So frightened of the shame of it

080808

Hi dorothy.
don't know if you are still reading this thread, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record my personal veiw is that money advisor at the CAB is a wise and safe step to getting things sorted out. they are impartial and non judgemental and know their stuff very well in my experience. i tried various online advice places before going to the CAB and now i wonder why i didn't just go to them first. i struggled with dmp's and offer letters because i was terrified of bankrupcy but the CAb alleviated my fears and took my through the process step by step. to keep my going i just think about when it will all be over with and i can step outside and breathe properly and walk without lead in my shoes. i don't think you need to say anything to your landlord. it might seem like everyone will know but who the heck reads all the little print in the local paper about legal stuff, births, deaths and bankrupcies? i don't!
in any case it will be worth it to get debt free and plan your future and be in control of your situation again.
sympathy, empathy and warm best wishes.

dalip

Dotty:D we look forward to your questions in 8 wks:p . In the meantime any support/help/advice you feel you can offer is always appreciated by this forum.D

Dorothy56

Should only be a few weeks or so until I am in the position to do 'the dreaded deed'. Well not entirely dreaded - but definately will be pleased once it is over.

The court I have to attend is apparently Southampton, although I was sure it would be another - the vagaries of court boundaries! I rang them yesterday and they told me they run an appointments system with about a two week wait.

Has anyone else been 'done' there and could they let me know how it was please.

Although I have almost completed the online forms I am going to request the manual forms as it would seem you are more able to write comments etc on it. Something to keep me occupied once my children return to school - or would it be better to have lunch with a friend :undecided ?

This month we stopped our DD to CCCS and hubby returned to paying his creditors as normal, as it is me who has the huge amount of debt and only me that is going BC - so doubtless I can expect an avalanche of letters and some of those lovely calls from Mercers again anytime soon.

I am always really nice to them..I'll tell you why. Many years ago, when I was a student, the only summer job I could get was working for a very large debt collection company in London.

We sat in 'teams' of eight and the team had to make x number of calls an hour. Unanswered calls or ansaphones didn't count. We were only allowed two 2 minute loo breaks per session and, if you didn't successfully get some money from someone your team went on report. Also you never knew when one of the managers was listening in to your call, so you could get into trouble for being too nice!

Because it was shift work most of the women doing it were poor hard up mums working twilight shifts to make ends meet. The pressure along with the tedium made every shift feel like it lasted forever. So I'm always kind and thank them for calling. Probably the only 'nice' call they get all day.

Hugs to all my BC buddies

Dorothy:cool:

summermummy

I felt sad when I read your post. I am married with two young children and thought about the women doing those late shifts to support their kids. You have a lot of humility and I admire your strength.

With reference to bankruptcy I have no personal experience but know people who have been through it. Many are relieved at the massive weight off their shoulders. And don't forget some of the most successful people have been through it, namely Simon Cowell and many, many others.

dalip

Morn dotty
What you doing up so late/early. Made interesting reading. I keep saying to OH when he gets mad on the phone,they are only doing their job.D

RichOneday_2

The fact that it is in a different location to where you thought may mean the little notice in the paper will be in a local paper not local to your village.

Very few people find out if you don't tell them (or if you're famous!).

oksanauk

Hi Dorothy and all:-)

I read your story and I am almost in the same shoes as you now...same situation. Absolutely terrified of doing it, but yesterday had a chat with CCCS and they've advised this will be the best option for me... I was wondering what happened to you since and how you are feeling now? I also have been told by CCCS that it is very likely I will have to pay a certain amount for 3 years, even after I have been discharged..Please tell me what happened to you, - it will really help me.. Did you landlord find out about your bankruptcy? I am too very worried about him being informed....

Oh, I see you too spoke to CCCS.. Did you not file for BR through them? When I spoke to them yesterday, they said I will be dealing through them all the time? Or do you think it would be better for me to apply for BR directly through OR?

Oksana

Wildr

Dorothy56 wrote: »

Maybe one day I will be able to come on here and help other people.:cool:

And you did! Your post in my own recent thread was very warm and just the fact that you took time out to post a message of support was VERY helpful to me and set an example that I intend to follow.

R.

deedee_3

oksanauk wrote: »

Hi Dorothy and all:-)

I read your story and I am almost in the same shoes as you now...same situation. Absolutely terrified of doing it, but yesterday had a chat with CCCS and they've advised this will be the best option for me... I was wondering what happened to you since and how you are feeling now? I also have been told by CCCS that it is very likely I will have to pay a certain amount for 3 years, even after I have been discharged..Please tell me what happened to you, - it will really help me.. Did you landlord find out about your bankruptcy? I am too very worried about him being informed....

Oh, I see you too spoke to CCCS.. Did you not file for BR through them? When I spoke to them yesterday, they said I will be dealing through them all the time? Or do you think it would be better for me to apply for BR directly through OR?

Oksana

Hi Oksana, welcome to the board.

Dotty is not bankrupt yet but is starting the process.

CCCS will help with advice on filling in the forms and explain the complications on bankruptcy but you will have to go to court and speak to the OR. I would suggest that you start your own thread with any questions you have and we will help and support you through the process.

oksanauk

Thanks Deedee:-) I am very confused rigght now and need advise/help. I will start my own thread and call it "Help - Bankruptcy, IVA or DMP?"

Oksana