Confessions of a wasteful spendthrift turned tightfisted skinflint

Bargainfinder_3

Hello! I have finally plucked up the courage to start a thread of my own:D

I have been hovering over a few threads recently, and babbling on in them all so much, I figured I should start a debt free diary of my own, so that I can keep a record of my journey, and maybe entertain someone along the way:)

So, first of all, my story
I've always been 'okay' with money, spent what I had, hopeless at saving, occasionally dipping into an overdraft or credit card before my conscience smote me and I paid it off my scrimping for weeks (helped living at home!!)
I got married 2 years ago, and OH always took care of the finances, I worked part time earning £700 per month, and I said I would pay for food shopping, he everything else (he has a really good job). He would never talk to me about finances, but always bought me stuff, we went on holidays, takeaways 3 nights out of 7... deep down I wondered if we could afford it - but I was completley naieve about how much bills were, and so thought we could on his salary - we earned more than our parents ever had.

In March this year, we had a bust up when I opened his post and found out there was a credit card I had been giving him money to pay off, but he'd been spending on it.. after rowing for ages, and my mum coming round to 'mediate' we sat down and worked out he/we were in £18,000 worth of debt

Technically, he is the one in debt, but I should have seen the signs (unopened post, refusal to talk about money with me, constant spending) and also I should have taken more responsibility with things. I have been let down a lot in my life, so I guess I just wanted to trust someone with something. I also couldn't blame him, because he just cried and said he had just wanted to give me everything I wanted, and shower me with gifts... no excuse I know.

Anyway, long story short, after a few days off work sick and some really tough conversations with OH about how we were going to work as a team in the future, we decided to pull together and pay it off... we have a loan of £7500 which is a monthly outgoing, the rest is all on cards. I went full time at work, which is bringing in an extra £500 a month which is all going on the credit cards. Once we've paid off the cards, I'll have a look at the loan and see if I can get it reduced / paid off quicker? But I just dont have the energy at the moment.

We really want to move house and be able to afford to have a baby (Ive had 2 miscarriages), but I dont feel we can do either until we are debt free - so hence the debt free date of July 09/Dec 09, which is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment!!!!

Once we are debt free, OH is on a great income, so I plan on giving up work and becoming a housewife (even if I cant be a housemom:()

I am actually glad that all this has happened, because looking back, my spending habits were terrible, if I wanted it, I had it, whether I could afford it or not. I was letting money slip through my fingers and not even thinking about things like paying off the mortgage, pensions, savings, affording children. I was being a naeive wasteful spendthrift.
As a fellow mse said the other day, I am now a 'spendaholic turned scroogaholic' (thanks bluejeans!) My life has turned around, and my debt free journey starts now.

If you're not asleep by now - welcome to my thread!:T

Uniscots97

Welcome Bargainfinder!

Snaggles

Definitely not asleep!

It's really good that you are now able to be completely open with each other about your finances. Like you, a lot of 'my' debt was actually hubby's, but we decided that we would tackle them together, and I'm glad we did now.

Sorry about the miscarriages, that must have been horrible. I hope you get your wish to be a Mum once you are debt free.

Good luck getting the debt cleared as quickly as possible!

boredofbeingathome

Welcome to diary land..i hope you manage to achieve everything you want to do. It sounds like you are very motivated and that is always a good start. As for being a scrooge, i am so tight i can now split a penny and find change..all thanks to MSE.

Bargainfinder_3

So, here I am again, first thing in the morning, open post at work, and then write m'blog...

Yesterday I did something a bit silly... I went out with my 2 younger sisters for lunch, and as 1 only had her card and I had cash, I ended up paying.. which I dont mind AT ALL, however we then met up after I finished work and they went to New Look, and I found a top I liked (usually I just steel myself and walk past..) just as I was convincing myself I did NOT need it, sis offered to pay for it in return for lunch... so instead of her paying me back, I got a top... which was ok... but I should have just asked her for the money back Ahhhh well!

I spoke to DH last night, and financially we have £40 to last till I get paid tomorrow (£40 off the edge of the overdraft limit!!!!)... I think this is really bad, I mean we try to have a buffer of about £200 off the end of the overdraft; but it has been a really expensive month petrol wise, (DH commutes, we spend about £200 a month in petrol on a good month) and also we had to call a plumber in at the beginning of the month to sort out a drainage problem £180 for putting some stuff down a pipe:eek:

We have a good month coming up though, we had allocated money to pay off a card tomorrow, which I payed off with a bonus from work a month ago:T so this means we have extra in the bank... I toyed for a long time with the idea of paying loads off one of our cards, but came up with a few reasons why I should be able to spend it instead:

1) in October we are starting a new budget where we will overpay by £500 every month, and this is my last month with money to 'spare'
2)It was my bonus originally and I worked hard for it
3) My sisters want to go to a theme park the day after my birthday, and we hadn't got anything planned because of being mse'rs, so I figure I'm allowed to treat myself
4) When OH gets paid at the end of the month he gets another £130 in expenses, which my wages this month had already absorbed....

So... I am going to go to a theme park with my sisters for my birthday and enjoy every single 'bloomin' minute of it:rotfl: and I'm also going to treat myself to some new tops to take on holiday.

Note: If you have anything nice to say about this, then go ahead, love to hear from you... if you are a troll who is going to condemn me for spending my own money then go away, you smell, and I don't care what you think anyway :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

bluejeans

Hiya BF way to go, Well done you for starting a diary :j :j :j I will try and keep up with you by reading and posting. I tell you what, this site does keep me away from the fridge and the shops. Its very addictive, when I get involved in a new thread I just have to keep checking it. :rotfl: :rotfl:

Jo x

bluejeans

I have just read through you diary ( I love the title). Well done on both of you now doing finances together. OH is going to get involved more in our finances this month. He is very good with what little money he has (pocket money) and saves well out of it. So I think its time to get him on board. I have no doubt that whatever I give him to pay, he will pay it. Unlike me. Well Unlike "past me". OH was brought up in an orphanage, so he has very "black and white" views, no grey area's for him. Its yes or no or do or don't. Where all my life up to now has been al grey and blurry. OMG I am invading your diary and telling all of my stuff :eek:

Jo x

bluejeans

Your plan looks good to me. You really must go to theme park, Its your birthday. "All work and no play make jack and sad boy" ? Same with the Finances I think. If we don't treat ourselfs now and then, It will seem a longer road to travel ? I think we need to make are budget livable, if I do no incorporate in a little treat now and then, I know I would blow it and spend some money tagged for something else.

Jo x

Lula-Hula

Hello & welcome,

Not saying a word about you spending your money ( too busy trying to control my own spend demons :rolleyes: )

Sounds like you & DH have a good strong thing going & it must be very hard to be cross with someone who just want to shower you with gifts

Good luck on your journey & re the going out with sisters - it's got to be done, just not too often eh

lula x

Valley's_girl

Hi I hope you have a great birthday and have a good day at the theme park. I will enjoy reading your progress you sound very focused, and good luck to you both.
Love ally x

*Dee*

Hi BF

I dont normally post on here but i have some buy one ticket get another ticket free vouchers sitting on my fridge if you would like them for your birthday treat?

Dee
xx