Depression Support Thread

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread pinkbubblegum and 98jdougl. :wave: I'm Anni.

My goodness, I feel so sorry for Sam, having to listen to my ramblings, but it's not often you actually find someone who can get inside your head and actually understand you. Most people just read something out of a textbook and try to apply it to me (and fail miserably :rotfl:).
I open up to Sam...a lot. More than I open up to Janette and my doctor. Heck, more than I open up to one of my best friends, which is slightly weird but she's being a bit uppity with me at the moment so not too worried about it. :rotfl: I mean, it's not my fault that she has this jealousy thing going on. Apparently Sam treats me better than her girlfriend treats her and Sam and I aren't even going out, but I don't see how that's my fault, so it's not fair that she takes it out on me, is it? Or is that just me who thinks that?

Anyway, spent pretty much the last few hours sobbing on MSN and making a right royal tit of myself, just pouring my heart out about things that I have never told anyone about before. Did he ridicule me? No. Judge me? No. Say it's nothing? No. You know what he did? He listened to me. He gave me virtual hugs and said that I am not unloveable like I have always been told. He said I am a loveable, caring, and a beautiful person and he loves me. Bless him!

In other news...*thinks* is there any other news? *thinks harder*. Oh, yes. My photography is going well. Practicing portraiture at the moment, and seeing as I am my only model, I have to practice on myself. Not necessarily a bad thing though. In the long run it might make me feel more comfortable with myself and not hate myself so much.

Three weeks until I see Sam! Woo! He's going to bring Saw for us to watch. =/ Now, I hate horror movies. I am a scaredy cat and hate gore and the like, but I don't mind if he's watching it with me. Any excuse to cuddle up to him! :rotfl: Haha. I said that to him, and he said "You don't need an excuse ). Hehe.

My goodness, I am so broody lately. My mother had me at 21, and most of my friends either have children, are pregnant, married, engaged, or in committed relationships. I'm not any of them.lol. I am still a singleton but all I can think about is children lately. I think my biological clock has started ticking a few years too early!

Has anybody here smelt the[FONT=Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/FONT]Yves Saint Laurent YSL Elle perfume? It smells so gorgeous! I'm not really big on perfume (unless it's my So...Sinful and So....Kiss me ones anyway ), but this one is lovely!

Haha. One of my friends the other day asked if I could make myself less intelligent as I am making her look thick! :rotfl:

Right, I have tipped my mind out again! Sorry lovelies.

AB - I am a busy bee at the moment but I haven't forgotten about the art piece. Just concentrating on my photography at the moment, but it will be with you.

xx

98jdougl

glad everyone is doing ok, I have really struggled to wake up this morning and i should be leaving soon for work but not quite dressed yet. I just won't be as early as usual but won't be late. I quite like work- is in a jewellery shop (like a grown up cheaper claires) so lots of pretty stuff and colours and due a delivery today which i extra love so hopefully that will keep me upbeat!
And then my roof is getting fixed tonight so ceiling will stop leaking which is aces.

hugs to everyone and hope you all have a good day

oh, am also going to pick up some vitamin D3 stuff today

LadyMorticia

I know the feeling 98jdougl! I set my alarm for 6am (even though my appointment isn't until 9am but I like to be organised) and I only just got up!
Mind you, I did go to bed at 3am.lol.

Ooo, I love jewellery shops! I love looking at all the unusual necklaces and beautiful colours.

xx

beachbeth

Hope everyone is ok this morning. Glad you have someone nice to talk to LadyM. Its lovely to have someone that understands.

LadyMorticia wrote:

Most people just read something out of a textbook and try to apply it to me (and fail miserably

I totally agree with this. I have had people apply their theories to my depression and Im left thinking "Well, thats not exactly right in my case".

Also, people without depression wonder why we tend to focus on past events. Well, its usually because its these events that have caused us to be how we are now! We need to work through these past events so that we can put them behind us once and for all. Its like expecting someone who was abused as a child to forget all about it, put it behind them and move on. You can't because you need to work through it first and make your peace with it. (I wasn't abused myself - im just using this as an example!)

Hugs to everyone that needs them. ((())) Sorry you are having this trouble, Shaz. I hate it when people put you down when they see you are happy. My own mum likes to knock you down if she sees that you are too happy -I don't think she even realises that she's doing it. Me and my siblings always act like we're in a bad mood when we go to see her because its the best way of not getting a sarky comment as soon as you see her!!! I can remember her saying to my younger brother once "Well, don't smile and say hello when you see me!" and he replied "I don't smile and say hello because you will just shoot me down in flames if I do!" and he was completely right. It was then that I realised that I never smiled and said hello when I saw her too! Isn't it strange the way we all behave without even realising it!

LadyMorticia

beachbeth wrote: »

Hope everyone is ok this morning. Glad you have someone nice to talk to LadyM. Its lovely to have someone that understands.

I totally agree with this. I have had people apply their theories to my depression and Im left thinking "Well, thats not exactly right in my case".

Also, people without depression wonder why we tend to focus on past events. Well, its usually because its these events that have caused us to be how we are now! We need to work through these past events so that we can put them behind us once and for all. Its like expecting someone who was abused as a child to forget all about it, put it behind them and move on. You can't because you need to work through it first and make your peace with it. (I wasn't abused myself - im just using this as an example!)

