ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

bigloser

Hello notriskfree - I see you only have one post too, so either you never posted on the Matched Betting Forum or, like me, you've opted for another alias. It does make me wonder just how many people have gone the same route as us - and how many current matched bettors are problem-gamblers but have not yet admitted it.

Well done for closing all your gambling accounts. I wish I had done that months ago when I first realised my problem. I stupidly didn't think I needed to close them, I thought I could summon up the strength to just not log on to them. I was wrong! So today I have closed two. I know two isn't enough, but they were the two I use (and lose at!) most often. I will close the others too.

Like you, my oh has no idea I gamble. He knew I did the matched betting, but at the time that was quite legitimate money-making. He thinks I have the casinos on the computer to take advantage of their occasional offers. It would ruin his life if he found out, so I am going to conquer this alone and he will never need to know....... Obviously he knows we are short of money, but he thinks it is because of the kids/hobbies etc and as I manage our money he doesn't particularly get involved. Just tightens his belt when asked! Aww, when I think about it, he is so lovely and doesn't deserve this. All the more reason for me to sort it, immediately.

cantcope

Welcome to both of you. I too was originally attracted to online casino's through the bonuses they were giving. It's so easy to get carried away and for me this turned into a chasing game if thats what you could call it. chasing my losses but then gambling away any winnings anyway. It certainly wasnt a fun game in the end. I couldnt sleep, was snappy, secretive, depressed and broke.

Posting on here is a great start and i hope you get the support and advice you need. I too changed my name when i posted about my debts years ago. A few years on and everyone close to me knows now anyway. its a great deterrent for me too as if i did win something what would i do with it? i couldnt spend it without raising suspicion so i'd have to gamble it...... reminds me of that old Ariston advert.

notriskfree

bigloser wrote: »

Hello notriskfree - I see you only have one post too, so either you never posted on the Matched Betting Forum or, like me, you've opted for another alias. It does make me wonder just how many people have gone the same route as us - and how many current matched bettors are problem-gamblers but have not yet admitted it. .

As I said exactly the same as you when I saw your post I thought I would take a new identity as I have also been around the boards for 5 years plus. I am sure there are other MB who have ended up like us but to be fair I used to do the bingo offers before MB thanks to Quidco but I never let myself loose more than £10 or £20 before stopping. Now I can blow £200 in 2 hours on slots. I am also the same as you if I am up I don't just cash out I keep going until its all gone. Really hate and so need to beat it. Well done on closing two accounts I think I have closed all of mine its just some says they will close it when you have not logged in for 60 days when send you free money after 30. Sucks which I why I must close my email accounts but not just yet. I have found playing games like farmville helps a bit as its free. My gambling is often down to being bored working from home. Not that my job is boring its busy but admin can be a drag.

All the best I shall be following you on here.

glenpud

Hi all

My story is basically i started matched betting, got greedy, started gambling small amounts. Started winning, thought it would carry on, up'd the stakes, occasionally won big, eventually lost bigger. I would get into debt, pay most of it off, and then lose it all again in an hours madness.

Since i had my first major loss 18 months ago i have been struggling. Sometimes i could be good and go 5-6 weeks without a bet, then i would ruin everything.
Then last friday, after the £20 bet for a few weeks, i blew £1k on 2 races (both horses came 2nd). So anyway, i am majorly disappointed with myself, and will pay off my ccard with my savings that i have, and have to lie to my gf about where the money has gone.

I know inside that i can do it, i just have to stay busy. As long as i am not on the computer alone i know that i wont gamble. So from now on it will be the gym after work, or walking to work so that i get home at the same time as my mrs.

Generally speaking i have always been good with money, and my only financial vice has been gambling. I work hard, and know i can/will pay off my debts. I just find it difficult having money and saving for a long term thing. I told my gf last year about my problem, and it was the hardest/best thing i did at the time. She doesnt know i still gamble (although i guess i think she does since we had a slight disagreement over money a couple of weeks back )

I do it all online, and I have often thought the easiest thing to do would be break/give away my laptop.

I am giving it one last attempt at stopping by myself, if not, then i will confess to her again, and hope she gives me a 3rd chance.

Good luck to everybody else, and reading this thread has helped me.
I am currently 3 days gamble free.

