ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Jimby509

Hi misskaytee.

Obviously they are over the moon when they find these new freebies ect, but its difficult for me to read, i know i dont have the resolve to just play freebies, and it took me a long time and a lot of wasted cash, and then the guilt before i realised once i start i cant stop.

For me it is a BIG problem. I see an offer on quidco or some other cashback site and think about what I could do with the cash back. Then I think 'Okay I will deposit the minimum to the casino and get the cashback'. Then I can't resist a few hands of blackjack. After I lose I think 'Okay but the £30 cash back makes up for it'. Then I deposit more. Before I know where I am £100s can have been wasted and I am emailing the casino help desk asking them to close my account.

I am doing 10 times better than this time last year. Mainly because my wife is due with our son in the next 4 weeks, hes my first and I am so guilty that money that could be spent on his future might be spent on a online casino. ( I can't stress to you how guilty I feel writing that, just seeing it writen makes me want to be sick).

Recently I have had a minor operation and have to go for a check up once a month. This is how my mind works... If the check up goes well I reward myself with £30 to spend on a casino game in a bookies before getting the train back home. I reason that because I am in Shefiled and not at home, people wont recognise me and it does not count. This concerns me as I have never really gone to a bookies before and don't ant it to keep happening.

It is crazy. Most of me is intelligent, hard working huspand looking forwads to starting a family, but inside there is a little demon nagging me to place a bet.

It good that you have the blocks on your on pc, i remember you saying before that the last time you slipped up was on a friends PC, How does this situation arise? How can you avoid it happening again?

I have my dads to go to and use the internet at any time, I also have 2 best friends whos houses are like home-from-home, I can use the internet any time, I have their house keys and they have mine. None of them know my gambling issues. So I have lots of access to different computers.

Sorry to ramble, actualy I am happy the way things are going as I am controling it 95% of the time, just humiliated by the fact that gambling has me by the balls!

J

IAmAMuppet

Hi all,

To keep a very long story short (on this thread!) I have been a gambler for years (since about 15/16) a have lost a lot of money, certainly £10,000's very possibly £100,000+

I quit about 3 years ago for 18 months or so then started again. Right now my last bet was 26th Jan 2011 (yesterday) and I've had enough.

I have started a new diary in the DFW section in which I intend to make a loooonnnnng post shortly and intend to keep posting in to track my progress. I don't want to take over this thread with my ramblings!

So thanks to everyone who posts here, I for one have taken inspiration from you. If you want to lend your support in my diary, please do. Having quit before, I know in the next few days/weeks, the more encouragement the better!

Good luck to all, I'll be checking in here regularly too.

Muppet

bounce2011

Hi all, found this thread from a link given by GeorgeUK.

I started gambling about 4 years ago, just £1 or £2 accumulators on football every Saturday, nothing serious. This increased to £20 or £30 accumulators steadily. Chasing losses, winning big and losing it all and thinking "I did it before, it'll be easy to win it all again then I'll stop". That's obviously not how it played out. It got to a stage where I'd have no qualms putting £1000 down on a football bet. I am now going in to my mortgage overdraft to find £100's to put down. Hopefully visiting GA soon

riquelme

Hi all, just checking in and bumping back up

welcome Muppet and bounce

Muppet dont worry about taking over a thread post as much as you like it al helps you and others.

bounce - good idea to get to GA they will give you support from people who have been there, just like you. It may be the best decision you make this year.

jimby - you need to close a few more doors, if youve got temptation its easy for you to do it, make it harder for yourself

misskaytee - that was a great last post, post more please

Things not great here, money problems, emotionally drained, work not secure and been tempted to start gambling again but resisted so far because deep down i know it will only end up one way and thats losing everything
keep posting people and stay strong

PontyEnd

Hey everyone. I have read this thread from start to finish in the last two days. Some really inspirational posters and stories, well done to everyone that's stayed gamble free.

OK, well where to begin with me. I have been gambling for around seven years, the majority of which being small amounts. This last year though has been the final straw for me. I will stop.

My finances have never been great, always been in my overdraft, few small credit card debts. Through Uni I was working part time, a job that I stayed at doing various hours, earning not a lot. Looking back now my life was just a week to week existance. Being paid, going out, betting, football, etc. Monday morning no money, never mind Friday came in no time and the cycle repeated. I never saw betting being a problem, just an entertainment we did at weekends. However, about 50% of my wage was being spent on this.

Fast forward 18 months. I finally get off my !!!! and get a full time job, decent pay and hours, nights and weekends free. Now my outgoings at this time were minimal. I was living rent free, a car I only had to pay petrol for, basically my phone bill, overdraft fees and small credit card payments. I found myself with lots of money left after these had been taken into account. Yet within a week of my first pay I had hardly anything left. This happened often for a while.

