ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Hi George,

Personally i havent tried hypnosis for stopping gambling. I have tried it for quitting smoking though and it didnt work so i guess it depends on the person. Might be worth a try, theres nothing to lose.

Someone mentioned trust on here and not having it. Why do we want it? When our loved ones trusted us it made it easy to gamble as they believed everything we said. If we get that back it's lilke a green light to do it again.

After gambling for so long the trust may never come back but i dont see htat as a bad thing. If someone had repeated lied/spent my money/cheated to/on me i would never ever trust them again. why should i? That doesnt mean with an addiction youshouldnt be supported and loved but trust? I dont think so.

My parents still dont trust me 2 years on but i know its only because they care about me and dont want to see me in such an emotional and financial mess again. I quite often get calls just to see what i'm doing on the computer when they know i'm online... it reminds me they love me.

heartache and distrust are not easily fixed and as a CG we tend to want everything NOW. the big win, the flash car, the nice holiday and we never get it. We shouldnt expect trust to come RIGHT NOW either.

Our loved ones are supporting us and trying to help us beat this addiction so if i have to give up a few things along the way to show them i'm serious about it then i will.
Because without them supporting me i'm not sure i'd be strong enough to do it on my own.

riquelme

sandy - good luck with this, sincerely. i havent ad a bet in any form for nearly 40 days. if i did that would mean the end of my relationship and my family. ive got so much to lose and for what?
i think of it this way would i give up putting my kids to bed, looking after them, family holidays just for the turn of a card/ the outcome of a football result... etc.

its got to be abstinence, listen to what others have said, its happened to me. start off low stakes , get a few winners, you forget about all the losing bets, you thik youve got it beat and can handle it, crikey you may even have a system! then bang - one losing bet, 1 bad day, 1 argument, 1 weak moment, find yourself gambling after a few drinks, chase your losses.

and its all gone again

thats a horrible place to be in my friend.


sandy - try and stick this out with us on here, its hard for us too. can you say that today i will not gamble.

best wishes, come back and stay in touch

Ames

cantcope, what you said about trust is interesting. The last time bf had a big blow out and stole from me he said it was because I trusted him that made it easy for him. If I'd been checking my account every day and things like that then he wouldn't have been able to get so much. So now I'm a lot more on the ball with it.

Sandybeech, I agree with the others. A couple of weeks ago bf said he was gambling again but only £10 a week on bets and £5 a week on the lottery. This week he blew his entire income on the day he got it (£50 a week carer's allowance). I'm worried about the next step he'll take. So I don't think there's a 'safe' way to gamble.

sandy_beech_2

thank you guys for your kind words. i havent had a bet today and my wages are still in the bank. tomorrow is the hardest with all the racing on i am going to try and not have a bet hope i can have the will power, its so hard trying to avoid it. i ussually bet on the pricewise tip on a saturday in the racing post dont know if any of you know of this, he picks a horse and rates its chances 1 to 3 points , 1 being a slight fancy 2 being a very strong fancy and 3 lump on. i must admit when he tips up a 2 point win they win quite often if only i could have the 1 bet and stop there but as we all do just one more then its all gone again then i look for another race to win it back, you all know the story. i am on here as i do want to stop so i am going to keep posting until i fall off the wagon hopefully i wont.i can say i have been able to calm down on the gambling but i am scared of that next time it all goes Pete tong and the overdraft is maxed out and the cards empty. i am steadilly getting out of debt so with you guys help i can be out of my gambling addiction after 15 years. thanks guys speak to you soon

GeorgeUK

You can do it Sandy.

Make a list of the things you need to get done at the weekend. Keep yourself busy and put on some music instead of the TV. Hope to hear a success story on Sunday night.

riquelme

sandy - good for you, just 1 tip, if its not too late

DONT BUY A PAPER TODAY

its just a small thing but it may help in not putting that bet on.

have a good weekend

cantcope

I second what Riquel says. If you dont want to bet, dont buy the racing post. News can be read online.

tomstickland

james23_uk wrote: »

First I really thought long and hard about the mathematics involved. Everyone probably knows that with numbers betting obviously there's going to be a house edge. The problem comes from the 'random reward' structure of the bet meaning the gambler doesnt know whether the coming bet will win or lose. To combat this I changed the way I looked at numbers betting into the long run scenario setting. In other words I forced my brain to understand that my roulette bets were automatically worth 2.7% less before I'd even hit 'spin'. This devalued the risk/reward ratio heavily to me and made the desire to bet fade. This example works even better with the Lottery. Only 50p of your £1 ticket goes towards the prize fund so every ticket you buy automatically devalues by around 50% the second you buy it. Think of that next time you feel like buying a ticket!

My advice would be do some background reading and analysis of various betting situations.
With roulette then the house edge means that the long term expectation is to gradually lose money. In the short term there can be highs and lows, but the long term average will eventually be reached.

There is NO long term way to make money from Roulette. That's why casinos make a profit, and they don't care if someone wins a million. They know that on average they will make a profit and the more people playing then the more readily they will attain the average they expect to take as profit.

The internet abounds with "methods" to beat Roulette. They are laughable once you understand how it works (which is very simple actually).

Similarly, bookmakers offer odds below their true estimated probability. They even offer odss of 1.8 on a coin toss (true odds 2.0). So if you kept betting on the coin toss you'd be losing 10% over the long term.

Once this is clear then it becomes clear that gambling offers no profit.

As an aside, mathematically there are a few ways to make money from the gambling industry, but they are a million miles away from the "thrill" of punting or obsessive behaviour. They usually involve hard work, mathematical insight, some execution risk, and marginal profits percentages.

tomstickland

I'm fascinated by the mixture of maths and human behaviour with betting. So if you want help stopping yourself, I can pour cold water readily.

tomstickland

riquelme wrote: »

for any would be gamblers playing roulette. here was my strategy that went belly up twice.

£5 black - lose
£10 black - lose
£20 black - lose
£40 black - lose
£80 black - lose
£160 black - lose
£320 black - lose

at this stage im thiking red has to come up soon, but when you analyse the above, i'd just wagered £320 to win £5 - crazy

£1000 black - lose
£2000 black - lose
£4000 black - lose

at this stage im in bits

can i echo what a poster has said above - the odds are in the bookies favour -

i expec ted red to come up, all you need is 1 losing run like this for everything to go wrong, and believe me it does and will

hope this helps someone

This is the famous Martingale strategy.
It's been analysed; it does appear to offer a means of making profit. The probability of a losing run like that posted is quite high. It very quickly uses up the bankroll, until you could end up with a stake of £10,000. Imagine the moment when you bet your credit limit of £10,000 on Black and it loses.