ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

citizenkitten

yes in an ideal world we all get the best for our children, but let me tell you I would chose money problems over love problems any day. I have suffered both and I have forgiven those who had the money issues.

i would fall asleep on the porch waiting for my mother to come home after gambling at night after she thought she had put me to bed. i had all my skin from my ankle taken off by being run over by a bicycle when i crossed the road once when i was in a hurry to see her whilst she was gambling. she spent almost all my sisters and I's inheritance. We moved incessantly to her "new" starts, she ended up in a whole load of trouble. BUT I dont think she is a bad mother because of this. She showed me more love than the rest of my "perfect" family (no debts, dont drink or smoke, dont swear, are not fat nor skinny etc) and that is what is more important to making you a good parent.

Happiness can rarely be bought and unconditional love never, I would take a loving gambling addict parent anyday because I know as a family we would over come it together.

not that is in anyway telling anyone to become a parent, but i thought it was important to put part of my story there and say yeah we are humans, those who love you will accept that and that certainly there are worst problems to have. addiction is not what makes you what you are, it is what you do about it that does.

Indebted.Dunce

Thanks CC and CK for the useful posts.

I am indeed hoping for a "normal world" which hopefully will be leaning more towards perfect than imperfect and will involve both financial stability and love.

Lets see how far and quickly I can get there, nearly 2 months of being clean is a good start I suppose. True victory will come if I can go years and then a life time without gambling cause my problem has always been "binge gambling" but I would like to think I have taken steps to address that by restricting myself to a basic account with limited spending funds and gradually closing down access to credit.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend

twirly09

tomorrow marks one year since i last thought about taking my own life because of gambling, I am in such a different place now. Money is always in my purse (okay not much because im paying off my debts!) but im doing stuff, im sociailising, ive got friends, im not sat at the computer all the time. I'm applying for jobs and placements, im working hard... 1 year ago I was none of these things.

cantcope

what a great post Twirly xx How different life can be eh!

citizenkitten

twirly09 wrote: »

tomorrow marks one year since i last thought about taking my own life because of gambling, I am in such a different place now. Money is always in my purse (okay not much because im paying off my debts!) but im doing stuff, im sociailising, ive got friends, im not sat at the computer all the time. I'm applying for jobs and placements, im working hard... 1 year ago I was none of these things.

well done twirly, fantastic to hear your amazing progress. you show how possible it is to change your life. :j

david01010

Hey Everyone.

I have searched gambling debts on here before.. And I have never seen this thread!!

Not much time today.. But I read the last page. But I know you. Will have to check out your situations though.

The posts gave me some hope.. I hardly eat, hardly sleep.. am massively in debt.. And can't go on like it anymore.

I'm at the stage, again, where I feel I need to resolve my situation... Spoke to Gamcare today .. Again I'm afraid. But this time I felt like I really got somewhere.

Spoke to National debtline.. Got advice. I intend to do something now...

Jimby509

This is a fantastic thread. When you next get the urge to gamble make yourself read a few pages of this thread first, it will soon put things into perspective and put you off.

I was in well over £10000 debt due to gambling when I first stumbled over this thread, now down to £1000 and gambling under contro,l apart from the odd slip up.

What is your demon? Online casinos? Sports beting? Bingo? Or the whole shebang? Have you spoken with your friends or/and family about wanting to stop?

Well done for posting, keep strong!

fozmcfc

twirly09 wrote: »

tomorrow marks one year since i last thought about taking my own life because of gambling, I am in such a different place now. Money is always in my purse (okay not much because im paying off my debts!) but im doing stuff, im sociailising, ive got friends, im not sat at the computer all the time. I'm applying for jobs and placements, im working hard... 1 year ago I was none of these things.

Big well done to you. :T

The debt will go, if you remain determined and focussed.

Hoping you get a job soon, because that will obviously make a huge difference, to debt clearance.

I never felt as low as to think about taking my own life. I think that was mainly because I knew I would always have a roof over my head, thanks to living with my mum and brother and I had a fairly decent paid job for me not to have to enter any sort of DMP.

My debt was simply going up though and I thought I could never get out of the debt my gambling over 25 years, had led to.

But once I had my LBM and stopped gambling, it was a great feeling to actually have money left at the end of the month. Even though I had debt, I started to have money to pay it back rather than it going up. The debt gradually started to come down and I started to get my life back.

2 years later and I now had more money than debt.

I kept one debt going even though I could pay it off, just as a reminder of the bad old days, but that was fully paid off in July this year.

For the first time in my life at 42, I can now look at getting my own place, something that was beyond my wildest dreams up until my LBM.

Best of luck, I know how hard giving up an addiction like gambling is. I'm sure you are going to make it to a debt free life though :T

fozmcfc

Jimby509 wrote: »

This is a fantastic thread. When you next get the urge to gamble make yourself read a few pages of this thread first, it will soon put things into perspective and put you off.

I was in well over £10000 debt due to gambling when I first stumbled over this thread, now down to £1000 and gambling under contro,l apart from the odd slip up.

What is your demon? Online casinos? Sports beting? Bingo? Or the whole shebang? Have you spoken with your friends or/and family about wanting to stop?

Well done for posting, keep strong!

Well done for getting your debt down.

You are right, this thread is a place to just see the damage gambling addiction can cause. Seen so many people talk about thinking about or even having tried to take their own life, it's frightening.

I simply don't think that in this country, gambling addiction is seen as a big a problem as it definitely is.

I thought AWP's were bad, until I got into online gambling, that is a whole different world.

Sadly with FOBT's in bookies and £500 jackpot machines in arcades, the ability to lose much more than you could in the 80's and 90's is normally just around the corner from where we live.

fozmcfc

david01010 wrote: »

Hey Everyone.

I have searched gambling debts on here before.. And I have never seen this thread!!

Not much time today.. But I read the last page. But I know you. Will have to check out your situations though.

The posts gave me some hope.. I hardly eat, hardly sleep.. am massively in debt.. And can't go on like it anymore.

I'm at the stage, again, where I feel I need to resolve my situation... Spoke to Gamcare today .. Again I'm afraid. But this time I felt like I really got somewhere.

Spoke to National debtline.. Got advice. I intend to do something now...

Best of luck David, admitting and facing up to the problem is a great start. :T

There is no shame in admitting you have a problem, been there done that myself, very hard to admit to family in particular, but they quite often are the best to assist you, particularly if you can give them control over your finances.

I'm sure you have had some great advice and it is just about having the determination and willpower (I hate that word, but it is a necessity to success), to act on that advice.

Good luck again, you can do it :T