Housing for pregnant 17 year old

bubblesmoney

beyond_skint wrote: »

What's this person to do with JW'S I'm sure she isn't one, they are the most honest people on the planet. Sorray haven't seen the thread

if u see the thread mentioned in the link then u will know what i am talking about. there are so many twists and turns in that thread and many other threads by that person that my mind boggles. wont be surprised if a movie is made from the story. i am surprised i havent yet seen phireflys popcorn bag logo on those threads yet !!!

Phirefly wrote: »

OMG

and the links i have given in that thread are just the tip of the iceberg as i found out while reading the rest of that persons posts on this board today.

ya i know i had nothing better to do and couldnt sleep during the day as was on night shifts and was disrupting my sleep cycles

Sami_Bee

dedward67 wrote: »

Having spoken to my daughter and boyfriend at length (AGAIN!), I don't think either of them want a life on benefits. The pregnancy certainly wasn't planned in any shape or form, but it's happened and as a family we're helping them deal with it. Having been married for almost 19 years, one thing I've learnt is that when things get tough, you have to face them head on until you find some kind of solution and not just walk away and give up. Thankfully that has helped us build a strong relationship when it comes to problems like this. It seems as far as job hunting goes, it's more of a confidence matter than a can't be ar*ed matter. I have encouraged him to try for double glazing companies locally as he has experience as a fitter's assistant having worked with his dad. There is also now the possibility they may move up North. His mother is moving in the next few weeks and will now be renting on old 3 floor house (as opposed to a standard semi) and has given them the option of having a floor to themselves. That being the case, he would probably work with his dad (who lives there currently) and resume double glazed window fitting. It will certainly be a very tough one for us if this happens, as Manchester is about 160 miles from us, so having our little girl (yea I know she's 17!) that far away will feel very uncomfortable.

Well dedward you sound like such a lovely man!
I'm sure it would be very hard to see your little girl packing her bags to move up north (and as a Northerner I can say its definitely not grim up here!) but it sounds like this would be the "best" solution as dad would be working etc.
I think at this point you should make it clear to DD that you have been very stressed of late and feel you've done all you can to help, if she doesn't like this solution than its now up to her to find a better one, also make it clear that she and baby are welcome home if things don't work out (even if it would mean living in the dinning room) it is time she starts "living in the real world" and that involves doing things you don't like to get the result you do (being a grown up is rubbish!).

I hope that makes sense!
PS. would like to add I'm not saying she's deluded or anything by my real world comment just that as a young mum(had DS at 21.5 yrs) leaving home and having to put bubba's needs before my own was quite a shock not to mention having to organise paying council tax, gas, electricity etc. :eek:

YESPINK

I understand your situation, i was in exactly the same position with my parents in 2006, i was 21 and pregnant with my first child, i still lived at home and council were useless, i had no choice but to go private rented, with out the advice of the council, i went to an agency and signed up for a 2 bed flat, i had a daughter and no job and now 475 rent to pay a month, the only thing that was hard was scraping together the 475 one months rent and 475 deposit, but i managed and im still living here now.
i thought id never manage to get anywhere and was causing arguements between the family. thankfully i managed to get somewhere, with no thanks to the council, and i agree with you, how hard it is to find a job, your daughters boyfriend i most possibly trying his hardest, without quilifications or a driving licence now a days
they aint interested. tell your daughter to keep on at the council if needed call them everyday, put pressure on them, get on the waiting list, and let them know your not giving in and not settling for anything, no hostels or single parent shared homes.. would they live there or put there kids there? i dont think so, good luck, x

YESPINK

beyond_skint wrote: »

Well aren't you the sensible one. Who knows what's around the corner. Lets see how you handle things then.:rolleyes:

I got pregnant at the age of 21 and that wasnt planned, as the girls dad as said before precautions wernt 100% trust worthy, same with me, i went on to have a beautiful healthy baby girl, and i was a single parent, and my daughter doesn't go without, if anything, she has more then most, i thought id struggle and either had second thoughts, now im glad i made the right choice, and in time things come together. everydays hard, but id never change her for the world, and as for telling my parents, i wasnt there child it was mine, planned or not im glad i made the choice i did, x

YESPINK

In my area, wolverhampton its full of immagration and the council give them all our houses, our homeless or young expectant mothers have no chance its rediculous, but council wont talk about this problem and if you try to bring it up you get asked to leave by security for being racist!!:mad:

geoffky

tell them to turn up in manchester homeless and see what happens ?worth a think about........................good luck all

keletubbie

Ok, so I skipped a few bits in the middle.

I have to say firstly, I don't think it's the best idea for your daughter to head off on her own. I don't know what her relationship is with the boyfriend's family, but I found when I was pregnant and 100 miles away from my family that they were all I wanted! Might she be better off staying resident at your place until he gets himself established with somewhere to live and a decent job?

In the meantime, she could still be working. Most women who have normal, healthy pregnancies work well into the third trimester. If she's living with you, and I assume paying no rent, every penny can be going towards the plethora of things a baby needs.

As a parent, you can make it work if you want to. I split from my fiance of 6 years in January 2007, yet still managed to fall pregnant by him that March. I had a long hard think about what I wanted to do, and decided to keep my daughter (who I was sure was a son at the time). I had to move out of the flat we shared because it was too expensive, and rented myself a room. I did the 20 mile commute on the train (plus 2 mile walk to/from station) until I was almost 8 months pregnant, saving everything I could.

I was lucky enough to get the box room at my parent's house for 6 months, while my sister lived away. During this time, I saved everything I could and scratched together the deposit for a place of my own. I had relocated 100 miles from my job, so had to find one here. I now support my daughter (with the welcome help of tax credits) and am just moving from our 1 bed flat (cannot share with a noisy baby any longer!) to a 3 bedroom house, both rented privately.

You can do it. But it's no walk in the park, and having a baby means you have to stop being a kid yourself. Saying that, while the dinner cooks and the baby naps, I'm off to play on my Wii...

Congratulations to the OP and his family, and please keep us all posted.

daisykinn1

bo_drinker wrote: »

Send em back then, they are working the black economy again just like Thatchers days. All part of what is dragging this country down. They can seek assylum a lot closer to home, but no they come all this way.........I wonder why. Because of what they will get eventually.

Please read something a bit more factual that the Daily Mail.

neverdespairgirl

OP, what happened in the end to your daughter?

Premier_2

Hmmm...the OP started this thread end of July and hasn't been back to MSE since early September.:rolleyes:

I wonder what they found to do during half term?

Oh well, maybe they'll be free at Christmas to update us on this epic:rotfl:


I do hope we get some warning - Phirefly will need to stock up on popcorn again :T