Problems with guest list and FIL....

kyh

Your wedding should be about you and your future spouse not about anyone else - it is your day and no one else's. If you don't want children there don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. Only invite the people that you want to see on that day otherwise you will spend half your time talking to people you can't remember from Adam/Eve. Even if they are family, if you don't want them there then don't invite them and make that clear to adults with children - most of the time you only get to do this once make it your day!!! unfortunately I had to do it twice to get it right but at least the 2nd time I had the people my husband and I wanted at the wedding not who our parents wanted!!!

LilMissEmmylou

you know i don't begrudge people deciding not to have kids at their wedding its your choice so do what you like - however, i honestly hate the patheticness of people calling kids "brats" and in one post referring to a child as "it"! Oh and not to forget the great line of "if I had kids I would/wouldn't.....".... its simple if you DON'T have kids, don't start to presume what you would or wouldn't do, because UNTIL you have kids you wont have an inkling or understanding of what it is to have kids, how you feel about them, what life is like finding a sitter etc etc. (and don't bloody start with the I have a cousin, nephew, sister etc etc! it ain't the same!)

There I feel better now, needed to get that off my chest.

fawd1

LilMissEmmylou wrote: »

you know i don't begrudge people deciding not to have kids at their wedding its your choice so do what you like - however, i honestly hate the patheticness of people calling kids "brats" and in one post referring to a child as "it"! Oh and not to forget the great line of "if I had kids I would/wouldn't.....".... its simple if you DON'T have kids, don't start to presume what you would or wouldn't do, because UNTIL you have kids you wont have an inkling or understanding of what it is to have kids, how you feel about them, what life is like finding a sitter etc etc. (and don't bloody start with the I have a cousin, nephew, sister etc etc! it ain't the same!)

There I feel better now, needed to get that off my chest.

Agreed, but by the same token it can quite easily be said that people with kids have completely forgotten what it's like to not have them and assume that everyone else will find children in general as interesting as they find their own offspring. I'm sorry and I love kids but as I don't have any of my own at the moment, I'm not that interested in having to worry about other peoples on the one day in my life where actually, it is all supposed to be about my fiance and I.

fawd1

And I forgot to add, most of the time it isn't even about whether or not the children will behave, it's about the fact that their parents won't make them. So maybe I should just invite the children and leave out the parents that think that "children should be allowed to be children" Since when did being a child include the right to be as rowdy, noisy, and out of control as possible. And I will use the "my cousin/nephew/friend etc" example here. I have babysat for a huge number of children, and even the rowdiest and naughtiest ones behave when they're given no alternative.

fawd1

flea72 wrote: »

How would you feel if your best friend said ok you can come to my wedding, but your partner must stay at home as he would spoil the ambience.

Flea

I think that if, like at the last wedding I was at, my partner decided to start screaming in the same way as this child did, "I want a potato" at the top of his lungs during the vows, I would entirely understand.

floss2

fawd1 wrote: »

I think that if, like at the last wedding I was at, my partner decided to start screaming in the same way as this child did, "I want a potato" at the top of his lungs during the vows, I would entirely understand.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Stephb1986_2

ok maybe "brat" is the wrong word how about a uncontrolable little animal that has no manners With parents that are on quiet life tablets and doesn't think that their kids need diciplin.

I know quite a few kids like it and no i dont have any of my own and if i did they wouldnt behave like most kids i know that have no manners!

Steph xx

si1965

It all depends what you want out of your wedding I think. At our wedding we had loads of kids and generally they were well behaved. Our wedding was treated as a celebration for all our family and friends, including their kids and our neices and nephews.

However all weddings are different and I may be out of touch but alot of weddings these days seem very expensive, formal, adult only affairs.

SUESMITH_2

~evanesco~ wrote: »

This is what we're doing. I have too big a family to invite them all to the day ceremony and reception, so no cousins + no kids, close friends and family and their children will be invited. The evening, I'm specifically inviting (as in written on the invites) the grown ups. I'm expecting phone calls that will ask about their kids, so I'm putting a note on the information cards that says something along the lines of 'we want you to help us celebrate without constantly watching your rugrats, so we'd appreciate it if you could find child care arrangements. If this isn't possible, in order for everyone to fully enjoy our day all children under 14 will be expected to be in their beds by 9.30'. Or something to that effect. We're thinking of booking a couple of rooms at the hotel for the kids, where the responsible 12 year old BM's can take the flower girls and have a mini sleep over type thing. The older BM, MoH and CBM are going to rotate checking on them, but after a long day I would imagine they'd be zonko'd by 10pm. Any idea's on this plan would be appriciated,

sorry to be a bit negative but i wouldnt be happy with a 12 year old looking after kids in a strange hotel room, what would happen if something went wrong? i doubt you would hear a mobile phone over the noise and as for people checking on them.....well things can happen very quickly

in answer to op you and your oh need to sit down with future fil and have a proper chat with him

si1965

Just as an aside, and this is a serious question which I don't know the answer to. How do Mediterranean countries like Spain and Italy cope with kids at weddings?. On my limited travels to Spain, they do seem far more inclusive to kids being with them during the evenings, but maybe I misread the situation?.