Housing for pregnant 17 year old

beingjdc

carlislelass wrote: »

why should youngsters get pregnant and then expect the council to house them?

Because as a society we took a decision some decades ago that babies shouldn't start their lives on the streets.

Snooze

ged1980 wrote: »

What gives you the right to say "get shut of it" OMG its a life we talking about here not a toy to through away

Right, so just because you don't agree with abortion you think it's alright for the kid to be born into a world where its parents can't support it til it becomes an adult? Sorry but that makes you a very selfish person. Face facts, the kid is better off out of it.

She's 17 and he's 21 and a doley. I'll bet you £20 now that they're no longer together by the time the kid starts school - and that's being generous on the time frame. Very very few child pregnancy relationships last; all you've got to do is look on google for millions of pages of evidence.

Sometimes you've got to do what's best for the kid, not what's best for you. :mad:

Rob

nearlyrich

The kid is the important one in all this and in my opinion they should get shut of it as they don't have the "infrastructure" in place to support it ...

Is it me or does this read that it's in the best interest of the child to kill it?

I am sure all the people who have been born in less than perfect circumstances to young parents with no resources are glad that most people don't think this way.

It sound's like the dining room sacrifice will be the way forward and I wish your family well with the new arrival...

jackieb

Snooze wrote: »

Right, so just because you don't agree with abortion you think it's alright for the kid to be born into a world where its parents can't support it til it becomes an adult? Sorry but that makes you a very selfish person. Face facts, the kid is better off out of it.

She's 17 and he's 21 and a doley. I'll bet you £20 now that they're no longer together by the time the kid starts school - and that's being generous on the time frame. Very very few child pregnancy relationships last; all you've got to do is look on google for millions of pages of evidence.

Sometimes you've got to do what's best for the kid, not what's best for you. :mad:

Rob

I got pregnant at 15. I've been married for over 20 years. Stories of people staying together isn't sensationalist enough for the papers. And my son would not have been better 'out of it'. How dare you make assumptions like that.

lostinrates

LillyJ wrote: »

I just wondered one thing, with them getting married, where is the money for that coming from? Because even if it is only a registry office wedding with no dress/food/guests etc it still costs a few hundred just for the legal side of things. That may be enough for a deposit for a flat so maybe they should hold off on the wedding for now (although I can see why they want to do it, no harm will come of waiting a year or two).

three and a bit years ago it cost under £100. I can't remember exactly how much, but it might have been £60 or £100 with the fees fo the registry office and paper work - I wasn't thinking about the money at the time! I agree though, that a big shin dig might show lack of wisdom in these circumstances, but a small registry office thing with their family seems quite sweet to me. at least they are making a commitment to each other. One has to be impressed by that.

PS to those who said she might have been more careful if she had known she wouldn't have been given a council house - OP said she was using contraception, and as we all know they are not fool proof. .

although obvious when you think of the figures as numbers rather than percentages it can shock people. 99% sounds reliable then you think how quickly a young coule can get to the 100th time....:o lets face it, you can take a big chunk out of that 100 every night you spend together .

astonsmummy

dedward67 wrote: »

Hi

We have a problem, our 17 year daughter announced a couple of weeks ago she was pregnant by her 21 year old bf of 12 months. It came as an almighty shock to me and wife as you can imagine. Though may be thought old fashioned, they decided they would marry the end of October so the baby could have the same name etc.

Issue is housing!! She currently lives with us, but shares b/room with her 14 year old sister and other 2 rooms occupied by son and us. Clearly no room for daughter + baby in room she shares with sister. Daughter and b/f have both been to council today and we've had to write a letter saying we're asking her to leave by 30th September. Her b/f lives in shared house but is for singles only so he has letter too. He doesn't have a job though been looking for one for sometime, so can't afford to rent privately. Council were v. unhelpful and despite the fact they said they were getting married in October, just offered her single mother's accomodation nearer the birth time (March 09).

Don't know where to go from here??????????

If you write a letter saying she has to leave by then, then at that date, unless you change your mind, the council should take her on as a priority homeless application.
She will be housed in temporary accomodation until at the very least the baby is born.
The council will probably tell her that there is no accommodation in the area and she will have to live 50 miles away, but that's just scare tactics.
I dont know what the situation would be if she made the application with the baby's father though, but if he gets the letter too then I would of thopught it would work the same.
Definately contact shelter or similar.

poppysarah

Speak to Shelter. Whether your home will be legally overcrowded will depend on what the various rules say about sharing rooms.
If her BF also moved in with you then you'd almost certainly be overcrowded.

