Sammieb's 'taking control diary'

sammiebmouse

Well I've been paid...it was just over two weeks full pay and now smp kicks in. I've been dreading today coz money is less and from now on will be considerably less.
I feel wretched as hate not having enough, and my immediate thoughts are to try make myself feel better by buying something,anything. Its a knee jerk reaction I've had for years and its times like this that have got me into my current situation. Buying materials to try make me feel better
Got to get over this as we dont have enough to cover our bills this month and I'm wondering where the money is going to come from.
OH is booking a track day £80.00+ petrol, and a day off work and wants to buy a part for his bike that is currently at £50+ incl postage. I havent the energy to have the same arguement with him time and again. He has no idea of the bills that need to be paid and is just has a careless attitude. He knows we dont have enough money this month, but dont think he believes me how tight it really is.:eek:

On the plus side its a gorgeous day:jAm getting some cleaning done this morning, lo is having a quick nap and then will take her for a walk and maybe to mum n baby group, if its open. Got to get back for health visitor at 2.
Have some items on ebay that are being watched and a couple with bids, they dont end for another few days but fingers crossed there is a massive bidding war:rotfl:
Going to enter some competitions and have aquick nosey around the thread.
Take care and have a lovely day!

lucielle

Hi Sammie, can you sit down with OH and have a budget meeting. Don't point any fingers, show him the bills and show him the income and hopefully the penny will drop and maybe a LBM might kick in.

Don't let it get you down, its only money. You have your little one to think about and enjoy. This time passes far too quickly.
L

chevalier

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:Ok I have now read the whole 7 pages of your diary and I will try to put this diplomatically. Stop being a door mat. You had a bad pregnancy THAT WASN'T HELPED by your OH's careless attitude to money. Now you have given up all your friends and moved FOR HIM to be able to get work, he is STILL PUTTING HIMSELF FIRST AND NOT YOU AND YOUR BABY.

So I would STRONGLY SUGGEST you tell your OH that unless he can find the money for the track day and the bike part from something other than the family budget THAT HE CAN'T GO. He is NOT A SINGLE MAN ANYMORE HE IS FATHER AND A PARTNER. So if he wants to spend money ON HIMSELF he does it AFTER ALL THE BILLS ARE PAID, and food on the table. AND NOT BEFORE!!!

As someone who has also had post natal depression (now coming out the other side thank GOD, it really DOES get better), I can tell you with hand on heart that it would have taken much longer if I was worrying constantly about money, and what new toy my partner would suddenly need. Luckily my OH has the same attitude to money that I do, ie if we don't have the money, then the activity, thing or whatever doesn't get bought until we have saved for it.

If after you have said this to him and he STILL goes ahead and spends the money, then tell him that you have no choice but to go cap in hand to HIS parents, and tell THEM what is going on and ask for the money to buy electric this month. BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS SPENT THE ELECTRIC MONEY ON A RACE DAY......

Words fail me they really do. tell him to man up. Oh and also the weekend after this track day, if you don't shame him into being an adult, get up on the saturday do your little ones bottles then hand her over and tell him you are going out for the day. And leave him to it. That is what he expects of you so YOU GET SOME ME TIME IN TOO.

I am sorry but your partner is acting like a child. And I would have his cards off him, and give him pocket money. If he wants to be immature then that has consequences too.

I KNOW that this will be hard to do. I have been there and had a more supportive partner than yours. And you may well have to consider whether your continuing differences in your attitude to money mean that your relationship has anywhere to go. Yes I am so upset at his behaviour and I don't even know you!

Sorry to be so harsh, but I wanted you to see how an outsider sees your OH attitude to your circumstances, and to validate your perception that his behaviour IS NOT OK
chev

sammiebmouse

Hi All,
Chevalier thank you for taking the time to read my posts and give me a kick up the a$$-:beer:
I read your message and at first felt a little defensive for my OH, :rolleyes: because honeslty he is a good un and to be fair i only come on to moan and offload, i rarely tell of the good things he's done:o
But it also made me realise that he needs to know what our bills are, how worried I am, and as you say, be a little less selfish.
We talked about it yesterday while we were on a day out, and not in the house so couldnt raise our voices, and had to discuss it.
We will sit down tonight and go through the bills, look at our budget and sort it TOGETHER:j (Also suggested by you lucielle, thank you as always!)
He is working tonight in his mums shop and worked last night too. He has told them that he will do sat and sun nights for the forseeable future as we will need the funds. That should take some pressure off.
We also have some ebay items ending tonight so should get £100+ for them.
The track day has been booked but I put my foot down that he wasnt getting his bike part, and will need to do the hours in the shop to help pay for it, part of it can be his fathers day gift.
Also, he will definitely be looking after dd the weekend after as its my birthday on the sunday:D
I've got loads of maternity clothes and baby bits that I'll ebay too so reckon we should be able to cover this months outgoings.
I'm feeling a bit more upbeat as have had a lovely weekend with OH and dd, weather is fabulous, have caught up on my washing(nearly). House is kind of tidy (only upstairs to get through) but definitely feeling a bit more like myself.
Chev-thanks also for the reassurance that this PND will lift and I'll get back to feeling how i want to.
Have a lovely sunday evening all xx

sammiebmouse

Hello all,

Thought I'd post quickly while dd is snoozing!
What a beautiful day it is again!:j

Having a productive day today, have made OH his lunch to save him spending, done some washing, cleaned kitchen including fridge and cooker (I hate those normally). I've hoovered kitchen and living room.
I also took dd to doctors for check up and while she's not finished her course of anti-b's they are happy that it seems to be improving:T
She's been a wee star though, she was such a chirpy little thing over the weekend-I'm really enjoying her and she has the best little personality!:D

Still no response from work, I think they are thinking if they ignore me I will go away!:rolleyes:
Still not received letter from abbey so will type up complaint letter later today.
I've got to go pay water rates so will do that once dd has woken. Also need to post an ebay item that has sold.
I need to do a food shop and drop a referral note to the local gym (I get 20 sessions which will cost me a bit less as the GP has prescribed some exercise to try lift the spirits and help my pnd)
DD's room is a bombsite at the moment as I'm trying to sort all her clothes (winter/summer),and she has loads, the lucky girl!
Speaking of clothes, I got OH to take my summer clothes down from loft, and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight so can fit into all my clothes:D
Chuffed as it feels like a whole new wardrobe because I was pregnant last year, and i dont need to buy anything really!:T

Better shoot, as I want to catch up on some diaries and look for some MOC for my shopping.