Then last summer I started using payday loans when I ran out. Sometimes I would borrow up to £400 to last me, most of it blown on gambling. I always paid these off but it would then leave me short next payday. I still didn't come to terms I was a compulsive gambler. To me, a win was just around the corner, this next bet will turn into a decent "bank". It never did because even when I won I never withdrew. Always wanting more, it wouldn't be long before it was down to zero.

I think the reason I have never faced up to it until now is two things. One, I haven't had to. Food, house, car etc I was lucky enough to have. Two, I always thought that I was betting on things I knew, eventually I would win, all I needed was a bigger betting bank to start my "systems".

Now I am pretty clued up on statistics, probability and maths. I love them. I know a casino roulette table pays 97.2%, only a mug would play that long term wouldn't they? Yet how often I found myself just "having a tenner" which would turn into my whole betting balance, sometimes more. I would laugh at my mates in the pub who'd have a quid on a scorecast, trying to explain the terrible value they're getting. I know now I am the mug and what I would give to be in their shoes!

The strange thing is I never considered myself addicted due to the fact I would sometimes go a week, two weeks even longer without a bet. I suppose that's true in a sense. My problem is when I start I can't stop. That is why I am a compulsive gambler. Nothing is good enough I always want more. I would build up a bank to £800 over a week spending hours studying stats then blow it all chasing a small loss on roulette and end up depositing for another bet!

I recently lost my job. My contact wasn't renewed due to cut backs. (Thank you Mr Cameron :mad:). This last month I have got into such a lull I don't do anything. I do my job searches, apply ( I have had interviews) then rest of the day is free. My sleeping has been affected (hense why I am up at this time). My income just covered my outgoings. I should have been fine. But I am not due to my gambling I have spent all my money I had spare. Same old story, I was quite a bit up, thought IF, IF I can get to x amount etc etc. My last bet was February 13th at 21:07.

I am now four days gamble free. I have closed down all my accounts and asked to be blocked from reopening. These last four days have been great, I haven't had an urge to bet. The first two days I spent reading this thread which has helped a lot. I actually watched the match tonight from start to finish without having to cheer my bet on, I could just cheer on Arsenal. I would often bet just because the game was on tele. Today though there was one hurdle, I got an email giving me a completely free ten pound bet. It was on a site I forgot I had, I logged in checked it out and it was free, it was there looking at me. I never used it and closed the account. You can't withdraw winnings without betting it three times over, I really couldn't be bothered.

I am so determined to do this I feel sick thinking of betting. I hope and pray I can continue this and never have to experience the feelings I have after some of the losses.

Sorry for going on and on, this is the first time I've written or said all this. I hope to write my feelings and progress on here, like a diary if it's OK?

To close, I have one problem. Yes all my accounts are closed and blocked. But I have an open bet I placed before Christmas with some "winnings". The stake is £100 and it's an each way lucky 15 for Cheltenham. Now I love horse racing. Not betting on horses, just the sport. I can watch it for hours without betting. No one has ever been able to understand this and I have given up trying to explain it but anyway I digress. I am not worried about Cheltenham as I will look forward to it and enjoy it bet or no bet. What do I do about this bet. The bookie it's with I have not closed my account down. I have, however, limited deposits to £10 per month and any changes take a week to kick in. I am not worried I will use this site at the moment. Any advice on this? It is extermely likely that this bet will return at least something even if it's only £20. It's the one thing that's worrying me that after it's paid I'll go on and bet instead of withdrawing whatever it is. Also, I feel as if this is still gambling and will feel guilty come March when I hope to be over a month gamble free even though I am not spending money.

cantcope

Hi Pontyend. Welcome to the thread and thanks for such an open first post.

Starting with the bet you have placed on cheltenham... can you cancel this before the event? I really dont know if you can or not as my gambling was online casinos and i've never placed a bet on horses.

I'm hoping you feel a bit better after writing out that post. Sometimes just saying it out loud where someone will listen and perhaps offer unbiased advice is theraputic in itself. Have you told anyone else? your parents? partner?

I promise that telling someone will help. I dreaded telling my parents yet in the end they came over, supported me, told me how stupid i was and that now it was time to sort it out and they would help where they could. its was one of the worst days of my life. But you know what? since that day my life has got better and better. I'm over 4 years off a bet, I have money in the bank and i sleep at night.

My advice first off would be 1, tell someone close to you 2, see if you can cancel the cheltenham bet then close the account 3, call Gamblers Anonymous or have a look on their website.

