ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Morning all.

Madone, if you have nobody to look after your finances its time to put a block on your PC. If you are serious about stopping you'll WANT to do this.

misskaytee

Morning all

Its looking like another beautiful day here, lots of lovely sunshine :T

On the Not gambling front...
My overdraft is very slowly getting some cash in it, been living at the bottom of a £2500 overdraft for so long now it seems the norm

Im not talking mega money, proberly about £150 "spare" overdraft money, This is a big step for me, when i was gambling this would become gambling monies, but its been sitting there quite happily

The vast majority of the cash going into my account, is soon DD right back out, so its taken a long time to get just that £150 to build up.

Only £2350 to go :cool:, it seems like it will take forever to pay back, i could work at it more and go without a bit more, but after living under such a dark cloud for so long ( see my other posts ) im trying to live a little for my kids sake aswel as my own, not big things just trips to the pictures, or pizza now and again.

Its taking a while to readjust, and sort out my finances, the head in sand method doesn't work out well in the long term!

Just thought id pop by and share

misskaytee

Hi Madone,
I know its tough when you first try and stop, often we get tempted back, When i was gambling online for a very long time i was just manic, i realised i had a problem and tried to control it by putting deposit limits on accounts, only play with FREE money ect, IT DOESN'T WORK!

You need to stop altogether. Gamblers are optimists, we always think we are the next big winners,BUT we dont ever win, because while theres money in the account we dont stop until its all gone.

The last time i gambled i won, i deposited a sneeky £50 (just for old times sake) i gambled on bingo and side games, i got my account upto £800+ at one point, but couldn't stop, and there was no way i was going to quit while i was on a winning streak !! i kept telling myself i'll withdraw if i lose and account goes down to £700, then it was £500, then it was i'll definatly withdraw if it goes below £450, and so on!!!

When youv'e finished reading this, do yourself a favour and buy a gambling block for yourself, it will be the best present to yourself ever! :T I think i right in saying, you said you'd struggle once you got paid at the end of the month, well thats just around the corner now, You can see whats coming, You will end up gambling if you dont protect yourself, it will be the, "for old times sake" The "last one before i quit" gamble....ive had plenty of those.

I wish you all the best, and hope you do find the strength to put a block on, its something thats so easy to do, but also so very hard, i understand that, but you'll feel 100% better once its on, i promise!

maxco

Hi everyone. I thought I would just pop in and say hello. There has been great advice, as always, in the last few posts. I've got to admit that despite having the addiction under control (for now) I'm still finding it extremely difficult to find anything which replaces that "feeling". We've all experienced it. Whether it's the joy of winning a nice amount of money or just the thrill of putting your money on the line, that feeling is difficult to match.

Anyway, stay strong guys. Keep up the good work!!!

dark_angel_2002

Thought I would come on and see if anyone can help me I am 33 there is me and dd who is 8 yrs I have let her down again she didnt get to go out today as I sat and blew all the money again. I am £4000 in debt with my mum and finally facing up to the fact that I have lost £7600 ish this year so have decided I am an idiot and really need to sort this. Just sounding off for now I am booked in the GA on Tuesday after work so I am hoping they will give me some good advice

cantcope

Hi Dark angel and welcome to the thread. Firstly, you are not an idiot. You have an addiction. they have very different meanings. Getting to GA is a great step, make sure you go, listen as much as you can (it can seem overwhelming to start with) then if you are given an opportunity to speak, i'd advise taking it. get everything off your chest. i promise you'll feel better for it. The people in that room will understand exactly why you did it and they will not judge, criticse just advise and try to help you.
I've been going to GA for almost 5 years and for the first 3 i was the only female which was VERY daunting. but i stuck at it because i knew i couldnt stop on my own. If you want to know what to expect feel free to PM me and i'll talk to you away from the thread if you want x

well done on admitting you have a problem. thats a LOT of money to lose in a year. some people have lost less, some more. the fact is, the amount of money is irrelevant. if you can't afford it, its too much.

I'd advise giving your mum a call too and asking her to pop over to see you. she can't help or support you properly until she knows you have a problem xx

Jimby509

Thought I would drop in and see how this thread is doing, it has been a great help to me in the past.

Darkangel... Well done on planing going to GA, it is a great step you are taking. I realise this time can be hellish as you go over in your mind how much you lost and its implications, but dont torment yourself. You are clearly concious of your problem and you are going the right way to get it sorted.

Is it online gambling that is the problem? If so I would really encourage you to get an internet block that stops gambling sites. I use one, it cost about £25, I estimate is has saved me about £5000 in what I would have spent gambling over the past 8 months.

There are many ways of beating this and getting things back on track. J

dark_angel_2002

I have told my mum everything and also dd (I know a lot of ppl will think shes too young to know) and my mum went mental but is going to have dd while I go to GA dd put software on laptop and has told me she still loves me and will help me and if i feel like i want to gamble she will give me a hug instead that means more to me than £10000000000's I am dreading going to GA but will do this for my little girl she is my world and I have let her down for the last ever time I swear. The stress is going to kill me soon if I carry on like this. I still have no money in the bank until Tuesday and then I will be £100 down which I owe the bank.

cantcope

Great news about your Mum. They are the best arent they?
Don't do it for your daughter, do it for yourself. Everyone around you will benefit if you concentrate on making yourself feel better.
it wont work doing it for someone else it has to be for you. Sounds harsh i know, but its true.

Going to GA for the first time will be nervewracking but i promise you will be made to feel very welcome and as a new member you should be given lots of advice and support. Take someone's phone number and call them during the week. even if you are doing ok not betting they will be there to answer any questions you might have etc

Giving up gambling is a one day at a time thing. dont look too far ahead and tell yourself "just for today i will not gamble". its easier doing it one day at a time x
let us all know how you are doing and how your first meeting goes x

Madone13

I thought I'd pop in and say hello - I hope everyone had a great bank holiday weekend.

I've not gambled on anything since my last post so pretty happy about that. The good weather and my love of cycling have helped as its helped to give me something else to have my mind on.

DarkAngel - Good luck with GA - its certainly a very brave first step and I really hope it helps you. As Cantcope says above let us know how you get on.

Finally I get paid on Thursday - looking forward to it so it so I can really start on the long road to paying back all of the money I owe various institutions. I've done some budgeting and reckon that I can be debt free by March 2012 - but one day at a time as theres one thing for certain I won't be debt free by March 2020 let alone March 2012 if I keep gambling.