ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

elodieb9

erdd2 wrote: »

By sheer coincidence we posted at similar time...I was addressing the original issue and hope you do not take my post as referring to yours...that said.....I wish you well addressing what you raise in your post and admire your approach.

No, of course I don't. I read the first 30 pages of this topic last week. One member was betting red or black on the roulette table and went from 300 to losing 20,000 in a couple of minutes.

My group of friends bet regularly, some I do not agree with. One of my friends using caring allowance and money meant for his father to bet with - I've never questioned him, but it is awful!

Fortunately for me, even though I do waste money betting, I sometimes bet once every few weeks or so... I have since had the LBM where money is now carefully monitored.

Congrats on your 100th post!

erdd2

elodieb9 wrote: »

No, of course I don't. I read the first 30 pages of this topic last week. One member was betting red or black on the roulette table and went from 300 to losing 20,000 in a couple of minutes.

My group of friends bet regularly, some I do not agree with. One of my friends using caring allowance and money meant for his father to bet with - I've never questioned him, but it is awful!

Fortunately for me, even though I do waste money betting, I sometimes bet once every few weeks or so... I have since had the LBM where money is now carefully monitored.

Congrats on your 100th post!

As intimated previously, I do not understand gambling concepts albeit I try.

What is LBM?

Re the posts....thanks but ...for another day! lol

Hamsterwheel

Hey guys - its 8 months and all clear for me. I walked into a bookies yesterday, almost sub consciously, whilst in town to find it had very little appeal to me. I found this rather strange since i frequent'd the place so often over the past few years. I sat on one of their stools and gazed at the Tv screens and customers for about half an hour. Watching the punters, I could guess how their gambling was going. There was often muttering and cursing under the breath if things weren't going favourably, a thud on the buttons of the fixed odds betting terminals (roulette machine) or even a kick if it was a run of poor results. One guy was obviously quite lucky on the FOBT and walked past me rather smug, after collecting his winnings. I only felt PITY for him...

I used to be THAT guy on occassions. The world was a rosier place for that short period of time from watching the winning bet(s) role in until the urge to gamble again reared its ugly head. I used to think if I could just simulate that process over again, i'd be X amount richer, I could pay off that and buy this etc. Ultimately its never the case and the horrible reality of losing all and more comes sailing around.

Without being complacent - I feel over the past few months that i've finally turned the corner and really don't need to bet anymore. The urges are still there at times, usually by complete surprise but it takes alot less time to talk myself round and shrug it off as a past life and its GREAT!!!

Im not saying this to rub it in your face but to let you know that despite my reservations it is definitely working. Its not been easy but with time and being able to divert my attention to other things in life it's been achievable. I now have some money available to pay for our holiday and the broken down boiler and some just to spend on me - what a change from 8 months ago when I was throwing every penny into the Ante pot, followed by siphoning off the money that was ear marked for bills when i lost.

Best of all is the fact I don't get those god awful gut wretching moments when you've finally drained all the money/credit dry and are left coming out of the daze wondering if you really just did that and how the hell and the self abuse and the false promises of quitting and the GUILT of knowing what you've just done, followed soon after by "how am i going to get it all back". THAT is what i can definitely live without.

Thanks for all your help in allowing me not to feel alone in dealing with this dark sinister addiction. I hope people can take comfort that there is, even to a cynic like me, light at the end of the tunnel

On a more personal note - SideB - You need to stop NOW. Not later, not after attempting to win some of the money back but NOW. Your story is not disimilar to my own 8 months ago where I lost, pulled it back with profit, lost again etc in a short period of time until I realised it wasn't going to end until major damage was done and the hole i was digging much deeper. Suicide im sure has crossed alot of our minds during some of those darkest hours, I know i've been there. But take heart in the fact YOU CAN stop this addiction and start to build a life for yourself gambling free. Working off the gambling debt may seem impossible but you will become a stronger person for doing so rather than giving into the temptation of trying to win it back.

