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ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

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  • Thanks guys - feel quite proud when i think about it now - i know its only the start but i've been beating myself up about it so long, i forgot to think that i'm actually achieving something i didn't think myself capable of. Big smile today :)
    "Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them"
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Thats good to hear :D
    Think of how far you've come in 4 months!!! I'm just guessing but i imagine you are sleeping much better, are treating people around you better, fewer lies?
    You'll come to realise that you havent just stopped gambling, you've changed lots of other things without even realiing. All for the better.
    Be proud xx
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • Thankyou for your advice, helped me a lot.
    Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam
  • misskaytee
    misskaytee Posts: 738 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I just thought i'd pop in on the eve of the grand national, Stay strong and focus everyone :D

    Im not one for the gee gees, but got to thinking about them today.
    I visited a friend and they were all excited about the grand national, they were even telling the kids aged 7 & 9 to pick a horse and are putting a bet on for them!!..... All innocent fun...or is it? what do you all think?



    My online gambling has stopped altogether, and its very rare that i even think about it now, i closed all my accounts and changed my Email addy so i don't get tempted by constant offers!

    I do however buy scratch cards from shops, i dont spend anywhere close to what i did when gambling online, but have noticed im buying them more often than when i was gambling online.... THIS I WILL STOP DOING!
    I dont feel the same urge to go and buy a card, has i did with gambling online, its kinda more of a habit & i'll buy one if im buying something else and they sell them at that shop , If that makes any sense ?? Anyway, im aware of the increased purchases and feel ive acknowledge it could become a problem, so im going to stop buying them! simple :)
    Everyday im shufflin':dance: Proud Padder ~ All Hail The Power of Pad
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    well done for realising that this has to stop. Unfortunately, for me, i know i cant gamble on ANYTHING. If i won a lot on a scratch card it would only be a matter of time before i gambled online. Are you going to the shop more often too? If you are then perhaps go to a different shop
    Great news about your online gambling.

    Be proud xx
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • Madone13
    Madone13 Posts: 116 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hi all, I've just been directed to this thread - For a few years now I've known I have gambling problem and have only ever made a token effort to kick it. I've racked up far too much debt and must have spent many £1000s beyond that. Its impacted my whole life and caused me so much misery but still I've always kept banging my head against the brick wall that is gambling.

    The hardest part I'm having at the moment is not being tempted back by "risk free" offers - I know that if I just do the offer its risk free and so in my mind I think, ok I'll just do that. But it never stops there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  • misskaytee
    misskaytee Posts: 738 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hi Malone,
    Welcome and Thanks for joining us :T

    I think a lot of us get tempted by the free offers, especially on this site has they seem to be posted on lots of different messege boards and you can just stumble across them :(

    These free offers are a marketing ploy, no company is going to just give away free money, thats the thing to remember, they know that a large %of those taking up the freebie will go on to spend real cash on their sites, and thats what they are banking on when they do these offers :mad:

    My thousands (:() of pounds spent on online gambling over the last 3 years or so, all started with a free £5 offer....

    The last 3 years for me have been awful, i became hooked very quickly, spent all my money gambling including a 21 grand inheritance (in less than 3 months :eek:) I have had a dark cloud hanging over me for such a long time, at my lowest i often thought about killing myself, it was only the guilt of leaving my two kids that stopped me.

    I started reading this thread a long time before i ever posted on it, it slowly helped me realise that i wasn't alone in the way i felt the urge to gamble, my partner and family know im a gambler but don't understand how or why i could continue gambling when it made me feel so soooo low.

    I think if i had of told them about that little nagging voice you get in your head, telling you to "do it", "go on just this last time" they would of had me sectioned!!

    I finally stopped by closing all my accounts, one day i was feeling really strong about beating this addiction and i logged into all my favorite sites and closed all my accounts via the live help most site have, if you've never tried to close an account before i can tell you most site don't make it easy to find out how to close them, often they say you have to phone up, or email them all your details, this put me off for a long time!! i decided to try by requesting it closed via live help and they did do it there and then :) Thankfully!

