day xx