ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Indebted.Dunce

citizenkitten wrote: »

do your children have a wii or some form of video game entertainment? if they do i am sure they will have ones with "games" where you have to move around and excersize, okay kinda not strenuous but better than nothing and get to spend time with the family.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/c25k/Pages/get-running-with-couch-to-5k.aspx

Luckily, no children. Can you imagine the kind of example I would be setting!?!

Thanks for the link, I have been looking at it and I have set up a plan but its just soooooo cold out there right now that I just can't get myself to go out and run!

mrskro

win&save

I too know that feeling, I started a few years ago also, I used to pop to the casino regularly with friends as it was the only place open after the clubs closed and we could either have another drink or a coffee and some food depending on how we felt. My partner at the time would jump on the low roller roulette machines (20p min bet). At that time I didn't bother with any of that i had no interest. My problem started when they got a new slot machine in and all members got a free £10 voucher for the slots, I played and won close to £1K with that £10. After that I became hooked and even started to pop into the bookies after I moved (there is thankfully no casino anywhere near me and I have to drive if I want to pop to the bookies - although there is one close to work!), I have lost friends, a job and my husband because of my addiction. I have spent 10's of 1000's i dont have and cannot find a GA near where I live that I am able to attend.

I did however find MSE here and started a Debt Free Wannabe diary. I type in it most days about how I feel what is going on etc (not about my dirty little gambling habit) since starting a couple of weeks ago I have not even wanted to gamble I make small daily payments even if it's only a couple of quid to one of my creditors and it feels good.

I can only say that I hope you hang in there and if you need to talk to somebody everyone is here to listen not judge... they will be honest though!!!!

cantcope

Indebted.Dunce wrote: »

I get very little spare time as I work stupid hours but I tend to chill with family and friends, read and just laze around. I have been meaning to join a gym but simply can't find an affordable one. I am also looking to restart some sports activities.

Glad you averted the crisis....please note this sentence I have been meaning to join a gym but simply can't find an affordable one

and this one go on go try it, what is the worst that will happen? lose £150, it is manageable

£150 would go a long way to a basic gym membership i'm sure x or as you said yourself, debt management. Christmas presents, more dinners out etc.....

cantcope

Please come back and post as much as you need to. If you are looking for cheaper "warm" things to do. How about starting on your christmas card writing? make some mince pies? catch up on some new books from the library etc.

There is ALWAYS something better to do than losing money in a casino xx

Indebted.Dunce

cantcope wrote: »

Glad you averted the crisis....please note this sentence I have been meaning to join a gym but simply can't find an affordable one

and this one go on go try it, what is the worst that will happen? lose £150, it is manageable

£150 would go a long way to a basic gym membership i'm sure x or as you said yourself, debt management. Christmas presents, more dinners out etc.....

I know what you are saying.

The irony wasn't lost as I was typing it and is certainly not lost now. It is actually the story of my life, everything outside of gambling is "expensive". Gym membership? Expensive! iPhone? Expensive! Much needed new clothes? Expensive! Driving lessons? Expensive! Holiday? Expensive! Gambling? Not a problem, please take the £'000s I don't have. You get the picture I am painting!

Indebted.Dunce

Thanks CC.

I am constantly having to remind myself that

cantcope wrote: »

There is ALWAYS something better to do than losing money in a casino xx

cantcope

oh i ght where you are coming from completely. i remember thinking i wanted a pair of £100 boots....so rather than use the £100 that was in my account i thought i'd rather "win" them as didnt want to pay that much. never got the boots, i did however lose 2k instead and had no food and more debt until the following payday

citizenkitten

Indebted.Dunce wrote: »

Luckily, no children. Can you imagine the kind of example I would be setting!?!

Thanks for the link, I have been looking at it and I have set up a plan but its just soooooo cold out there right now that I just can't get myself to go out and run!

just because you have an addiction does not make you a bad parent. you are human and parents even though the media, other parents etc say you must be perfect, in reality no one is.

just gave the link as i thought was quite a nice idea, but the nhs has lots of ideas.

for £150 you can buy a wii package with games added for excersising and avoid the cold or buy that gym membership! :j

Indebted.Dunce

CC - I think you have articulated what I go through perfectly in that one paragraph

CK - to a certain extent I agree that just because may have an addiction would not make me a bad parent but I personally feel that children deserve to be given the very best and as an addict who normally gambles to the last penny I don't think I could provide them with the basics, let alone the very best. Therefore, I am really glad that there are no children involved whilst I am cleaning up my act and hopefully moving from a totally imperfect world to at least a somewhat perfect world.

cantcope

Try not to aim for a perfect world, just a "normal" one.
Once you accept you cannot win "cant stop when i'm winning cant stop when i'm losing" the appeal of spending money on gambling will simply go away most of the time x

To me that seemed impossible 6 years on. i was single, living alone, peeing in a jug as i'd lost all self respect to even be bothered to go upstairs to the bathroom in case i "missed" my turn online, didnt care about myself at all, suicidal thoughts, not eating or sleeping.....
Now over 6 years on i'm married, back on the property ladder and due to give birth to my first baby in 5 weeks!!!

(pity my hubby has lots of debt but at least i feel proud that i dont and can support us all!) until his debt is clear anyway

Life can be amazing, its far from perfect but its a damn sight closer than it was when i was gambling.
I can happily and honestly say i bought a pair of boots last year for £110!!! didnt bat an eyelid as i knew i'd worked really hard for them!