I was abused as a child and know this oh so well. 14 years of hell and people just expect me to forget about it. 7 years on, and I still can't. I'm working on it...and have been for the past 7 years after I was taken into care, but it's like everything is still fresh in my mind. Been in therapy for it, but at the time it wasn't right for me, but I'm being written off as "difficult" and "a lost cause" just because therapy didn't work when I had it a few years ago and I didn't fit into "textbook" criteria.
I sometimes would love the therapists to spend a little time in my head. After 5 minutes they'd be screaming to get out.lol.
I'm a "complex" person apparently, with regards to my mental health. Almost a little bit of everything apparently. :eek:

xx

xx

absolutebounder

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I was abused as a child and know this oh so well. 14 years of hell and people just expect me to forget about it. 7 years on, and I still can't. I'm working on it...and have been for the past 7 years after I was taken into care, but it's like everything is still fresh in my mind. Been in therapy for it, but at the time it wasn't right for me, but I'm being written off as "difficult" and "a lost cause" just because therapy didn't work when I had it a few years ago and I didn't fit into "textbook" criteria.
I sometimes would love the therapists to spend a little time in my head. After 5 minutes they'd be screaming to get out.lol.
I'm a "complex" person apparently, with regards to my mental health. Almost a little bit of everything apparently. :eek:

xx

xx

I see you as an interesting person rather than a complex one. I think there is bit of a mis understanding though with events of the past. Hopefully no one is actually saying forget the past. There is theory that the unconcious mind forgets nothing (misplaces it maybe but doesnt forget. Its in there somewhere). Besides if you conciously try to forget something you have to remember it first.
What I have said is dont live in the past not forget the past. We learn from past events but that is as much as we should do. What has happened has happened and you simply cannot change it so it is a waste of effort trying to. also you may be remembering the trauma but not be doing anything about an event that was triggered to come to the surface by the trauma.
Some time ago I did hypnotherapy on a woman who couldnt get on because she couldnt confront men. She told me she had been raped when she was 15. I did a regression and we went to a time when she was about 3 playing with her dad and he was doing something with her (all perfectly innocent)while playing that she hated but couldnt tell him because she loved him. She had not even thought about this event as she was focusing on the rape. In reality she knew the rape was a one off and very unlikely to happen now but she kept going back to it and in effect barking up the wrong tree. once she realised the true memory that was causing the problem closure was instant.
Focus on what you can do to live the life yopu want now (in the present)

pinkbubblegum

reading all this makes me feel like a tit...

you've all been through real issues which triggered depression

I just feel like im moaning about nothing

absolutebounder

pinkbubblegum wrote: »

reading all this makes me feel like a tit...

you've all been through real issues which triggered depression

I just feel like im moaning about nothing

Dont worry something will have triggered yours. just got to find that. A question I often ask is what would you be doing if you werent depressed?

LadyMorticia

absolutebounder wrote: »

I see you as an interesting person rather than a complex one. I think there is bit of a mis understanding though with events of the past. Hopefully no one is actually saying forget the past. There is theory that the unconcious mind forgets nothing (misplaces it maybe but doesnt forget. Its in there somewhere). Besides if you conciously try to forget something you have to remember it first.

I prefer interesting to complex. I think with me, I find it hard to talk about things and confront the past, but Janette says that talking and time is a great healer and maybe if I talked about everything, then it might unclutter my mind.

What I have said is dont live in the past not forget the past. We learn from past events but that is as much as we should do. What has happened has happened and you simply cannot change it so it is a waste of effort trying to. also you may be remembering the trauma but not be doing anything about an event that was triggered to come to the surface by the trauma.

I'm beginning to not live in the past now - somewhat anyway. I have broken of contact with my family...pretty much anyway, but there is so much that I still have to "get over" - things that no one knows about. I'm working on it. I've come along way in 21 years and been through a lot, and I'm sure I'll go through a lot more too but in a way it's all made me stronger. I'm not as weak and vulnerable as people think I am. I do have stamina - contrary to popular belief.

Some time ago I did hypnotherapy on a woman who couldnt get on because she couldnt confront men. She told me she had been raped when she was 15. I did a regression and we went to a time when she was about 3 playing with her dad and he was doing something with her (all perfectly innocent)while playing that she hated but couldnt tell him because she loved him. She had not even thought about this event as she was focusing on the rape. In reality she knew the rape was a one off and very unlikely to happen now but she kept going back to it and in effect barking up the wrong tree. once she realised the true memory that was causing the problem closure was instant.
Focus on what you can do to live the life yopu want now (in the present)

I did a regression when I was doing CAT with my old psychotherapist. It wasn't right for me at the time, but a lot has changed in a few years and I'm a lot stronger now, so who knows? What I do know though is that I will be damned if I'm going to let those who hurt me get the better of me. I know that I am a bigger and better person than them. I would never ever treat my children how I was treated. I am nothing like anyone of my family, and that is an achievement in itself.

LadyMorticia

So, the one day I manage to go out, I get soaked right through, a car splashes me on purpose, and I come home to find that the gas meter has "failed".

Oh, joy!