ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

How is everyone? I hope the lack of posting means we're all ok and not back at it?
I had to change something on laptop this week so i can work from home now and again. Hubby now knows how to install k9 lol. Dad has always done it for me before but he gave Hubs the password so we could take it off briefly in case it screwed up a download i was doing. Other than that things here are great

maxco

Hey Cantcope & anyone else. Everything is good here. It's a shame this forum has died a little. I've noticed that there have been quite a few people creating a new thread talking about their gambling addiction on here. They're probably not aware of this one.

Anyway, keep on going guys. Life is better without your addiction.

Oh_Dear

Well I'm not a newbie to forums, but can never figure out the best place to post. Anyway still gamble free and now on a DMP its £318 til Jan then £518/mth til I've paid £17,100. However I think the PDL (4 of them) will not accept ccc's offer of £5-£12/mth. I would of thought the PDL would have been priority but they are only getting a very minimal offer despite them adding charges. Whilst some others who I had been paying for over a year at £3 £3 £4 and £5 a month have now been offered between £42 and £61 a month, obviously they'll accept it. Has anyone else been in a similar predicament?

To gambledandlost. Neither did I mean to offend or patrinise. We all come on here looking for support and it is sadly lacking sometimes, however an angry outburst will always generate a response! If you are already working 72hrs a week I think you have an uphill struggle trying to make an extra £60, however an option might be a chat line operator I know two people that do it a couple of nights a week and make £100+ dont know how to get into it though. I dont know your story mate, but I can tell you that you are very lucky if losing the £20 grand winnings was enough to help you stop gambling. I'm not going to list my big wins but doing it back in was never enough for me, maybe for a week or two but I was always gagging to be back at it. 5 prison sentances and three stints in gambling re-hab and I'm finally starting to learn 2 gambles in 12 months, a hell of an improvement for me.

All the best.

Geordie.

twirly09

Still going strong, tho must admit i had a slip up last month. Not ashamed because it was just a laspe, in judgement i guess. Things are tough at home, and tough in general at the moment, and the fact i havent gambled even through all this has made me feel stronger.

GeorgeUK

Hello peeps

Good to see some newbies that are able to talk about kicking the habit. You will get lots of advice and plenty of ideas on how to tackle the gambling and other things that crop up from stopping - have a read through some of the older posts too. There are quite a few gamblers that have posted here and i'm sure more that have just lurked.

I haven't been around the boards too much recently - partially due to health problems (stress, anxiety, panic attacks, appendicits...) but i've also got rid of the last of my debt too. Can't update my signature without getting rid of the link to this thread so i'm levaing it as it is so others might be able to find their way here if they notice it on any of my posts.

I can see why gambledandlost may have taken offence - they tell what's happened to them and someone posts 'grow up'. I can guarantee that cantcope didn't mean it as a slap in the face or in rudeness to your situation. She has moved from her original situation to where she is now becasuse she has realised that she had to "grow up and earn it rather than trying to win it". It's about changing the mindset where we are dependant on gambling for money or comfort and amending that.

That's basically what i did and i appreciate your comments Oh_Dear. I wasn't able to focus on tackling my gambling problem until i understood why i gambled. Once i had that worked out i could take steps to amend the situation and then focus on tackling the gambling problem - i fell off the wagon, but i was able to learn from that and take steps so that i was never in that position again. Or if i was, that i would have a different coping mechanism that meant gambling was not one of the options.

Just thought i'd pop in to see how everyone was doing, might be a while before i'm back so hope everyone has a good Christmas.

cantcope

Hi George. Nice post Glad to hear you are doing so well (other than health) and that your debt is cleared. Well done

You are right, i never intend to offend anyone but if someone doesnt like my post they are free to say so and i will apologise. Funny how they've not come back. I guess after years of not gambling you get used to people coming and going. It's just a shame that a lot of the time people only come back once they've gambled a bit more.

You have done brilliantly George. Keep it up xx

Oh_Dear

Very true cantcope, its a pattern that frequently occurs on gamblingtherapy too. I do think though that it is no good adressing the debts without first adressing the gambling.

Great to read your post George, well done. Testiment that it can be done!

Geordie.

riquelme

good to hear from you George, keep up the good work and hope the health situation gets better. CC' you're a star as always.

Major problems here, living with parent, falling out with parent, money problems. The ex has a new fella and has met the kids. Its never flipping ending, cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. Good news is that i havent gambled throughout my problems, because thats not the answer

stay strong peeps

cantcope

You are doing so well Riq dont give in now, as you say it wont change anything other than making you look like a !!!!, draining your finances and making you feel like !!!! again.
It certainly wont help your relationship with parent or kids and your ex will have more fuel to add to the roaring fire. You are moving on with your life, albeit a little slower than ex
However, throughout this process you are no doubt automatically changing into a better, nicer person. I doubt the same can be said for everyone around you. It's only when we hit bottom that we recognise some character defects and commit to changing them.
Try not to see these things as major problems. Just challenges for you to prove you can handle without gambling. You'll get there, i have every faith in you x

I'm a working progress. I still have no patience, especially with old people (my parents). I'm working on it.

qwqw1212

hi everyone. I have a gambling problem. I cant stop. i have been reading this tread for a while and have only just got the courage to join. I have just gamble for the last time, i lost £300 in half an hour. I feel so low, but as i write this i fell hope that i know that i can beat this. My intentions are 1. never to gamble again, 2. pay off debts, 3. every time i feel like gambling i will write something on this tread instead.