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ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

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  • maxco
    maxco Posts: 11 Forumite
    Hi everybody. This is my first post on the site, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I find this thread to be of a great help to me.

    My story is very similar to any other addict. I used gambling as an escape. Whenever I got stressed or depressed I would turn to gambling. It was all done online. I'm currently not gambling and hope to stay that way for a good while. If I ever "fall off the wagon" I'll post in this thread, but I hope to contribute whenever I can.

    I just wanted to ask people here: what do you do when you feel that gambling temptation "coming on"? How do you control the addiction? Is there anything that you guys have found that helps to distract you from the temptation of gambling? Something to replace gambling or maybe just writing down your thoughts?

    Thank you for taking the time to read. Stay strong. :smiley:
  • glenpud
    glenpud Posts: 79 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Posts
    Hi everybody, day 6 for me now...:T

    Maxco...whenever i felt the temptation coming on, i would gamble...thats how i was. I havent really been really overly tempted in the past 6 days, a few thoughts, but usually they would occur when i couldnt gamble. I have just kept busy and tried to stay away from the computer whenever i am alone and "have the chance" to gamble.

    I have found in the past that entering online competitions actually took a lot of my time up and helped me forget about gambling with the chance of receiving something at the end for my time. Occasionally you will win something, and it makes you happy!
    THEN YOU BECOME ADDICTED TO ENTERING ONLINE COMPETITIONS HAHA
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    I think we all need to realise that actually working hard for the things we get in life can be just as satisfying. I know you dont get the "highs" of a big win but you also dont get the devastating lows, depression, lies, sleepless nights, knots in your stomach etc

    When i first stopped and i got the "urge" to gamble i would remind myself of how i felt when i had to tell my friends and family what i'd done. I felt so ashamed, embarassed, humiliated. Now I can honestly say i am proud to admit i have a problem because i'm dealing with it and am almost 4 and a half years off (tomorrow).

    There is no shame admitting you have a problem when you can prove that you are doing something to address it. The shame comes when you admit you have a problem but arent willing to do whatever it takes to stop. I didnt want to go to GA. I was the only female there. But i stuck at it because i was among people who'd not gambled for over 20 years!!! 20 years! i couldnt imagine a day without gambling!! Now I go because i know it gives me the strength and encouragement to stay off.

    When new members come in it reminds me of where i was and where i dont want to go back.

    Keep strong everyone. One day at a time x
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • samorgo
    samorgo Posts: 81 Forumite
    Hi everyone,

    Sorry I haven't been on here in a while but I've been doing well... well sort of... not long after I posted I did have one last go to try and win back some of my losses and quel suprise I lost another £250... Whilst that is bad news in the meantime I have done 3 extra shifts at work to pay back what I lost and to put some more towards my debts and I have taken up online surveys. I had tried comping but the results aren't guaranteed so I'm trying surveying and am already well on my way to receiving some rewards! As Glenpud said though - you soon become addicted to something else....

    Finding this thread, combined with the change in weather and pay day has made me feel so much more positive and I now want a different life and am making steps to achieve it (this includes controlling my food addiction, tackling my laziness (and becoming more active) and reducing my debts). I just want to thank you all for such great support I still WANT to gamble but I now realise that I don't NEED to - hard work will get me out of this trouble not trying to win it back. It feels so nice to feel almost in control (I can't say completely) and to feel as though I am in charge of my life - only I can make decisions, choices and excuses - it's up to ME to make my life the life that I am proud of and that I want to live.

    I hope that each and every one of you can find this inner positivity and that if it starts to wane we can support each other. I genuinely believe I can do this and I believe that you can too...
    'Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts' DFW#1345
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Great post Samorgo. You are exactly right. Only YOU can change your life and decide what you will and wont do. Take back control. Once the fog of gambling disappears people realise that if they want something, anything, with hard work and determination you can get it. The difference is, once you've got it you'll keep it, rather than gambling it away.
    There is no win big enough for me now to make gambling worthwhile. I would lose my self respect, my sanity, self pride the trust of my family, my home, my job etc.... I have a good life now and i want to keep it that way and continue to improve myself as a human being.
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • Thanks for posting really encouraging to read and they make me understand that yes I do have a problem I want to gamble, win back my losses have the thrill when I win etc etc but I don't have to. I can stay strong and do other things. This week has been really good not felt like it once and sorted my money out mainly by balance transfer so now it just the hard work of repaying the debt back.

