ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

david01010

Thanks fozmcfc. Thanks Jimby.

My sister and brothers are helping a lot... Even taking my cards away. But I still managed to get them, I said I needed to pay some bills... I really did..

Didnt pay them all... thought well 20 pound won't hurt. Actually won..... And ended the night with nothing left. Not the first time.. But the first time im unable to pay all my repayments.

I think I am willing to do something now, but it has to be everything. I can't / am unable to stop the gambling while im 25000 in debt.. With the next 5-6 years at best getting somewhere near square 1 again, working very hard. And can't make the repayments and still gamble..

And it has been like this for months.. Not eating cause I have no money left. Not going out... Moving money around just in time.. etc.

Did anyone with gambling addictions go bankrupt?? How hard a time did you get?? I'm hoping for an I.V.A but after talking to national debt line, if the next 5 years are uncertain, and lets be honest, whos isn't? Then maybe I.V.A isn't for me.. Appointment this week. Plus I read that I.V.A. acceptance is unlikely when gambling is involved.

Oh and low self esteem, depression, awaiting psychology review, kids, divorce.

Online gambling.

After only just finding this thread.. I also just found this... The radio thing was fantastic.

.moneysavingexpert .com/cards mental-health- guide ( Had to break it up to post it : ) )

A bit hard to take all that in in one go.. But really fantastic.

cantcope

Hi David, welcome to the thread. I'm glad you've found it.
Have you thought about going to GA? i know you said you've spoken to gamcare but GA will surround you with people that can help on a weekly/daily basis, as often as you want. I know i couldnt have stopped without it.

The debt right now is the least of your worries (trust me). It will eventually go IF you stop gambling. I didnt go bankcrupt but i'm sure there are some on here that did. I was advised that for an addict it was the easy way out and would give me a clean slate to gamble again.
However, only you can make a decision on what route you decide to take.

You CAN and WILL have a great life without gambling. The easiest bit to sort out is the financial side. The toughest is changing YOU. This takes time.

I'd forgotten what sleep felt like. How it felt to eat a hot meal, go out with my friends, look in the mirror and feel good about myself. Tell someone something without then wondering if it was true or not (i was screwed in the head!)
I'd spent 14 months with my eyes glued to online casinos. I didnt know what was real anymore.

Its been over 6 years since i had a bet now. I dont even miss it. Although i did for the first 18 months/2 years. I get very occasional thoughts of it now but generally i am strong enough to know this would lead to absolute disaster so dont do it.

I have blocks on all laptops/pcs/tablets and phones in my house so there is no immediate temptation. This would be a good idea for you.

Come back and post as often as you like. Always nice to have someone wanting to quit and change their life. As sick as it sounds it reminds me right where i dont want to be, and i hope we can show you where you CAN get to xx

citizenkitten

interested to know whether all of you have had to go complete cold turkey and never gamble again to break the addiction?

fozmcfc

It helped me to be amongst others on line on a forum who were also quitting. We gave each other daily and weekly updates, even if people slipped up.

For me, I went cold turkey for about 9 months, it was enough for me to see how much money I was wasting.

After that I decide to test the waters and started to limit myself to £10 a week, which could well have been a dangerous thing. But seeing my debt decreasing and my savings going up, was still enough to stop me from doing any more.

Into the second year, I had enough savings to keep me going for 6 months if I had a loss of job etc....

So I then decided to real go for debt clearance. For the first 6 months of the year as soon as I got paid, I put 90% of my spare money a month towards my debt.

After that I only need to put 50% towards it to clear all but the one debt, which was a loan which had 7 months to go and as such I let it run its course.

When it dropped to 50%, I put the 40% I was no longer having to pay into my savings.

Now I am debt free, I do still gamble but very limited to what I used to and I always make sure I put at least 75% of my spare money a month into my savings, immediately I get paid.

I would always recommend people at first cut all gambling out, cut up all credit cards and immediately work out roughly how much you need that month for food, rent etc.. and put any spare money towards debt. If you haven't got the money available to you, you simply can't afford to gamble, unless you don't want to eat etc...

