Christening and alternative naming ceremonies (merged)

mike_the_bike_2

Err any questions on the religious aspect of it all?...Seems to have been slightly overlooked in the thread

Lillibet_2

mike_the_bike wrote:

Err any questions on the religious aspect of it all?...Seems to have been slightly overlooked in the thread

As I had a religious upbringing and am a regular chruch goer I am fairly au-fait with that side of things thanks;) It's just the formalities of the day that we're stuck on, as I was the last child on my side of the family for many many years I have very limited experience of the actual event rather than the meaning of the
service:cool: And yes, it is a christening for religous reasons, not just an excuse for a party! In fact, with hubbys family estrangement (don't ask) I could live without the lunch afterwards even though I am looking forward to it for our friends & my family:p

Will ask the vicar about the candle/card for the godparents but if he doens't do it then we have decided we aren't going to get them gifts but might try & get a nice photo of them with Spud on the day & send them this afterwards. I think I got a card all about what being a godparent entails when I was godmother?

Spendless, I appreciate your point about the CTF, in my family trust funds for children are the norm anyway, (The Goverment has just copied us!) But I realize that they are not the norm for most families. It is always a worry that they'll blow it on fast cars & fashion (or worse). But having seen my former sister in law raid her 3 childrens bank accounts to fuel her shopping habit the other side of the story is that many grandparents etc feel happier donating to something that only the child can touch when they are older & no-one else can get their mitts on!

Still don't think we can face making any kind of speech or toast so we are thinking we'll just make sure hubby & I circulate well & thank everyone for comming indvidually.

Thanks everyone, am sure I'll be back with more questions as things get organized, you have all been very helpful:A

jellyhead

do you have to promise to bring up the child as a christian?

jellyhead

that last post was just me being nosey by the way! mum-in-law keeps hinting about a simple service done during the church service but i think it would be hypocritical to pretend we're going to take the child to church. they are very active in church and i think they're embarassed that my husband won't allow our children to be christened. off topic, sorry.

i think you'll have a lovely day whatever happens. would the vicar make the 'speech' on your behalf?

dora37

Lillibet wrote:

Whilst we appreciate it is the thought that counts we are absoutley dreading being given a stack of tacky silver money boxes & photo frames:p. As much as we would prefer people to, we don't like to ask people to give money to his trust fund so is it possible/the done thing to have some sort of christening gift list? And if so could we have some sort of charitable one where people donate torwards saving a rainforest in his name or similar? World vision & Oxfam only offer wedding gift lists which we can't really use for a christening but something like these would be fab!.
Thanks;)

Why not add something onto the invitation - something like '

As we feel so lucky to have *spud*, we would like to share our happiness with others, so if you would like to buy a gift we would appreciate it if you chose one from *world vision or whatever*

I don't think anybody could be offended at that and it may cut down on the 'silver items' - we've had 3 baptisms over the years, so have had our fair share of silver train musical money boxes and silver birth certificate holders - none of which we have used.....obviously the thought was there though!

We have always had a toast to the baby as opposed to a speech and I think it does add a little something.

At our DS1 baptism 14 years ago we hired a community centre near where we used to live and OH put the alcohol we had bought (French Trip) in a fridge before the ceremony, but forgot to tell anyone it was in there...when everyone went home it was all still in the fridge, they must have thought us really tight :rotfl:

Spendless

Lillibet wrote:

I
Spendless, I appreciate your point about the CTF, in my family trust funds for children are the norm anyway, (The Goverment has just copied us!) But I realize that they are not the norm for most families. It is always a worry that they'll blow it on fast cars & fashion (or worse). But having seen my former sister in law raid her 3 childrens bank accounts to fuel her shopping habit the other side of the story is that many grandparents etc feel happier donating to something that only the child can touch when they are older & no-one else can get their mitts on!

In the teenagers I'm taking about it would have come under *other* uses if you catch my drift;) . Mine will probably grow into Saffy (from Ab Fab) and be horrified that I thought this. She does have an ordinary savings account with my name on so I have control. I'm sure if I had come across a parent raiding a childs account I wouldn't be happy to add to that either.

jockettuk

not everyone wants a church christening but grandparents like the idea of some sort of celebration for there grandchildren. so why not do a naming celebration if the baby young or a celebration of life etc.. my friend did this with her kids she waited till she had had all kids so it was all at once and it got her and his parents off there backs and brought all there friends and family together and was a great day..

Lillibet_2

jellyhead wrote:

do you have to promise to bring up the child as a christian?

Pretty much, yes, although you don't promise to take them to church. A Godparent is responsible for over-seeing the childs religious & spiritual upbringing. I belive that technically a christening is a religious naming ceremony held at a church & a baptsim is a ceremony to enter the child into the faith & incorporates the naming but unless you can find a chuch which still disguinshes between the 2 (ours doesn't) then you will get the part about entering & practising the faith.

bargainaddict

jellyhead wrote:

that last post was just me being nosey by the way! mum-in-law keeps hinting about a simple service done during the church service but i think it would be hypocritical to pretend we're going to take the child to church. they are very active in church and i think they're embarassed that my husband won't allow our children to be christened. off topic, sorry.

i think you'll have a lovely day whatever happens. would the vicar make the 'speech' on your behalf?

Hi Jellyhead, you have a good point. maybe you could explain to MIL that as you don't feel able to promise to take your child to Church/bring them up as Christians, then it would be difficultl for you to enter into the ceremony. When your child is older they can make their own baptismal vows. Would MIL be able to take your child to Sunday school or Church?

homersimpson_3

first of all there is no set formality as such - it depends on particular family involved. i am godparent to loads of godchildren and have never once been given a present for being such. wouldn't expect or want it- it's not my christening or day.
never gave "tacky silver money boxes & photo frames". i always decided what to buy godchildren after discussing with parents- having child is expensive so it was usually something parents needed (e.g. clothes). have also done the charitable gift giving (e.g. adopt a horse or whale etc); money boxes. the party afterwards goes on for about at least 2 hours- and wil fizzle out- people will start to leave in small groups. don't put a time on it as this will come across as insensitive. you don't need a professional photographer- good quality digital camera is enough. your list of drinks is fine but include coke and lemonade- are other children attending- what will they drink?. juice? a basic buffet is fine but don't go mad. you do need some tables and chairs- if older people attending (grandparents etc) attending they will want to sit down and to be honest after about 10 mins so would i. all church halls should have tables and chairs. no speeches are required- just mingle, smile and enjoy it and expect the child to be passed from pillar to post.