Christening and alternative naming ceremonies (merged)

mummysaver

I got gold crosses for my god daughters, but my favourite christening present was a small wicker chair, it has moved numerous times with me and my children have all used it, sadly it got really bad woodworm last year and I had to get rid of it!

Lillibet_2

Hi

We are in the midst of planning our sons christening for the end of April and, having only ever been to 3 long-ago christenings myself (excluding my own!) and as Hubby is a pagan and has never been to one at all, we are struggling a bit on some of the formalities.


Are we expected to buy gifts for the godparents? And if so, what? I am a godparent to 2 brothers & wasn't given a gift but Hubby seems to think it is custom/tradition to give the godparents something but I think he is confused with bridesmaids?!

Whilst we appreciate it is the thought that counts we are absoutley dreading being given a stack of tacky silver money boxes & photo frames:p. As much as we would prefer people to, we don't like to ask people to give money to his trust fund so is it possible/the done thing to have some sort of christening gift list? And if so could we have some sort of charitable one where people donate torwards saving a rainforest in his name or similar? World vision & Oxfam only offer wedding gift lists which we can't really use for a christening but something like these would be fab!.

The christening service takes place straight after the usual sunday morning service. Afterwards we are planning a light lunch with drinks in the church hall (no room at home to accomodate 50 people!) How long do these things usually go on for? Is it OK to put on the invitations "and afterwards for refreshments until 3pm" as we have to pay for the hall by the hour?

What sort of drinks should be served? Can we get away with just wine, sherry, juice & mineral water, then tea & coffee with the cake or should it be a bigger/smaller selection? Are we expected to have some sort of champange toast? Should anyone make a speech? (Please say no:o!)
Do we have tables & chairs or do people mill around?

Are we supposed to ask people to pose for photographs like a wedding? In fact, should we have a photographer/appoint a good photographic friend as one?

Any pointers on customs/traditions/formalities & general info, esp. on keeping the cost down, will be greatly appreciated!:D

Thanks;)

Cariad_3

I've been a godparent a few times and have never received a gift nor would I have wanted one. The emphasis is on the child and you just feel it is a real honour to be asked.I think your light lunch sounds lovely and I would say its very acceptable to write on the invitations until 3 pm.I think you're getting a bit confused with a wedding- every christening I've attended has been a lovely relaxed family affair. Most people would be happy to buy their own drinks- have tea/coffee etc available but if you wish to offer alcoholic drinks that's fine too. There's no expectation for a speech but if you want to......... You don't need a photographer just take a digital camera, if you have a friend who's good at taking photo's - great. You could say on the invite- no pressies but please give to a charity of your choice if you wish. Keep things simple and just enjoy it.
Congratulations on the birth of your new baby! Smile and enjoy the day!

SUN_ANGEL

Hi Lillibet, Your Christening should all be about what you want for your baby on his special day. You don't have to buy presents for Godparents, but a nice photograph or special card for the day as a keepsake would probably be appreciated. You can ask for a donation to a charity in his honour, but these days most Godparents will ask you for ideas and then you can suggest a bank account donation or other suggestions to give them a choice. Of course there will be the odd or unusual present but it will have been brought with the best of intentions, and at the end of the day does it really matter. Presents aren't the main reason for a Christening. You can state on the invitation the time date and duration of the celebration although usually the parents don't want the day to end if they are having a good time catching up with friends. I have been to lovely Christenings for both family and friends and we have had just tea and coffee and a light sandwich and I have been to big parties. Both options have been very enjoyable. You will find that everyone and his wife will be taking pictures of you and your baby and you will want to keep these to show him when he grows up. Ask your friends for copies and make a nice album. If you have a friend that is into photography then ask for a few special pictures of you and Godparents and your baby.
Write down between you and your husband what you really want for the day and stick to it. Like weddings, family and friends can take over your ideas, usually with the best intentions, but at the end of the day you know the size of your pocket
Talk to your Vicar about Traditions, he or she will know what is expected and will be only to pleased to advise you.
Lastly enjoy this lovely day with your baby, make lots of lovely memories for him as at the end of the day the memories are priceless.

Counting_Pennies_2

For our Christening we asked two close friends to be god parents, and no there were no presents for them, the gift was being a god parent.

