ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Nice one Gazza.

I think i stopped counting after a few months, i stopped thinking about it every day and realised i didnt need to keep counting the days as it was keeping me focused on how long i'd been off rather than just enjoying my life without a bet.. I'm just aware of the day of my last bet now... like a birthday.

riquelme

bump. hows everyone?

lets keep making an effort, there may be people out there who may find this thread useful.

Im going to visit a couple of times a week and post.

me - feeling low, money problems, divorced but havent gambled for 3 or is it 4 years. so not all bad

cantcope

nice one Riq.

All good here. 12 weeks until i meet my little (big) bump. Not been too well but am assured it will all be worth it when i hold my baby.
Not gambled for almost 6 years now. Things would have been very very different regarding baby if i was still gambling!!!!

Hope any lurkers out there feel comfortable enough to post x

riquelme

wow how things change hey CC. Proof indeed that there is life and happiness beyond gambling. ^^^role model^^^

cantcope

They certainly do Riq. But not instantly. Unfortunately a lot of people i meet in my GA meetings expect it almost overnight. It just doesnt happen like that. Taken me 6 years to get here. its like a process.....clearer head, sleep, self pride returns, debt goes down, yearn for more out of life, gain the confidence to go and get it.....

help897

Hey guys

What would you do in my situation?

Hi guys.

This is my current situation:

Bank Balance £0
Gambling company 1 - I owe £3000
Gambling company 2 - I owe £1000
Gambling company 3 - I owe £500
Gambling company 4 - I owe £500
Wonga - I owe £1100
Other - I owe £500

I get paid around £1300 per month.

I have not bet for around a week. I can survive until the end of the month via selling my phone, eating cheap foods, walking instead of driving etc...

Yeah i got myself deep in the crap - but I have personal reasons for why I went so off the rails.

I feel like taking out a loan but I am scared of spurious companies - I doubt any good companies would take me on as a young male gambling addict.

I have had companies offer my loans but quite high interest and not sure i trust them.

What is the best thing to do in my situation?

Debtfreeandlovingit

I have become addicted to gambling again and just cant seem to stop. I wake up on pay day with all good intentions of not gambling and spending my money on bills etc but that all goes out of the window and I just cant stop myself. Its affecting my home life as Im always skint. I really need some help in stopping. I dont want to do it anymore but the online slots always seem to call me back. I was 'debtfreeandlovingit' a year ago but now the debts are mounting up again as i just cant stop. I know this sounds pathetic but im finding it really hard.

cantcope

Welcome to both of you. well done for posting. neither of you sound pathetic. This is a horrible horrible addiction and not something, in my experience, you can beat on your own. Have you looked at the GA website? found a meeting near you? sounds daunting, trust me i know. I am female and ended up in a room full of men!!! old and young by the way. over 6 years on i am still bet free and i go every week.

Help 897 - please dont get another loan. it wont help. If you can survive untril the end of the month there's no need for another loan other than to use to gamble even more. I'm guessing wonga dont havea particularly low interest rate?! However, nobody ever asked if i was a gambling addict when i applied for a loan so that wont affect it.
Call the gambling companies you owe money to and ask them to suspend your accounts and send you a bill or arrange a dd to clear the balances (at a rate you can afford).
You ask the best thing....DONT gamble, DO get a block on your pc and phone if thats how you gamble (can your parents/partner do this for you? K9 is free and simple to download), DONT get out another loan, DO get some help with the addiction.
We all have our reasons. Mostly because we are compulsive gamblers. Cant stop when we're winning, cant stop when we're losing. Any other reason is just an excuse.
Broke up with my partner, someone died, lost my job, was abused, etc etc. None of these things MAKE us gamble....we gamble because we love it and it makes us feel better, until we LOSE...again and again in between wins that only last until we spend even more and LOSE again.
have you not gambled for a week because you havent wanted to? Or because you dont have the funds to? it's rpetty easy not to gamble when we have no money which is why payday is always a disaster.

Debtfree - sorry to hear you fell off the wagon. You can get straight back on it x
get the blocks on your pc/phone. thsi takes away the temptation and i promise it gets easier. Not overnight but it does get easier. Again, try a meeting or an online chat on the GA website.

Have either of you told anyone else? maybe write a letter asking for some help/support? especially on payday. I would advise handing over your cards to someone to look after for you and just having the amount of money you really NEED each day. its pretty amazing how little we can survive on when pushed.

Feel free to post as much as you like. I'm off to a meeting tonight but hopefully someone else will be a long soon to offer some more advice.

If you REALLY want to stop, for good, you'll take the advice. If you dont want to take it then as harsh as it sounds, we'll see you back here when you are a bit worse off.
I dont mean financially either although thats a by product. I mean mentally, physically. The financial situation is the easiest to solve. its the sleepless nights, worry, stress, heartache, self doubt, self loathing, loss of pride and general self worth that take the time to get back.

xx

been there, done it. Realise now i NEED my meetings as without then I will gamble. Maybe not today, next week or even next year, but eventually.

citizenkitten

dont know if it has been posted, got here via another thread but I thought i would say that there is a gambling charity here in the UK ( i believe the only one)

I am very close to this organisation, they have manned advice lines all day long,
they are called Gamcare, http://www.gamcare.org.uk, they also have online 24hr support and can help with therapy. they can also tell casions etc to block you for your own good if you find you cannot stop yourself.

I wish you all the very best in trying to conquer your addictions.

Although I can say this because I dont have the addiction but have lived with the consequences, sometimes it is just money and people are humans and not gods. You need to be able to forgive yourself and sometimes what we take for granted is what some people are praying for.

twirly09

Almost at a year gamble free, and just worked out my debt for the first time.

Well, first goal was get to a year, now I am focused on this debt - Gambling can DO ONE!!!!!!!!