GP

notriskfree

Hi Glenpub thanks for posting your story sounds all so familar and I can see myself in the chasing the wins and getting lured in when you do win. Have to thought about something like K9 to on your laptop it did help me for a while.

I have not gambled since I posted on here last I have had the urge but not wasted any more money. Closed a couple of more accounts and unsubscribed from more emails so thats all good. The last account I opened (casino/bingo) lured in by an email I actually won and withdrew. I have just had an email to say my account has been closed as I had an account with their sister site and had asked to close that one. I don't think I will ever see the winnings and I knew that was a risk when I signed up for the new account just so stupid really why don't I ever learn.

Will be keeping myself busy today working from home and have tons to do then off the gym later on.

Take care everyone and stay strong.

cantcope

Well done notriskfree. Great to hear you havent gambled again

I can definitely recommend K9 (glenpud). Maybe just tell your girlfriend you want to know you cant gamble and get her to choose a password. If you are serious about stopping this wont be a problem to you. Eventually you WILL gamble again. You already said this would be your third chance so you've already proved that you Can't do it alone.
I havent gambled in over 4 years but there is no way i would not have k9 on my laptop. To me it just isnt worth the risk of having the opportunity there. To me, its like an alcoholic wandering around with a flask of whisky trying to convince him/herself that they wont drink it.

This is making you depressed, deceitful and broke. If you want it to get worse then i can recommend carrying on. I hope you choose the other route. x

GeorgeUK

Hi guys.

Still no gambling for me and i'm glad you recognise you have a problem. That's the first and most important part of moving forward. I had to work out issues of why i gambled before i could deal with it - gambling was a crutch that i would fall back on. I have worked out different coping mechanisms and now know when i am heading in a direction that may previously have led me to gamble, so i make a change.

I still quite often use freeonlinegames and addictinggames to purge. It's strange how you sometimes feel the need to relax while being completely focussed on something - and feeling the need to be able to achieve something.

I know gambling is not the answer to me and i have now gotten to the stage where i don't care how much i have lost. It's not important. It's what i do in the future that is important as i can influence that.

It was very hard when i started - well stopped. You know what i mean.
It's the habit that you need to break. When i got home i woudl often log into particular sites within minutes of turning on my computer. As i found to my cost, it is very important that you close all your gambling accounts as soon as possible. If you read my diary, you will see how keeping just one account open was enough for me to fall off the wagon.

You can send emails to the companies you have accounts with stating that you have a gambling problem and to please close your account and remove you from any mailing lists. There are still plenty of spam emails that come through but whether you close an account or not, that would happen.

Good luck with dealing with this and remember you can get through it. Once you break the initial habit it does get easier. You always need to be on guard so you don't slip up, but the 'need' reduces with time and you will feel stronger after a few months.

bigloser

Hi again, I am thrilled to say I haven't gambled since Saturday morning, which was when I had my lightbulb moment. Shame I didn't have it half an hour earlier, it would have saved me £100! I have kept myself very busy and not logged into the computer until now. As soon as I post this I am going to bed, out of harms way!

glenpud

Hello again all

Just want to say i still havent gambled, so on day 4 gamble free.
I paid off my credit card earlier after Fridays loss, and counted up all the gambling deposits i made on just this card...£22.3k in the past year!!
What a shock...its crazy when i think about it, and this doesnt include the items that i have paid through my normal bank account.

I guess Barclays are loving me due to the fees they collect on this.

Anyway, looking at this figure has made me realise just how stupid i have been.
I will look into this K9 now, i did start trying to install it once but never did quite manage it. Generally speaking though, I am feeling happy with things and positive. Kept busy last night by teaching a kickboxing class i had been asked to, and because it went really well it has made me even more happier. Lets hope it stays this way. :beer: Good luck everybody and thanks for the advice...

GP

bigloser

Another non-gamble day for me yesterday! I still want to log into a casion soooo badly...... Several people on here have mentioned needing an alternative way of passing the time when I would otherwise be gambling. I REALLY need that, and so I've decided to start a debt-free diary (which will be very boring and of no interest I'm sure to anyone else) and I will complete it daily in these early stages to get my feelings 'on paper' and , hopefully, as time goes by I will be able to look back on these feelings and see that they are fading. I am also going to focus on using this site to help me get to grips with my MASSIVE debts. That should give me something to be going on with!

Good luck to everyone else who is tackling this horrible problem, keep strong.