I think asking for specifics for Christening presents is taking a gift list too far. Either specify no boxed gifts please on the invite, or just leave it. If you get lots of money boxes, I think that is the chance you take and will be nice for little one to have later on to play with or to save, but I wouldn't do anything similar to a wedding list.

For food, I would do cocktail finger food, easy to make in advance and store in the fridge. Go to Waitrose deli bar and get mini florentines and look in their cake area they do mini bakewells etc which are fab for this type of do.

Just offer wine, sparkling something for toasts to little one and fruit juice.

Photos can be informal with the godparents and family, but that is all is needed.

Above all, just make it an informal day to have a chance to chat. Don't over dress (no hats!!!) just a pretty skirt and top will do for mummy, remember you will be doing lots of bending and probably floor work, so decency is the order of the day!!

Have fun!

across

as a godparent i have never recieved a present nor have i ever bought presents for the godparents of my children so that is not expected i would save my money if i were you.
alcohol at the venue depends on whether they will let you serve it if it is a church hall i would ask the vicar and if it ok then yes you could serve a toast and hubby do a little thankyou for coming speech that is what we did at ours as lots of people had come from afar.(i dont know about church hall rules they would all be different anyway and we hired a room at a restaurant and had buffet done there)
photographs we have always just done our own and it isnt like a wedding so dont worry about that unless you want it to be which is your personal choice there are no right or wrong!
videos some let you do it in church other vicars wont allow it we had one that would allow and one that wouldnt so we only have one of our christenings videod so ask vicar!
i got some lovely little invites with pooh bear on from m&s £5 packet but you could save money and print your own!
i always put "and afterwards at ........." on the invite but didnt put a time on you'll will find it will eventually fizzle out anyway and if you get up to go then people will move anyway!!!!
i would say get someone else to do buffet because on the day you have enough to cope with getting the baby and yourselves ready and out of the house its nice to relax and not be up at the crack of dawn making buffet!!
good luck you'll have a lovely day!

finc

Hi, I'm not aware of any tradition for giving the Godparents a gift (I'm a Catholic and don't know of other religions). I've never been to a Christening where there's been a gift list and personally I'm not keen on these. I would just spread the word that if anyone needs an idea for a present that you'd appreciate a contribution to his trust fund.

I bought my Goddaughter a memory book from this website. The lady who makes them is great and custom makes each one, this can be left for guests to write a message for your son to read when he gets older and to remember his day by.

I think it's fine to give a time that it will end by as you will always have some who will stay on and you'll be paying for the time. A light lunch or buffet will be more than adequate and a small selection of drinks will be enough. Don't go mad making food though or you'll be eating leftovers for days. We did a champagne (sparkly wine) toast for our 2 children and just thanked everyone for coming to welcome our child to the family. That was the extent of our speech but I'm sure you could add a bit if you're brave.

I wouldn't bother with a photographer unless you've got a huge budget as there will be that many people taking pics you are pretty much guaranteed to get a decent batch of good photos. We had photos of parents and child, Godparents and child, parents, Godparent and child and then with the Priest. These were in the Church. All other pics where whatever people asked for.

You can get a fab huge cake from Costco for £10 that will feed all your guests. They do a Christening design one. I'd also burn some music to CD so that you've got some carefully selected background music. You can keep this as a memento of his day as well.

Most importantly enjoy the day, don't plan too much or you won't have time to enjoy it. The day is about your child, not how much food and drink everyone can get _party_

Have a wonderful day

bargainaddict

Keep the day as simle as possible, for your own sanity. You will find yourselves getting so worried about all the formalities that the day wil become just one big stress. the whole point of the day is that your baby is being welcomed into God's family and you, hubby and God parents are promising to bring him up to know and trust God.

We have been to a few christenings and are Godparents and have only received gifts once. hubby was given a tankard and I was given a little pewter box that looked like a bible on the outside but was called a prayer box. Its about 1inch square and every time I look at it I am reminded to pray for our Godson. Presents are not that common though.

I think its world vision, I will check, but I bought our kids presents from them at Christmas like a blanket, fruit tree and mosquito net. Your guests could maybe all donate and then you buy one larger gift from their catalogue.

above all enjoy the day. Good luck.

finc

If you do decide to do a gift list this website does charity gift lists for all occasions and not just weddings. :T

bargainaddict

Thanks for that link finc. What an amazing site. I will be looking at one of the albums for a friend who has just had a baby.