ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

riquelme

sunny - well done to you, good luck to you both.

remember it only takes 1 weak moment and everything is ruined. be vigilant without being over the top

once again well done, lets hope he means it

xx

apcorbett

Reading through all of these messages, reminds me how addictive gambling really is...

It all started as small stuff in the bookies, but developed in to horrible internet gambling with credit cards - so, now I sit here with around £12k on loans to pay off, and still haven't learnt really!

The best thing I have found for the internet sites is my OH - She has sole password rights to the Internet router, which allows her to ban certain sites at my request - That's one avenue sorted

Second thing is that she has the card to take money out of the joint account - That stops me pilfering that

Third thing is to only have an American Express card - this doesn't allow any form of gambling on there - RESULT!

Lastly, is not to carry my sole account card or more than £10 in cash - It's really boring in a bookies with no money.



Hopefully, I can get over this, and find something else to get excited about!

Sunny_Bear

thanks riquelme, you seem like such a strong person, i really did listen to what you said yesterday and thats why I spoke to him, I hope one day he has an attitude like yours xx

riquelme

Sunny_Bear wrote: »

thanks riquelme, you seem like such a strong person, i really did listen to what you said yesterday and thats why I spoke to him, I hope one day he has an attitude like yours xx

its still difficult - i still want a bet but know that i cant. i sit on my computer and suddenly get the feeling like i want to play roulette or black jack and think, only a 10er, only 50 that wont hurt.

thats how it starts amd develops.

im staying strong because i dont want to lose what i have - family

my relationship isnt quite the same, perhaps the trust building will take longer (fair enough), we are not as close and i feel that if it wasnt for the kids she would have thrown me out. (thats a bit difficult to take to be honest)

but ive done lots to prove that thats it for me with gambling, b,locked access, OH looking after my money, banned from bookies.

i feel guilty though watching football and i shouldnt because i love football regardless of whether ive had a bet.

thats got me thinking, why should i let stopping gambling affect my own enjoyment of football and sports. but i feel that if im watching my OH thinks ive had a bet, again i suppose that trust will recover in time

x

Pobby

For those that might want a bit of online support I suggest this

http://www.sfcghub.com/

It`s a free to use site that is hosted in America. There is a posting board there but more importantly there is a chat room. Be aware that it is unmoderated but many who visit the chat room are in various stages of gambling or recovery.

I think that you will find a lot of support there.

moneyspender1981

I started gambling years ago, mainly on the roulette in the bookies, but soemthimes in the casino. Anyways my prob really only started when I discovered online gambling.

I was lucky most of the time, but then spent my winning on buying stuff, and then spent my non spare money trying to win it back, anyways never really thought I had a problem until this year.

I was blowing all my spare cash, and realizing that I could be doing so much more with it. Also my temper, I would be come moody when gambling, wouldn’t speak to anyone while I was doing it, and also wouldn’t dare let anyone watch.. COS THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND J

I would even make up debts that I had paid off to vouch for the reason I had no cash.

I was gambling a few weeks back and sat there with physical sweat running down my face as I gambled £50.00 ago and lost £800 in 20 mins.

Ok here is what I did,… not trying to preach just saying what I did and maybe it might help someone else.

I took a walk of shame from the laptop upstairs, feeling like cr*p and told my girlfriend what I did, I told her everything.. how much I lost, why I did it, what it felt like, how ashamed I felt, and how I wanted to stop…… Not easy to do but wow…it really helped…felt like it was the first step.

If you have a Gambling problem, they no gambling is safe, You can self exclude but we all know you can get round that with new email address etc. So just don’t do it. Stay out of the bookies, that the biggest con of all… those roulette machines are set to really bad odds. How many times have you or watched someone pour in loads of cash an never win.. I watched a guy put 2k into one and bet on 12 numbers he won once. Which paid £100.

I don’t think I ever liked gambling, felt stressed when I did it, lied, and felt so bad when I lost, and even when I won could really tell anyone cos didn’t want to tell them I had been gambling. I think of all the times I said I couldn’t go out with mates, could buy things with my GF, could treat the people I loved.

No matter what we win. It may look a lot in one go, but think of all the odd 50’s 20’s 100’s we have lost….

