ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Everyone can have a great life without gambling. Once you admit to yourself you have a problem and really (and i mean really without a shadow of a doubt) want to stop, then you can. with barriers in place and people supporting you (even if its just this thread) then you can get your life back to normality.
I doubt i am in alone in saying i really wanted to stop a few times before i actually REALLY wanted to stop...

Keep strong everyone. Control your own destiny, don't let gambling control you

misskaytee

Hi Samorgo,

Maxco is right, we all have the same story to tell, unfortunatly the ending is always the same

Well done for closing the accounts, see my post above for other ideas that helped me.

Cantcope is so right, it doesn't matter even if we win a large amount, we'd only increase the stakes and lose it all again.

I found it almost impossible to withdraw any winnings, in all my time gambling i think i only ever actually withdrew £1500 :mad: and that was soon redeposited.

Gamblers like us never win a penny, its only ever a loan, with stupid rates of interest!!

samorgo

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your kind words. After the hellish way I was feeling last night I never thought I'd feel the way I do this morning - I actually feel as though I should give it one more go to try and win back the money I need but I am rationalising it and realise that there is only one certainty with gambling - I'll end up worse off...

I think the 'want' to gamble originates from the worry of where I am going to get the money from but instead of just clicking the mouse in a monotonous fashion I am going to switch off the computer and get busy. If I can stay this strong for five more days I'm then off on holiday for three weeks and hopefully by the time I get back the pull to gamble will have eased at least. I am really worried about Friday though when the bonuses are released - whilst my account is closed my husband's is still active and I am worried that I might be tempted to try and get at least some of my money back but I pray that I can stay strong.

I'll be back over the next few days to keep you updated but otherwise the computer will be off so don't be concerned if I don't post for a while but I promise I will post before Sunday with what I am sure will be good news!

Thanks for your support once more and all the best x

samorgo

Hi everyone,

It's coming towards the end of the first day and although I was really tempted to have a go this morning instead I paid £100 off my credit card and since then I have lost the craving. I now realise how long and challenging this road is going to be but I feel strong at the moment and have learnt my lesson.

Thanks for your support x

cantcope

Great news samorgo. This is a one day at a time thing. Just for today i will not gamble. If you think too far ahead it can seem daunting.
Hope you got through to this morning without a bet.
I know my day yesterday would never have happened had i carried on gambling. After work i went shopping with my fiance, we had our feet nibbled at by the fish in the new fangled place near us, then we came home, watched tv and slept.
this may sound normal, but to me when i was gambling it would have gone like this....
after work, get home, turn laptop on, gamble until all money gone, sit on laptop hoping to "win" one of the chat quizzes going on down the side of the screen so i could get £5 to play with, undoubtebtly win one, win lots of money, carry on gambling, win? lose? doesnt really matter, smoke, gamble, smoke, gamble, brush teeth go to work......and so on.

i love my life now.

Madone13

Evening all, thanks for the kind messages of support - I've read through a bit of this thread and can relate to almost everything everyone has said.

I'm still managing to stay away from having a bet - but as I'm sure alot of your are aware its much easier when you've not got much money - its after payday that it'll really get tough.

Samorgo - I really feel for you and like others have said I'm sure alot of us have been there. I'm not really in a place to offer to much more advice as it would be a bit hypocritical of me but good luck!!

cantcope

Morning Madone.
Is there anyone at home or nearby that you trust to looking after your finances? If you have no access to them it makes quitting even easier. I didnt do this but had blocks on my computer and i wasnt interested in going anywhere outside to have a bet... mine was a solitary escape but i know people who hand their finances over to wife/husband/parents/trusted friend who say having little or no money each day (how much cash do we REALLY need on a daily basis) and no cards in their wallets made it so much easier to quit.
Hope everyone has a great bet free day.

samorgo

HI everyone,

Thanks once again for all your messages of support I am still gamble free since 12/04/11 (a date I shall never forget). There are times when I think about it and wonder if one last bet would solve my debt issue but then I ground myself - I take my head out of the clouds and remind myself that it was gambling that got me into debt in the first place!

Whilst avoiding gambling hasn't been too bad, the last few days have been hellish emotionally. My husband has come home after being away for 6 weeks and I have really been struggling with not telling him especially when his dad asked for £500 back from the money he asked us to look after (that put me in an awkward position but I 'found' it - luckily!)... Yesterday he knew something was up because I just wasn't acting my normal self so in the end I did tell him about losing and how rubbish I felt and how I never wanted to lose control like that again - he's even offered to change the password, close the account or put a block on - I can't believe it. I want to tell him the whole truth (about how much I have actually lost not just £1k like I told him) but I don't want it to spoil our holiday - so for now a partial declaration seems an adequate compromise.

Having told my husband and my mum it's given me more stength to beat this and not to give in - I hope each and everyone of you (especially those lurking in the shadows!) find your own motivations and that we can all live our lives in a way that we like (feet nibbling fish sound fantastic to me - maybe in a couple of months when some of the debt has gone!).

Keep battling because you can win - and win for you not the bookies...

I shalln't be on here for a few weeks now as off on holiday tomorrow but hope you all stay strong and keep supporting each other cause it's fantastic x

cantcope

Enjoy your holiday. You may find once you relax a bit you'll tell the whole truth anyway. I promise you that while it may cause upset it will clear the load from your shoulders x

Madone13

I hope everyone had a good weekend - I had a slip up on Friday night going for a "risk free" tenner on Willhill and it almost went disastrously wrong as I lost that and kept betting (I ended up winning the money back but that's not the point), I was furious with myself afterwards but it meant that I didn't go near having a bet for the rest of the weekend.

Cantcope - thanks for the advice regarding having someone else take charge of my finances. There isn't anyone right now although I do have a bank account for which I only have a cash card - moving my money into this account might help as it would stop me gambling on the internet (whilst I have used betting shops its traditionally been internet betting that has been my major downfall).