on low income - cant afford dentist - is this right?

lonestar1

Hmm I wonder if not having the cash is a half truth. I share his fear of dentists I have had 2 5 year gaps (and Im only 37) My current dentist is great (The one I had as a child was a butcher) but I know if they didnt book my next appointment/checkup whilst Im there I would always find a reason to put off making an appointment when it was due. (Im to polite to miss an appointment once made though) If you or any other family can I would offer to loan him the cash and maybe even offer to drive him there (No need to go in with them unless they ask but at least if you give him a lift he will go)

Make sure he goes though as living with toothache REALLY makes you grumpy (Well it did with me anyway)

Kai'sMummy

I cannot believe the judgemental attitude of SOME people on here, I only wanted a little help - sometimes when you have a problem you can't see the wood for the trees. The ideas like installment plans, dental colleges etc were all we were looking for, NOT to be called spongers and the rest!
I saw someone saying I should have put more detail in my original post and then maybe I wouldnt have received such comments......really? why? I didn't feel I had to give someones life story to be pointed in the right direction about nhs charges lol!!
So here goes, my boyfriend is a lovely, responsible and caring guy. He stays mostly at his moms as she is ill and his dad has emphysema (wrong spelling i am sure!). His irresponsible sister has had four boys and left them with her and my boyfriends mom to look after, so she can pursue a "single life" without the bother of bringing up kids! lovely! My b.f was working full time until recently when he had to scale down his hours as his mom is not coping well - she is the nan after all and should be enjoying these boys on a part time / visit at the weekend basis, not a full time mom again in her sixties. He took them out last week to buy them their new school uniform stuff - or as much as he could afford anyway. His mom and dad are retired so cash is tight (as with a lot of people i know). These kids come first with him, he feels guilty his sister has brought them into the world and left them to it, and does his best to make it up to them. And this is a guy who is being called a sponger!! Jeez, I know I didnt put this detail in my original post, but why the hell should I? I didn't want to be accused of "sob stories" or the like, and it was IRRELEVANT to the question. The reason he only spends 70 - 80 % of his time at his moms, and the rest at his brothers and friends is it gets too much sometimes and he needs a break! He does so much for his family, but he is a young guy who needs to get out every now and again and have a laugh with his mates. And the night out celebrating passing his test was the first in over six months - to the person who made him sound like a regular clubber with loads of cash for booze and taxis! He took that test after a lot of gentle persuasion (nagging) from me that it would improve his work opportunities as he seems to be in a lot of catch 22 circumstances with regard to money/work/housing etc and it isn't always easy to know what to do for the best.
I hope that this is enough detail to show he is no sponger / irresponsible spender or anything else he has been accused of.
And a big thank you to the level headed people who gave help without judgement, and spoke up for us.....
We are attending our local emergency dentist tonight, fingers crossed all will be well....he is a VERY nervous patient but I am sure he is in enough pain that he can see he has no choice....and yeah...dental pain does make him very grumpy lonestar 1 ....so he is not the only one suffering lol

dmg24

Does he really need to see the emergency dentist? If so, I am assuming that the pain has got much worse since yesterday?

Kai'sMummy

Does he really need to see the emergency dentist? If so, I am assuming that the pain has got much worse since yesterday?

Actually he doesnt have a dentist as he hasnt attended his own surgery in over three years they 'booted him off' the list :0)

Kai'sMummy

bestpud wrote: »

I think it is safe to assume he does this for a reason!

Jeez, he's working part time only and has £100 a week without any of the mundane responsibilities in life - not rocket science is it!

But I'm sure we will hear of all sorts of woes very shortly! :rolleyes:

Bestpud, I hope you read my reply, it's not rocket science, and luckier for the rest of us that you're not a rocket scientist! Why make assumptions? You don't even know the guy! And as for "all sorts of woes", what on earth has made you so jaded? Everyone has problems, but I didn't mention them until I got so fed up with reading replies like yours....He doesn't want (or need or deserve) sympathy, I just wanted some advice. Isn't that what these forums are all about? Not putting unhelpful, judgemental sarcastic comments on. Or am I completely wrong? :rolleyes:

dmg24

Kai'sMummy wrote: »

Does he really need to see the emergency dentist? If so, I am assuming that the pain has got much worse since yesterday?

