ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Triggles

just checking in... doing okay so far...hope everyone's alright

cantcope

How is everyone?
Everything ok here. Christmas always reminds me of how lucky I am that I do not gamble anymore. Presents are paid for, wrapped and under the tree.
So very different to 5 years ago.

becky40

I have been stuggling with my gambling problem for a while now mainly machines in the bookies, every month i cash my cheque in the money shop and fully intend to pay the cash into the bank but always end up in one of the 5 or 6 bookies in town. Ive already blown all the money that was for christmas presents/food! Im so ashamed of myself, i dont know how my daughter can look at me.
I used to play online but asked my brother to put on K9 programme which restricts any adult activities so im ok on that score.

My question is: how can i get all the bookies to ban me from playing on their machines?

Will they do this?

I would be very grateful for any advice anyone can give.

P.S i use the money shop as i usually have DD going out and dont want them to bounce or get anymore charges. needless to say, it happens anyway and nothing gets paid.

williamD1964

Hi Becky, I sat and read and re-read your post for an eternity trying to think of what to say to you. Ol, As for getting banned from bookies, I have no idea, but I would suspect the good people on here are more up to date with the procedure.

These fixed odds machine are an absolute nightmare and now account for 75% of all the bookies takings. I really feel for you. I have been there, done that. The best way forward is for you to give your daughter what she really needs for christmas and every christmas, and thats a mummy that doesn't gamble. You have to be strong, determined and really want to stop. Have you contacted your local Gamblers anonymous?
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/ They are a great help to many. I do hope you can join all on here that are determined to stay clean. I would also suggest you go on to the debt free wannabe forums. THey offer amazing asvice regarding dealing with debt. This place is a goldmine. Good luck.

cantcope

Hi Becky,

you can ask the bookies for a self exclusion form. However, if you really want to go on a machine you'll find one somewhere else to play.
You need to give control of your money to someone else. partner? parent?

I'd advise getting to a gamblers anonymous meeting too or at the very least having a look on the website.

Well done on getting K9 put on, maybe your brother will also handle your finances for a while. if you have no access to money you cant gamble

wish you well x

GeorgeUK

As cantcope says, getting banned from the bookies is only half the problem - you can still go to pubs etc. Those machines are everywhere.

It looks like if temptation is all around you, then you need to enure that you don't have any money with you to be tempted with. I suggest you stop using the money shop and just get your wages paid into the bank. If you are worried about bills being missed etc then allow a small surplus to build so you are sure you will not be caught short. Have a seperate account for bills etc and another one for spending so that you know exactly how much you have.

Unfortunately you need to just keep your head down and pretend that the machines don't exist. If you can stay off them for a couple of weeks it will be much easier, but it's that initial break that is always hard to do. If you need to, talk to yourself until you've walked past the danger areas where the bookies are. What would you say to your daughter if she started to copy you? There are no winners but the bookies - don't let them get any more of your money or happiness. It's yours - hoard it.

becky40

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I dont really have anyone else to take care of finances. Or to talk to about my gambling problem.
I really look forward to the school holidays as i know i am unable to go in bookies with daughter in tow! Until then i will try to take all of your good advice. Have already been in touch with CCCS regarding my debts but hadnt told them that they stem from gambling as i didnt think they would help had they known.
I will have a look at the GA website too.
Thank you all again
Becky

misskaytee

Hi Becky

I think what george has said about getting your wages paid into the bank, or even paying your cheque into the bank makes much more sense than using the money shop.

Ideally get two bank accounts and work out how much is currently coming out each month for direct debts ect, and then transfer the money left over into your spending account.

From there on in you could work out what else you will need to pay out during the month, for example if you spend £50 per week on shopping at tescos, out of your monthly money you could buy £200 worth of the saving stamps, so at least you have "money" for food ect.
If you carry a load of cash around in your purse your more likely to get that urge to Just spend a quick £20 which soon turns out to be £200.

Im the total opposite, I have a problem with gambling online, Bingo sites and ultimately slot machines, K9 didnt work for me, as i found away to gamble online without the use of a pc, laptop, i wont post it on here incase it gives anybody ideas!

I haven't gambled for almost a week, which i know doesn't sound long, but its certainly a starting point :T I stopped by this post just to introduce myself, and i will be coming by everyday just to say i haven't gambled today...hope thats OK

misskaytee

Oh another thing, i no longer use the same email address as i did for online sites, so i dont get any "freebies" trying to tempt me with there lastest deposit offers!! I hate those things. I very rarely get anything in the post.
I get very frustrated at all the bingo sites sponsering TV programmes, but do chuckle at the foxy bingo one where hes in the dark and says has any got 50p of the meter? i say to myself " No cos i spent it all on bingo!" ive got a strange sense of humour :cool:

cantcope

Great couple of posts. I can definitely encourage the use of tesco saving stamps as i did exactly the same thing just to make sure i had food until it took over my life and i didnt care about food anymore.
My gambling was all online so i made sure as soon as i got paid i took any cash i didnt need for bills out of my account. That way i had no "spare" money in my account to gamble with. So opposite to people betting in bookies who i'd advise not to carry cash.
We all have to do what is best for our own circumstances. For me GA works, I dont know why and i've stopped questioning why. It just does and thats good enough for me.

Hope everyone has had a bet free day. One day without a bet is a massive achievement for any of us.