I have stopped gambling now, and can’t believe how much free cash I have….always had that cash ,,but poured it into the machines, or online.

Anyways feel a lot better now, not easy….but not done it for along time. And for once feel proud.

Guess the only people who understand are the people with same problem.. all searching for the big win.. Don’t think it ever comes and if it did, we would gamble it away so.. Why win at all .

cantcope

I dont think its been mentioned on here yet but i found the void hardest to fill. After spending so much time gambling i found it so boring when i first stopped. I didnt know what to do with myself which turned my thoughts back to gambling. I didnt have lots of spare cash as i was then paying off my debts. Life was not all roses when i first stopped. It was boring, penniless and shaming.
I set out to get myself some more interests. I started playing netball again, learned how to bake cakes, saw my friends more and learned to pamper myself. Things i had stopped doing when gambling was my best friend.

I learned to tell people how i really felt rather than bottling it up and then blowing money i couldnt afford online. Things can be very bleak to start with but they do get better and speaking only for myself i have a greater appreciation of everything i have now because i know how easy it would be to lose it all again.

Good luck to everyone trying to quit.

you might feel like you are in a deep black hole and cant see a way out. I can't get you out, but i can jump in with you so you are not alone and we figure the way out together x

sandy_beech_2

good luck to everyone on here. i know what you are all going through. i have been gambling on horses and football since i was 13 years old now 28 and can say in that time i would say i will have blown 100k. its not easy to stop and wish i had never place that first bet. i used to bet heavily on betfair until i blew 15k within months. i have released equity 3 times on my home over the past 5 years for 8k, 5k, and 10k to pay off my credit cards and overdraft. i allways say when i have paid them off thats it no more but it only lasted a few months, back on betfair 100 on a winner then thats it hooked again. i can say since feb i put a block on my betfair account which has helped. i do have accounts with william hill, ladbrokes and bet365 i have £300 limits on them a week but i know its not good enough. i wish i could stop. i am getting better i only bet £200 a week now. its so hard as when you lose you try to get it back. if i had the money in my hand i wouldnt bet as much but as it is press of a button its too easy. when your hooked and have bet like me starting off with £5 bets then the buzz goes you up to £20 then £50 then £100. biggest ever bet was £2000 on a 16/1 horse led until the post got beat a nose. i never felt so low in all my life. dont go there guys. i am getting married next year and want to stop .

cantcope

Welcome to the thread Sandy beech.

you might not want to hear this but if you REALLY want to stop you'd close ALL of your accounts. £200 a week is still a massive amount. Would you spend that much if they charged you yearly?? say... £10k in January to last you? I doubt it.

The only way to beat this is to stop every form of gambling. Many people will tell you they tried to wean off and it may have worked for a while. But inevitably it all goes wrong when you have a "bad day" or a bit of stress.

Although my sig shows the debt i had, it doesnt show what i lost in savings from the profit of selling a property. I gambled online for just 14 months and averaged at just under 6k a month!! but for the first two i only ever bet £20 a week so i know exactly what you mean. This thing grabs a hold of you and doesnt let go until you seriously want to stop.

If you were an alcoholic you wouldnt be advised to just have a few drinks a week if you wanted to quit, same for smoking and drugs. The same should apply to gambling. It's an addiction like any other.

I wish you well and hope that you have stopped before you get married. Have you tried GA? or Gamcare? If youstop gambling your debt will not get any worse. If you carry on..... have a read of some of the stories of gamblers on this DFW board to show you where it will lead.

Good Luck x

GeorgeUK

Hope you manage it sandy beech.

I put a block on my betfair account but after a few months still managed to lose another 9.6k If possible, email them all and ask them to close your accounts. It might drive you to distraction not having those accounts but hopefully you'll be strong enough to not open others.

If you get married next year, bear in mind that if you get a joint account of mortgage, then your credit rating will influence your partners. Hope you can get a clean break from it.

As an aside to that, has anyone ever tried hypnosis for the gambling? If it can cure phobias and other "mind" problems, surely it should at least lessen the "need" for gambling. Just wondered as i tried self hypnosis years ago and although i only listened to free internet files, some of them actually helped relax me - eventually.