However if it's come as a shock to you, then you might be too shocked to have them sharing a bed under your roof.

There are also housing associations as well as the council, and the council usually passes on applications. If they want to narrow down where they want to live it will restrict choice - if they are more open minded they'll get somewhere, but bearing in mind her young age then she will almost certainly need her loving family close by.

Is there no way you can have an extension put on your own house to give them a room of their own?


Getting married on the cheap isn't impossible.

Marriage at any Register Office
Total fees £103.50
includes £30 each payable to the Superintendent Registrar at your local register office at the time notice of marriage is given and £43.50 payable to the registrar on the day of the marriage

Kavanne

dedward67 wrote: »

Thanks for all your comments. Other daughter is 14 and starting GCSE's in September so baby in room with sister and her just wouldn't work. Got the task of speaking to them both tonight to look at the ways forward! Wish there was an easy solution, but there isn't! Either he's got to get a job and rent privately, they've got to claim homelessness and get put wherever (b & b/hostel etc) or she lives in our dining room with baby and he lives in his place. It means TV dinners for the forseeable future, but an option, I suppose. Wouldn't be an option him living there as well though, my two other children tolerate him, but are still fairly bitter that he got their sister pregnant so pleasantries are few and far between!!

The Dining room would have been my FIRST idea!! Surely the most comfortable, cheap and convenient for all? TV dinners? It's not that bad.... You will just have to forgo your dinner parties for the forseeable future.

dedward67 wrote: »

TBH the cost of the wedding is being met by ourselves and b/f's mum. They're having a small buffet locally but friends are doing the food. Registry office cost total somewhere around £115.

Why do they need to be married? Use the money to help them buy things for the baby.. I don't need to be married to my boyfriend to know that we'll be together forever I offset my mortgage instead of having a wedding... every little helps!

LillyJ

poppysarah wrote: »

Getting married on the cheap isn't impossible.

Marriage at any Register Office
Total fees £103.50
includes £30 each payable to the Superintendent Registrar at your local register office at the time notice of marriage is given and £43.50 payable to the registrar on the day of the marriage

It can be done cheaply, however, £100 buys a lot of nappies! What I am saying is for a couple on JSA it is money that may be better spent elsewhere. Although I do like the gesture of commitment it makes, it isn't an essential at this moment in time.

barnaby-bear

Snooze wrote: »

Right, so just because you don't agree with abortion you think it's alright for the kid to be born into a world where its parents can't support it til it becomes an adult? Sorry but that makes you a very selfish person. Face facts, the kid is better off out of it.

She's 17 and he's 21 and a doley. I'll bet you £20 now that they're no longer together by the time the kid starts school - and that's being generous on the time frame. Very very few child pregnancy relationships last; all you've got to do is look on google for millions of pages of evidence.

Sometimes you've got to do what's best for the kid, not what's best for you. :mad:

Rob

I think your daughter maybe in line for this kind of comment or the odd dirty look when she's pushing the pram around. I also don't think it sounds much fun for a very young couple living from week to week on benefits. Whilst the situation is how it is - is there anything you can encourage the BF to do to contribute something they can take pride in. If he can't find a job could he do some voluntary work (an old folks home, helping do gardens for those disabled, work in a charity shop) so they can turn round to the detractors and say there isn't any work but we are part of society and by doing so he'd be showing he can turn up on time regularly and isn't a lay-about etc which would help his CV/confidence/impress potential employers and also get them a bit of contact outside of their situation. It doesn't sound much fun being a housewife without a house to occupy your time and an unemployed BF bored hanging around.

I kind of do think society should help those in need but I also can see why it isn't easy for a young couple waiting on min. wage to get somewhere to see a homeless young mum 'skip' the queue - and whilst there's a housing shortage someone is going to lose out and this type of resentment is going to bounce around.

I wasn't suggesting you pretend to be the babies parents - just if there was absolutely nowhere else you could have the baby in your room for a short while if wasn't an alternative.

Can I just say I respect the OPs calm dignity and practical approach.