ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Savetime

Thanks for the replies and the kind words. My partner finished work early so we could sit down and work out what to do. Made me feel worse cos he blamed himself for not being stricter with me after my last 'slip up'. Feels incredibly liberating to be talking about this so freely on here when i've kept my problem to myself for so long and i guess that's why its gone on as long as it has because i've fooled him and my family into thinking i could cope on my own etc so nobody attempted to intervene.

Not saying they should bear any responsibility of course as its all my doing i know. Its just when left to my own devices that evil voice in my head says 'come on you can win it all back and more' or 'of course we dont have a problem like others do'. How rude of that voice to fool me when i'm feeling weak lol. I've also called my parents to let them know how i'm doing. They have always been the ones to bail me out of trouble but they thought i was a typical girly over-spender (shoes, clothes etc) so got a bit of a shock when i told them where all their hard earned money has been going over the last 2 years (cue sickening feeling). They were brilliant and my dad even confessed to having a problem years ago and that he beat the bug with the help of my mum. So i'm hoping with the support of my loving partner and parents, and the continued encouragement from everyone on this thread- i can do it.

Partner is researching gamblock and that should be up and running before the day is out. I feel relieved that i wont feel the need to stay up late an chase losses. I gota get my money the old fashioned way- earn it. How crazy that i just realised that?!

Hows everyone else doing? How'd the meeting go cc? You are a real inspiration to me (no pressure). I always thought gamblers were men (no offence fellas). It was so comforting (maybe wrong word) to learn that other women have fallen into the trap and i now know recovery is a real possibiltiy.

Samorgo you really sound like you've got it together. I know exactly what you mean bout not revealing the true extent of the debt. I've been there and it weighs heavy on your shoulders if you don't have the means to clear the true debt. When i finally told my partner the 'whole' story i felt sooo much better. Ashamed but better. Wishing you well.

Miss kaytee you've done so well to be gamble free since jan. I guess we have to accept the thoughts/urges are always guna be with us and will strike at various times to test us. Let's hope we pass. Please keep posting i'm really encouraged following your progress.

Feel so positive today. Thanks to everyone!

Madone13

Good evening everyone, Savetime well done on posting I'm sure you'll find everyone on this thread very supportive, I know its been a real help for me. I've only just started on the long road to recovery but so far things have been improving, in fact since April 7th I've only had one moment of weakness.

I've also found that outside of gambling my spending habits have also been pretty terrible - I either found myself on a hotstreak and so thinking I could waste money on silly things or completely broke. Never a happy medium which meant I was never able to start dealing with any debts. And whilst my spending over the last month hasn't been always as tight as it could of been its certainly improved. By better budgeting I've eliminated some of the want of gambling as I'm not constantly worried about how I am going to pay for everything.

Samorgo - Glad you had a good holiday!!

cantcope

Great posts guys. I never made it my meeting. Massive row with husband to be drove to the meeting then just turned around and came home again. shattered this morning. i think we've sorted it out. for once it actually wasnt my fault! hurrah!!
off to work soon. I am helping him sort out his own debt problems and its all getting a bit too much to handle 9 weeks before our wedding. I guess I'm not superwoman and never professed to be. Just a shame he thinks i am. dont know whether to laugh at that or cry.

oh well. its done now. time to move on, today is another day. we know we love each other and thats enough for now

riquelme

HI CC, and hello everyone else,

CC, hang in there, plenty of ups and downs in a relationship youve got through worse situations so stay strong.

Me, well im seriously skint going to have to make quite a few changes relating to phone, internet, television. Went about a week without buying food the other week except for bread and milk so was able to send kids to school with a lunch. Im in the same situation this month as im about £120 down a month due to new working conditions and nearly getting sacked. Its tough as i still have 16k worth of debt and a few niggles with the car to sort. So given the climate its been tempting to gamble luckily i have resisted so far and feel that im not that close to it although i will keep on my toes.

sorry to post negative stuff and apologies i havent posted for a while but even through this adversity its possible to not turn to gambling to solve my problems

stay strong people

cantcope

re-read your post Riq. and see the positives in it. You havennt gambled!!! you didnt get the sack!!! you managed to send your kids to school with lunch!!! your debt isnt growing!!!!

all good to me

samorgo

Hi everyone

Well done everyone for not gambling, for seeing our ways and trying to change it. Today has been really hard for me I don't know why but I woke up wondering if I should have a little go to see if I can win some money to ease some of the pressures that I'm feeling...

I say I don't know why but I'm sure the following are related - my holiday has come to an end and I'm back to work Saturday, my mum (who lives 300 miles away) has gone home this morning after being on holiday with us, I'm feeling extremely fat (having put a stone on in weight whilst on holiday!) and I've been looking at my debts...

All in all several reasons to want to gamble but instead of sitting on the sofa clicking on my laptop all day making my life worse I have been keeping myself busy. I've just come off the treadmill having burnt 400cals, I've joined an online slimming support group, I've done a new budget (to suit the new me) and I keep thinking about what someone said on here some time ago - I'm going to take it one day at a time and my aim today is not to gamble today...

So far today I haven't given into the demons and having done something to feel better about myself the urge is starting to subside...

Whilst on waking this morning I thought it was going to be a bad day but it's actually a good day - over half way through and haven't gambled, eaten sensibly and exercised and tried to get my life in order.

Keep positive everyone - we can do this - one day at a time...

cantcope

Well done Samorgo Great positive post
Just for today I will not gamble (it's something we say at GA).... just for today....i will be happy......just for today.... i will learn somethiing useful.........

have a great gamble free day everyone x

samorgo

Thanks for your support CC.

I just came on here this morning to report that the one day at a time approach really does work. Yesterday was really difficult and I thought I would HAVE to gamble as it was always in my thoughts but I kept myself busy and the good news is I didn't give in and I made it through the day without gambling - yipee!!!

Today I have woken up feeling much better and don't even have the urge to waste my money - one day at a time...

Have a great day x

Madone13

Samorgo I know exactly how you feel, for some reason this week has been really tough for me, But as you say 1 day at a time. I was feeling pretty tempted last night but came and read a bit of this thread which helped me through. And you're right about exercise its a great way to get out and take your mind off other things.

I hope everyone has a great gamble free weekend.

samorgo

Well done madone for resisting - I know how difficult it is but I hope today is a better day and the urge is subsiding. Keep reminding yourself how well you've done for not having given in already and if you ever need support remember we're all here for you...

One day at a time guys...

Enjoy your weekend x