    I also created a new Email account, so it was clean of offers.
    I told my bank i'd lost my purse, so all my cards got cancelled & replaced, my old cards were registered all over the bloody place!!

    Some here use a programme called K9 that blocks gambling sites, but this really needs to be installed by someone other than yourself, its password based, and will only protect you from gambling if its installed on the PC'S you have access to, if you are able to get it installed, it does work very well, and its FREE.

    Thats turned into a longer post than i'd planned!! :rotfl:I hope it helps some, Keep posting and have a good read over the previous messeges, were all in this together and have an understanding. TC
    Everyday im shufflin':dance: Proud Padder ~ All Hail The Power of Pad
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Great post Misskaytee. Glad K9 is working for you too.
    Welcome to the thread Madone. Well done for finally posting. You'll find people on here who know exactly how you feel because we've been there, done it, got the t-shirt and together we are all trying to recover from the misery its caused us.
    K9 is a great start if you have someone to put a password on for you. If not, close all of your accounts, and as soon as you have some money (about £40 i think) clear your cookies and download Gamblock. Its a yearly subscription that does the same as K9 but you dont need a password set.

    Hate to read and run so had to post. Good luck. x
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • samorgo
    samorgo Posts: 81 Forumite
    Hi everyone,

    I have a confession... I haven't been on here in a while as I have been back on the online sites... Whilst I did win I also lost and am now £2500 down on where I was just 24 hours ago...

    It's a scary and lonely place to be mentally when at midnight you can't sleep thinking about what you have done and how you're going to make things better. All I can say is that that was the last time - April 12th 2011 will be the date I remember as my last ever gamble... I've already closed my accounts and deleted the sites from my internet.

    For months I have been trying to make quick easy money from gambling and learnt the hard way that it doesn't work. I need to 'find' (and I mean earn) £3000 over the next few months to pay back my father in law who gave me the money to look after so he wouldnt spend it - if only he knew that I would flitter it away - I'm so disguisted and embarressed in myself.

    I have confessed to my mum that I have lost money recently but could only confess to £1k as I knew she would offer to help me even though she is in no position to do so (pensioner with no savings). As for my husband - well I'm just too embaressed... I am going to work hard over the next few months to try and straighten things out (without the 'help' of a certain well known online bingo site!) and if I have to tell him at some point then I will but I'm so afraid of what he'll think of me - I know he loves me but how can he continue to love somebody who has lied (although not outright - by admission) and squandered our hard earnt money?

    This is so hard for me to write but I genuinely believe this is rock bottom and although I hate how I feel now your postings on here are giving me strength to know that this can be beaten...

    I feel dreadful but hopefully the way forward is much brighter than the darkness of the depths I feel I have reached today. I promise to you all that this is it - no more stupidity - no more believing that another £50 is going to solve all my problems. With hard work and constraint I can meet my debt free wannabe date of Christmas 2014 so I must keep my eyes on that prize not the unrealistic hope of winning enough to clear the debts that have mostly arisen from gambling over the years.

    Finally I feel much better having been able to express my feelings openly on here - it helps that you are strangers but also that I know you won't judge me and that you understand. I know promises are easily made and easily broken but April 2011 will be the last bank statement I have that contains mostly gambling transactions. 12/04/11 (my last day of gambling) has gone and 13/04/11 is the start of new things for me. I will keep you informed of my progress and hope that you all will continue to support and inspire me.

    God bless you all x
    'Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts' DFW#1345
  • maxco
    maxco Posts: 11 Forumite
    Hi Samorgo,

    I'm afraid your story is a very familiar one to me and probably a lot of people here. I can relate to winning some money, only to then lose it all, plus more from my bank account because I go "chasing". What then follows is psychological hell as you try to resist the temptation to gamble and you have to deal with day to day life while feeling really down. But the good news is that if you can stay strong and get over these next few weeks, things will feel better.

    It's great that you have a target to aim for as well. That should keep you focused on your goal to stay free from gambling. Keep on going and post back in here if you ever feel tempted. I know that a lot of people including myself regular check this thread and there will always be plenty of support.
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