Problems with guest list and FIL....

MrsTinks

Interesting... We in the end had a small wedding and decided to let children come as I have a baby brother of 4 (don't ask) and DH has a niece of 2. But our guest list was way under 100 even with the kids.
It's YOUR wedding! You decide on who to invite.
We toyed with not having kids other than the 2 mentioned above but I'm glad we had more they were such a hoot!
Had we decided NOT to have kids there I would have made sure it was mentioned in the invites as a little "sub note"
Like: "We sadly can not accomodate children at the wedding much as we love them all. We thank you for your understanding and hope you will still come and share in our special day"

or something like that.

Remember and repeat lots: "IT'S OUR WEDDING! WE MAKE THE RULES"

lesley1960

Stephb1986 wrote: »

well i've just got engaged and tbh my OH's neices and nephews are little animals and dont know how to behave i dont particularly like his sister either. But im not going to have her dictate to me what I have on my day. Its a day about the two of you not what your FIL says is he paying for the wedding?? If he is maybe let him invite 1 or 2 kids if not its non of his business!!!

Im sorry but kids get bored after a few hours so why should someone have their day spoilt by some little brat.

Steph xx

never been to a wedding yet that has been spoilt by a child

flea72

yes it is your day, but you do also have to think of others. I tend to find that people who dont allow kids to their own wedding/parites, are the first to moan about discrimination, once they they have their own little darlings.

How would you feel if your best friend said ok you can come to my wedding, but your partner must stay at home as he would spoil the ambience. i wouldnt want to attend, we come as a job lot or not at all.

Personally i find children make a wedding. They keep everyone entertained of the evening with their antics, and also help lighten the mood

Children dont tend to be included in the numbers for catering, so its not like they are adding additional expense anyway

No-one says you have to invite them all for the whole formal wedding, but maybe children allowed just in the evening, as that keeps most people happy.

If you partner has a small family, then yes i would invite joe bloggs and his dogs, to make up numbers on their side, as it can look really unbalanced at the ceremony, and obviously having everything perfect and just so, on your wedding day is the end all

i wouldnt put children not welcome on the invites, just lists the names of the people who are invited. that way, there may be some children who can be added to the list to make up even numbers, but without putting other peoples noses out of joint, as they would prob just assume that those children are closer in relation to yourselves

Flea

mymatebob

MrsTine wrote: »

Interesting... We in the end had a small wedding and decided to let children come as I have a baby brother of 4 (don't ask) and DH has a niece of 2. But our guest list was way under 100 even with the kids.
It's YOUR wedding! You decide on who to invite.
We toyed with not having kids other than the 2 mentioned above but I'm glad we had more they were such a hoot!
Had we decided NOT to have kids there I would have made sure it was mentioned in the invites as a little "sub note"
Like: "We sadly can not accomodate children at the wedding much as we love them all. We thank you for your understanding and hope you will still come and share in our special day"

or something like that.

Remember and repeat lots: "IT'S OUR WEDDING! WE MAKE THE RULES"

That note is a good idea - saves any confusion as to those who might think you had simply "forgotten" to invite their little darlings as well.

TotallyBroke

An ex sister in law of mine got married and she came from a big family. She invited immediate family (Mother, Father, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives & nieces/nephews) to the sit down meal. She then invited God Parents only(no children) and invited one cousin & partner to represent the other relations. (this cousin was the closet one to her in age so she would have more in common with them. those that had children came while her Aunts (their parent) looked after the grandchildren until the evening).
The evening reception was open to everyone. Children included. If you are worrying about them misbehaving could you not possibly hire a children's entertainer for a couple of hours.

mymatebob

To get back to the OPs original question definitely have it out with FIL2B ASAP IYKWIM - sorry just did that to be daft!

Let us know how you get on - all the best for YOUR big day.

LISSILEIGH

i come from a huge family and so does my husband (i mean huge) when we got married we invited just 35 to the wedding (people who bothered with us really)

and for the evening we still didnt invite half of them mainly due to not seeing these people very often if ever at all!!. nobody took offence to this.

and some have since done the same thing, one even invited my mom and not my dad!!!! (because they could afford it, more like having what they want and not what they can afford!!)

not all children at weddings are brats!!!

you should go with what you want on your wedding, as its your day, hope you have fun, and good luck xxxx

RoxieW

We said no kids at our weddings (apart form our own!) and it caused massive uproar within the family.
But rather that then have my wedding like I had my engagment party - decorations ripped down, flowers thrown everywhere, balloons lets out of the door and children escaping left right and centre with me running after them because mum and dad were more interested in getting drunk then keeping their unruly kids in order.
Weddings have a lot put into them in terms of money, time, thought and effort - I didnt want my day ruined because other people cant control their kids. Another example is a friend who hired a band, to great expense and agonised other which first dance to have. Shouldnt have bothered as all anyone can remember is the gang of kids running around the dancefloor popping balloons whilst they tried to have a romantic first dance.
And the poster who said children arent included in catering - usually they are. My venue for example charged £12 per child, as opposed to £30 per adult, for the sit don meal. x 10 children £120 x 25 children £300. It all adds up.
Stuff everyone else - its your day! Stick to your guns.

ncgirl

If people do not want kids at their wedding then that is their perogative and they should not be made to feel guilty about it. We're personally not having children at our after wedding do, as we can't think of anything worse than kids running about the place. Even if I had children and I was invited to a wedding I would not take them, as I would want to let my hair down. It's irresponsible to be looking after children with a few drinks down you and if you're not drinking and having to constantly watch your kids around other people drinking, how much fun is that? It's not like people haven't had enough time to organise a babysitter/childminder/close friend etc, most people know when they're going to a wedding months in advance. My 2 nieces are going to be bridesmaids (age 6 and 11) and then they are being collected by their father (he and my sister are not together anymore) before the do. Most of my friends (with kids) are quite happy with this, as it means they don't have to feel guilty about not taking their kids.

floss2

lesley1960 wrote: »

never been to a wedding yet that has been spoilt by a child

Obviously weren't at the three "children welcome" weddings that I was at then......

Children fighting in the church......toddler having first of several screaming fits because she couldn't go up the aisle after her bigger sister (who was a BM)......2 children eating so much cake they were sick....