Use all the helpful information that people have given on these posts and focus on one day at a time. Best of luck to you and anyone else out there who is struggling.

misskaytee

Thats a really great post Hamsterwheel, Glad things are working out for you!:D

My life is finally moving forward too now ive stopped gambling, ive managed to pay about half of my overdraft off, slowly but surely im making progress with my gambling debts.

Although i sometimes get the urge, i know for sure it wouldn't matter if i won, i'd just increase my stakes and gamble some more, so there really is no point, im always going to lose.

Hope everyone else is doing ok ? the boards have gone rather quiet lately

alfred64

misskaytee wrote: »

:mad: The one thing that gets my goat on this site is the promotion of match betting, some make it sound like easy money, but there are so many who get caught out and start gambling with there own cash.

It's not recommended for people with a gambling past or a tendency to gamble, whether or not the gambling was addictive.
It is surprising, though, how many problem gamblers have been matched betting and perhaps it would be useful to users of this thread if there could be some means of preventing that particular forum from showing - if users so wished - when they visited mse.

cantcope

Hi all, welcome to the new posters. Hopefully by reading through this thread, at all the positive news from people like YOU that you CAN have a brilliant life WITHOUT gambling. I'm just back from an amazing honeymoon which i would never have dreamt of 5 years ago. life is great but it wasnt always like that and the first year off for me was pretty rotten. no money, paying back all my debts, selling my lovely convertible 2 seater, moving back with my parents at 31! However, i now have my own mortgage, no other debt, a husband (who has loads of debt - trust me to pick a poor man lol) and money in the bank all thanks to this board, GA and K9. AND, the most important bit, sheer hard bloody work and determination not to gamble again. EVER

samorgo

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on here in a long time as things were going well but guess what... yes I've been an idiot once again...

I feel so terrible today and had nowhere to turn to so I have come here to tell you all how I am feeling...

Sitting here in floods of tears wondering how I'm going to turn this around. I luckily have stopped before I can't afford my bills but I'll still be maxed out on my overdraft by the end of next month and my credit report is so bad that I can't get a cheap loan to pay back people that I have borrowed from - people that I have let down...

While I recognise that I have said it before this time I really do mean it - I WILL NEVER GAMBLE AGAIN. In the past few months my debts have grown and I'm in a worse position than I ever was...

SideB I so understand where you were coming from about winning and losing and I am so pleased that you have realised your problem at your young age as my problem probably started in my early twenties and I'm now in my early 30s with nearly £50k of debt.

I'm sure this will work itself out but I honestly feel absolutely rubbish (please replace with something much stronger!) and don't know what to do to make it better...

This really is just a sounding board - no replies necessary - I just needed to get this off my chest before moving on with a gambling free life...

cantcope

well done for venting on here hon xx hope it helped a little. one day at a time x

samorgo

I'm still feeling rubbish and mega anxious about having to admit my problems to someone - probably my sister but I'm so pleased that for once and for all I have realised my problem and decided that enough is enough...

I just wish I could find a way of 'finding' £5000 without having to involve anyone else - I feel extra rubbish that I'm having to ask someone to help me out but I can still afford to service my debts and feel that this is a real turning point when I will get on top of everything...

I'm trying to keep positive at a time that feels so negative - it's nice to come on here and realise that there are others who understand how this feels and that there are people out there who have reached these depths and got back out the other side.

I am so scared how I'm going to deal with this but I live with the hope that someone can help me out and that life will get back on track without too much disruption to those around me...

I feel better for being able to speak openly on here - I just wish I could be this open with those who love me...

I feel as though this is all my own doing and therefore I should get myself out of it without involving anyone else but I recognise that I simply can't - it's so scary - not only having to admit my addiction but also the trouble that I have got myself into.

The worst thing that has ever happened to me is winning in the first place - since that day I've been chasing my losses - I feel like such a fool - I just hope that life can get better despite the terrible thing I've done.

Thanks for the support cantcope - sleep tight x

MattSS

Just wanted to add my best wishes.

I'm sure your sister and loved ones will be supportive (if perhaps a little unseated to start) and they will be important in ensuring you are able to overcome your addictions and right the wrongs that it has bought upon you.

Best of luck
Matt