Have a lovely day everyone!

sammiebmouse

Hello all,

DD is having a little snooze so am using the time to read up on MSE and thought I'd post to try keep myself in line:D

Made OH his lunch again today to save him spending money. Have hung out washing and been to shops for some rolls for sandwiches.

Have loads to do today especially cleaning as have a lady from food registration place calling round tomorrow as making sandwiches for OH's mums shop. I got loads done yesterday so not too much to do, thankfully!

Will do a wash while im there and get it hung out if i can. Loving this 'getting the washing done' weather. :T
I need to call E-on with my meter reading as dont want any nasty surprises. Was searching for my account number yesterday and came across some correspondance from them which advised I would receive a bill in April? Needless to say I havent received anything and am really hoping that its not too high..gulp..:o
I'm going to list the food that I have and try do a mealplan for the next week.
I need to package up ebay items that sold, to be posted tomorrow.
Have to make a start on dd's room, soooooo much stuff to put away and sort.
I need to list more items on ebay.
I need to go to the post office to make payments to the council tax and e-on.
I received my first survey from lightspeed, so need to find 20mins to try complete that.
I made dd some pureed carrots today, she wasnt fussed with it, and quite alot of it was spat back out. If only she knew they were organic and cost me 80p for 4!!! Though I think she's a bit young to start on with this mse' thingy!:rotfl:
I need to photocopy the correspondance i sent my bank to include it in my complaint letter.
I also need to register as a soletrader with companies house and look into business stuff.
Gosh, Im feeling overwhelmed with all that:rolleyes::eek:
Better get a move on or nothing will be done;)
Take care all x

lucielle

If you get half that list done you'll be doing well! It has tired me out just reading it. Hope you had a productive day.
L

TashaC

Am interested in finding out how you get on with the food standards agency, I was thinking about making a few cakes to sell! x

sammiebmouse

Afternoon,

Tried to post a few times last week but comp has been playing up.

Was my birthday yesterday so am now 27years young:eek: Had a lovely day with OH and DD, he got me lovebirds:D I absolutely love them and have called them Allie and Noah- (if anyones seen the notebook, they will understand!) DD, though she is only 6 months, bought me make up:j.

I got some beautiful gifts from friends too, a beautiful radley handbag, perfume, karen millen jewellery,a radio, bath smellies,glamour subscription, a willow tree figurine and some dollars:T What a lucky girl I am ey!

I've been rather lucky over the last week as I won V.I.P tickets to Taste of London for this saturday worth £55 each! and £30 to spend on food on the day:j I've emailed them this morning to enquire if I can bring dd as there is no-one to mind her, plus I realy dont want to leave her again!
I also won a runner up prize in a wedding magazine for a consultation with a wedding planner to the value of £200:T As I said, lucky me:D

We had the food standards lady out and everything is ok-passed with flying colours so its full steam ahead with the sandwiches! Tasha C-you should definitely look into it. I find the extra pennies help, plus I can do it in my home and dont need someone to sit lo while I do it.
I also sorted my food hygiene course, though lucielle, I couldnt find anything on business link ? so did it online, as it was more convenient with lo.

I've popped my complaint to the Ombudsman re my bank. I dont think they thought I would follow up but I filled in the complaint form last week and posted it, should be interesting, nothing will liekely come of it-but I've nothing to lose!
I have some bits selling on ebay to try keep us afloat at the end of the month and need to post an item that sold.
I've literally got a list as long as my arm as I was too busy enjoying my birthday weekend to stay on top of the tidying, so better get on!

sammiebmouse

Not much to update but trying to keep posting regularly!

1. Paid £3.15 off OH's abbey card
2. Received confirmation of receipt of my complaint from ombudsman.
3. Received response from o2 to advise I can bring dd on sat:j
4. Finally received present I ordered for my dad for fathers day, so have that packaged andready to post tomorrow.
5. My best mate sent me £50.00 for my birthday and told me not to spend it on bills, I was looking on topshop miss selfridge etc and everything is so dear, so I've decided to spend the £50.00 on ebay. I've bought a dress, a couple of tops and some jeans, for about £20.00 so far:T Received the dress today and its fab, going to wear it on saturday if the weather is nice!:D
6. Have added loose change I founf while cleaning to our pot, which will keep till July, when we have OH's two beautiful daughters and my niece over for two weeks holidays. We will take them to OH's mums caravan by the beach, there are slot machines, pool etc, its really great and family friendly. We are so looking forward to seeing them, plus we onlt paid £10.00 for return fights with ryanair!:beer:

We are off to the cinema tonight as its 2-4-1 orange wednesday, OH's mum will look after dd. I've told OH this is our last time for awhile as we need to make sure bills are sorted and that we have some spends for when girls are over.

Will bring our own goodies so will be a low spend.

Right,need to go get ready and make dd's bottles!

Have a lovely evening all xx