SillyG

Hi,

I have been lurker on here fromsome time. But as I did the most

Horrendous thing lastnight of blowing £1600 on slots I thought I will say hello.

I have been a CG fornearly 10 years. I am a strong female with a good job and very little stress (Apart from the debt I have accrued though slots, which now sits at £21000).

I have been bailed outtwice ( I know this is not the right thing to-do) and have a had long timeswith no bets. But I always go back!!! I am under a councillor at the moment.

Sorry for the ramble!I will post my full story once the self-loathing has died down a bit.

G x

cantcope

citizenkitten wrote: »

interested to know whether all of you have had to go complete cold turkey and never gamble again to break the addiction?

#i had to go cold turkey. There are about a dozen people in my GA group that only stopped their "main" gambling after advice from Gamcare. it ended in disaster as they just changed their "main" and they have since successfully stopped ALL gambling via GA. I also know someone who spent 6 months in rehab only to come out and gamble again?!?!

For me, cold turkey was the only way

Jimby509

citizenkitten Coldturkey is the way forward! From my experience it does not matter if you win £5 or £10 or £100 or £10000, I will deposit it back and gamble again. I would never get satisfied with a certain amount, it just makes me more hungry to gamble. I deposit back all I have won and then when I lose it I deposit even more.

A trait of an adict is somone who keeps going back to an activity or substance that harms them. Gambling has caused so much pain in my life so why would I want to go back for more. I can live without gambling, but I can't live with it. Total respect to fozmcfc for being able to control it at £10 per week but for me this would be a ticking timebomb.

Hi again David. I agree with cantcope. For me putting a gambling block, which I could not uninstall, on my laptop was priceless. Think about doing it yourself if you have not done allready. It removed the posibility and temptation to gamble which ment I could breathe.

I remember withdrawing money from one credit card to place in another bank account so as not to go overdrawn. Then I would go home and deposit the remainder of the maxed out credit card onto a casino. I would forget all the money issues at the blackjack table, win a bit then lose the lot. Then use the bank card and win, then cancel the withdrawal from the casino and lose eveything again. I would end up going to bed at 3am having knecked a bottle of wine so I could forget all the hard earned cash I just lost, just to lie in bed feeling sick untill daybreak. Over and over and over again.

I never went bankrupt, though somtimes I kind of wish I had. Instead I defaulted on credit cards and loans and formed arrangments to pay with others. This has knackered up my credit file for longer than if I had been bankrupt!

For me it really helped to realise that gambling and debt are two different issues (though obviously connected). 99% of my problem was gambling, the debt was a by-product of the gambling as was the anger, antisociality, lack of motivation etc.

Keep us posted. All the best till then. J

Indebted.Dunce

Jimby509 wrote: »

For me it really helped to realise that gambling and debt are two different issues (though obviously connected). 99% of my problem was gambling, the debt was a by-product of the gambling as was the anger, antisociality, lack of motivation etc.

+1

I think this is something I can totally associate with and absolutely sums up how I am / was feeling. People around me keep telling me that I appear to be a lot calmer and less angry nowadays! In the back of my mind I know there will be days when I will be agitated because I am not gambling but that will only be a short term thing and a price worth paying rather than a life time of anger, resentment and antisociality!

Hope everyone is keeping strong and staying away from the vice.

ID

cantcope

Nice posts guys just the right timing for me too as i am now on complete rest duty for the remainder of my pregnancy so missing meetings for a month or two now as i cant travel. I'm lucky though that while i started my maternity leave yesterday i've had 2 members visit me and half a dozen calls!
I think i have the right support around me

david01010

My life is hanging by a thread...

It cant go on like this. Calls/Letters from creditors getting more frequent. I think my job will be on the line if I become insolvent. Which would make any agreement useless.

I can't see any way out. Can't face going out. Can't get motivated to do basic things...

Can't speak to depression counsellor, as I'm waiting for phsychiatrist to contact me.. Can't see two at the same time.

All my hopes were pinned on I.V.A appointment... But I can't see that working really..

Not much time... But how I feel right now.

Thanks for msgs.