This is the new me!!!

Karmacat

Hi Sea
Good to hear from you, and glad to hear its looking 50-50 now. I'm sure a clean financial break is much healthier. Lots of renewed energy on the boards, hope you can take some inspiration from whats on here.

Lemon_Tree

Hi glad that you've come to a decision that will work for you. You'll find lots of support on here from all of us (says the willow the whisp i've turned into of late)

boredofbeingathome

Sea78 wrote: »

Well, back to school tomorrow and back in normal routine, which I think will be good - not been having such a great time as just feel a little down.

We've reached some new arrangements - 50/50 down the line, so need to visit solicitor to see what will happen about house etc. I can probably afford to keep the houe on, but want a clean financial break from him.

The children are happier now things are civil in the house, which is nice and they too will benefit from teh routine of going back to school and childminder.

Hope all are well and happy
Sea xxxxxx

Glad you have come to an arrangement which will work for you hun. At least this way, you will as you say, walk away with a clean break. The very best of luck with it all. BOB X

taxi73

Nice to see you post and glad that you've made an agreement that suits you..take care xx

chocaholic110

Hi Sea. How's the new term treating you?

Sea78

Hi everyone

I'm sorry I've not been around - lots going on here and also I haven't felt like I've been able to give much to others so felt bad for just coming on here and moaning and asking for support.

I'm in a complete mess. I really don't know what to do for the best - at the moment OHand I have sort of agreed to 50/50 down the line - kids, money, everything. I;'m having serious doubts about it as I don't know whether the kids are just too young (3&5) to be swapped from house to house for a week at a time, and also my dd especially, is very reliant on me and DS doesn't react well to change. I'm trying to do the 'decent' thing and not screw OH over, and feel that that is what I'd be doing if I went for full custody as it would most likely mean that if I was successful I would get the house, maybe have to give OH some moeny, but not the full amount he'd get otherwise. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Please, please, please tell me what your feelings are.

Sea xxxx

Seaxwyn

I agree that they are two young to divide their lives 50/50 between two places. I think they should have their home with you, and visit their dad regularly, say every other weekend.

That's my gut feeling, without knowing any of you personally.

taxi73

Gosh that's a hard one.Is it possible to find out what OH thinks about it.
Myself I think they should stay with you and stay with DH every weekend or hilidays or something along those lines..have you spoke to your solicitor about it as they are the best people to advice on this sort of thing.
At the end of the day it's you and the children you have to think about not your OH.So what is best for you?

vandanfc

I will third what both sea and taxi have said.

i think that it would be better for the children to be with you on a permanent basis, but visit dad when they want to. Only you know what they will cope with and this needs to be the first thing you consider. So what if you get the house as a result of having full custody of the children. If you can afford it then what's wrong with that. Why give them a house move and mummy and daddy not living together all in one go.

I know that you want to be fair to OH, but you really need to think about you and the children first - which from previous messages of yours, does not seem to be your OH's priority too often.

rjc73

I'm trying to do the 'decent' thing and not screw OH over, and feel that that is what I'd be doing if I went for full custody

Hey hon!!
so glad to see you post again....stop thinking about doing the decent thing!!! Do you think OH would be if your roles were reversed???

You completely know my views on the matter and it seems others are thinking along the same lines...hope you get lots more support on here as you clearly have tons of people here who support and are concerned for you!:D

Sorry for butting in everyone else...I'm Sea's pal who lives too far away to rush round with choccy and wine!:beer:

Chat to you later hon!.xxx