Actually he doesnt have a dentist as he hasnt attended his own surgery in over three years they 'booted him off' the list :0)

Unless you are referring to the dental service that some NHS Direct Centres offer, the emergency dentist is not there to see people just because they do not have their own dentist. The clue is in the name - emergency.

Kai'sMummy

dmg24 wrote: »

Unless you are referring to the dental service that some NHS Direct Centres offer, the emergency dentist is not there to see people just because they do not have their own dentist. The clue is in the name - emergency.

I don't know what happens where you live, but in my town, if you don't have a dentist, there is a surgery - commonly reffered to as "the emergency dentist" that everyone goes to.....if you call any dentist in the town and can't get on their list, they tell you to go there......this is all I meant. Why the attitude? "the clue is in the name...blah blah"...I take it you want me to feel stupid? Well I'm sorry but I don't! We are going to the "emergency" dentist as we have an appointment, they know my b.f's situation and are happy to see him.

lonestar1

To all those of you who think he may not be an emergency case please consider how scared of dentists some of us are and then think about how much pain we must be in to actually go to one after such a long time.

Toothsmith

Kai'sMummy wrote: »

Hello everyone, my first post so please forgive me if I've done it wrong lol!
My boyfriend works exactly 16 hours a week and earns £100 gross - £98.99 net.
He doesnt live with me, he stops at friends, his moms, his brothers, basically anywhere he can as he is worried he cant afford his own place. Although he is on less than a lot of people I know on benefit, everything has been ok til now, however he has got MAJOR problems with his teeth (typical bloke scared of the dentist - hasnt been in over 3 yrs!). He applied for help with nhs costs, informing them of the £100 he earned, and yet it came back saying he wasnt entitled to any help (!!?) I just cant believe it as I dont pay due to being on income support - but I am on a similar amount of income to him. I dont have the form to hand, but from memory, he would have to pay about £15 for an initial appointment, and then between £45 to £90 for a treatment plan (please feel free to correct me on that one!). He is in great pain, and yet cant afford to get help as this sort of lump sum is unaffordable for him, and I am sure you cant pay dentists in installments!! Does anyone know if this is right? Is there any help out there or something he should be claiming which would mean he could get help with nhs costs?
Obviously, due to him being in pain, the sooner I can get this sorted for him the better!:huh:

Hi again KM.

This was your original post with the only two facts you gave us.

You ask at the end if there is something he should be claiming, but all we have to go on is that he's some young chap who only works possibly a couple of days a week, and seems to live with whoever'll have him that night.

I doubt is surprised anyone that there was no help available for him.

Now we have a bigger picture, and it would seem there are a lot more problems here than just his teeth.

Has he done anything about being recognised as a carer for his parents?

Are social services involved with this sister and her brood?

Who is the father/fathers of these children? Do they contribute to their upbringing?

There are probably lots of things that people here should be doing or claiming. You B/F is probably doing no-one any favours by trying to take it all on himself - least of all you/him and your relationship.

The money to get himself sorted out tooth wise is a priority, not a luxury. Then he needs to sit down and think where he needs to be heading, and what he needs to be doing.

Sometimes, it's worth just considering "What if I suddenly wasn't around anymore?"

The other siblings in that family would have to get off their behinds and do something then. maybe they should be given a practise run?

lonestar1

Toothsmith wrote: »

.......Sometimes, it's worth just considering "What if I suddenly wasn't around anymore?"

The other siblings in that family would have to get off their behinds and do something then. maybe they should be given a practise run?

Thats a pretty high risk strategy considering his sisters track record dont you think ? Sounds like he's doing the best he can for his sisters kids like you would hope any responsible uncle would. Im not saying he shouldnt encourage his sister to step up to task just that vanishing as a dry run isnt the best way to do it IMHO (His mum would probably try to take up the slack with who knows what further damage to her health)

Anyway we are getting of topic the OP wanted to know if they would get help paying the dentist's bill and whilst the background info helps with regards carers allowance possibility etc they didnt want to discuss those issue's directly