4, and this is really important, if you do none of the above, keep posting on here x

williamD1964

Today is my 1 year anniversary of being clean. This time last year was my LBM and I reached what could be descibed as the lowest point in my life. I was close to losing everything I had worked so hard for.

Today should be a celebration of 365 days of struggle and trial, of determination and support from the good people on MSE.

Unfortunately, work is not good at the moment and well, I could still lose it all through my own stupidity (read my last few diary entries to establish whats happened). So, today I will allow myself a small pat on the back, and carry on the struggle.

Stay clean, stay safe, and stay sane people.

cantcope

Hi William. Well done!!! Nobody said it would be easy and as you know life isnt always great even when you stop. But then not everyone has a great life with or without gambling.
What i can say though is that without gambling i have a clear head that enables me to think rationally and logically. These were not things i could do when i was gambling as all i thought about was the next bet, where could i get some more money, etc...

Just for today I will not gamble

bigloser

Hi, new member here, hoping to join you on the journey. Well actually I'm NOT a new member on MSE, I've just re-registered with a new username to hide my embarassment. Sad, eh?!

I might start a diary (not sure if it will help), but the short version of my problem is:-

I started Matched Betting on the MSE forum about five years ago. It genuinely is (or was) a great way to make some risk-free money, which I did. Then I moved onto casino bonus-bagging, and that's where my problems started. It was good at first, a bit riskier than matched betting, but still very profitable. Then over the last couple of years the casino offers slowed down, whereas I speeded up! I now gamble every day at online casinos, losing money on slots that I just can't afford to lose. I don't even pretend to myself that I'm playing for bonuses anymore, I simply gamble for fun. Today for example, I have just blown a hundred quid, so will have to buy food for my family on a credit card until payday two weeks away. I control our family finances and although we are massively in debt, it's not all gambling related and all our bills are paid on time etc etc.

Over the years I would estimate I've lost about £2000, maybe more, I don't keep records. That's only a small part of our debts, but I seem to lose all the time now. I used to be able to get a big win on a slot then withdraw which would offset the losses. I can't do that now - nowadays I keep on playing until it's all back in the casino, so the gambling has to stop.

When I found this thread two weeks ago I decided to have a final go at controlling my gambling alone. I failed, so here I am hoping for help and support. I know what I have to do, I just don't know if I am strong enough to do it.

No-one in my family knows I gamble (I am very secretive about it, plus I spend a lot of time alone when hubby is working) and I'm determined to keep it that way. I know they would stick with me, but I would feel humiliated and pathetic admitting it, and it will ruin my relationship. It's MY mess and I want to get myself out of it, then move on to a normal life.

Sorry if this is all a bit garbled and rubbishy. I will post again with more detail but I really feel that I HAVE to conquer this addiction now and I wanted to commit myself by registering on this thread while I'm feeling relatively strong.

notriskfree

bigloser wrote: »

Hi, new member here, hoping to join you on the journey. Well actually I'm NOT a new member on MSE, I've just re-registered with a new username to hide my embarassment. Sad, eh?!

I might start a diary (not sure if it will help), but the short version of my problem is:-

I started Matched Betting on the MSE forum about five years ago. It genuinely is (or was) a great way to make some risk-free money, which I did. Then I moved onto casino bonus-bagging, and that's where my problems started. It was good at first, a bit riskier than matched betting, but still very profitable. Then over the last couple of years the casino offers slowed down, whereas I speeded up! I now gamble every day at online casinos, losing money on slots that I just can't afford to lose. I don't even pretend to myself that I'm playing for bonuses anymore, I simply gamble for fun.

Thank you so much for that post that is exactly like me, totally the same - started out MSE Match bettingand made about £3000. I had never gambled before that apart from free bingo offers and then moved onto casinoes and now I just feel the urge to gamble when I am bored. I work from home and often spend time in hotel so its so tempting to log in especially as I get so many email many with free offers.

I have tried K9 free and worked well but my OH does not know about my problem and it does slow our old PC down. I have closed all the accounts I know of and the next step is going to have to be chaning my emails accounts as I still get offers from new casinoes every day. I have tried to limit myself but then I think how stupid why am I wasting all this money. I earn a good wage and always have had plenty of money but now I cannot save anything as it all goes on stupid casinoes etc.

Just had a nice bonus from work that I was going to use to pay for our holiday. Had to put that on the credit card and cannot clear it at the end of the month like a normally do. I really genuinely wish I had never started Match betting, or I have never looked at the stupid slots machines.

I will continue to read this and follow everyones journeys and hopefully stay off. At the moment I tend to gamble once a week which is better than every day. Obviously hope to improve on that.