    Listed a load of stuff on Ebay today, decluttered the house, tidied up the garden loads to keep me busy and away from the PC.

    Thanks hope you are all have a nice weekend.
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Paying the debt back doesnt have to be hard work. Just pay what you can afford to. and just a little bit more.
    make the most of things that you enjoy that are free. a nice soak inthe bath, a sunday afternoon film, meeting up with family and friends just for a cuppa and a chat.

    I did loads of bootsales, ebay sales, sold loads of old jewellery as scrap. but actually i wish i'd kept some of that stuff as now i realise it wouldnt have hurt to take an extra 6 months to clear my debt. so its an extra 6 months... so what. if i'd carried on gambling it would have been an extra 6 years!

    life is for living, well x
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • Hello again - Its been over 4 months now since 'hitting the wall' moment. Sorry for not posting over past few months but at times reading this site makes me think more about gambling, so have avoided it. Kinda keeping my head down until the worst is over. I have stayed strong (so far) and feel up to this point that the first fortnight was unquestionably the hardest part of the journey. After that i found another hobby, to allow me to mentally escape the gambling demons. I still spend days at home (too many) when i've wanted to go into town because i haven't been able to trust my strength of willpower to allow me to walk past bookmakers. I'm hoping this will get better, sooner rather than later. The blocks on my pc are a real blessing.

    I have also stopped watching the horse racing on sat afternoons, trying to focus on something else. Reading some of the recent posts, I wish you all the best in beating this but i have to say, for me, it has been hell. It is getting v slowly easier each successful day that passes but i know that 1 single bet no matter how low the stake or even if its a free bonus etc will destroy everything i've had to undergo to get this far and i'm not sure if i'd have the strength of mind to ever get this far again - v scary and yet a surprisingly strong barrier to help prevent me placing that first bet. Good luck to you all, you're not alone in this fight but ultimately its only you that can overcome this addiction, so be true to yourself.
    "Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them"
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Hi Hamsterwheel. 4 months!!! thats excellent!!! you should be really proud of yourself. Nobody said it would be easy and there are no quick fixes or substitutes. It's not like a nicotine patch or methadone thats available as a substitute for those addictions. This is pure willpower, with a little help from things we can put in place (like the pc blocks).
    I find it pretty easy now but i'm way down the line. My first year was definitely the most difficult
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • maxco
    maxco Posts: 11 Forumite
    edited 30 March 2011 at 11:48PM
    Hello again - Its been over 4 months now since 'hitting the wall' moment. Sorry for not posting over past few months but at times reading this site makes me think more about gambling, so have avoided it. Kinda keeping my head down until the worst is over. I have stayed strong (so far) and feel up to this point that the first fortnight was unquestionably the hardest part of the journey. After that i found another hobby, to allow me to mentally escape the gambling demons. I still spend days at home (too many) when i've wanted to go into town because i haven't been able to trust my strength of willpower to allow me to walk past bookmakers. I'm hoping this will get better, sooner rather than later. The blocks on my pc are a real blessing.

    I have also stopped watching the horse racing on sat afternoons, trying to focus on something else. Reading some of the recent posts, I wish you all the best in beating this but i have to say, for me, it has been hell. It is getting v slowly easier each successful day that passes but i know that 1 single bet no matter how low the stake or even if its a free bonus etc will destroy everything i've had to undergo to get this far and i'm not sure if i'd have the strength of mind to ever get this far again - v scary and yet a surprisingly strong barrier to help prevent me placing that first bet. Good luck to you all, you're not alone in this fight but ultimately its only you that can overcome this addiction, so be true to yourself.

    Good post Hamsterwheel. 4 months is a brilliant achievement. Sorry to say that I'm nowhere near as strong as you in beating this addiction, but posts like yours keep me motivated.
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