this made me chuckle...

Toffee261104

I was sat on a bus one day and this mum and her son were sat behind he...her son pointed to a very pregnant lady and said in a very loud voice 'why is her belly so big?' his mum replied 'she has a baby in her belly' the lady looked over and smiled.

he then pointed to en extremely overweight woman and said 'wow, she must have lots of babies in her belly'

The whooe bus fell silent, lets just say the fat lady never smiled at him like the pregnant lady did!

gilligansyle

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

My bro and family who live abroad had come to stay in the UK one Christmas. They stayed in a posh hotel with connecting rooms (my 3 nephews in one room, my bro and wife in the other with the door open between the two). Anyway, my youngest nephew calmly, but loudly announced to the whole hotel restaurant that he'd heard daddy fart in the night! The whole place fell silent and everyone turned and stared. Poor bro, was mortified!

:rotfl: Don't you just love the little darlings. I'm saving up all the things my DS said ready for his wedding day.

PS - at least that's all he heard or reported

Deep_In_Debt

The same trip (don't I just love my youngest nephew - he's 10 now) my bro & co were going to South Africa and needed to change their dollars for South African Rand. I suggested they went to the post office to do it and decided to go with them. The only post office we went to that would change the money was in a bit of a dodgy area. The 3 of us walked out of the post office in clearly a bit of an "iffy" area and my nephew said in a loud voice "we're ok now that we've got lots of money on us!"

Runnybabbit

Well, I must say that I havn't laughed so much in ages - so thanks for all the brilliantly, funny, entertaining stories tonight - the only problem now is trying to sleep without giggling and snorting, and my god mascara hurts when it gets in the eyes !!!,
Night, Night all
Babbit xxx

Deep_In_Debt

Night. It's been a blast.

I've got a few more where they came from...be here all night tho!

Runnybabbit

On second thoughts - just thought of another one :j

My DH and I were invited to a New Years fancy dress party and we decided to go as Andy Pandy and Looby Lou. Over Christmas DH had flu and when New Year came round I got it, so obviously not feeling very well at all, I ditched the idea of getting dressed up. Now DH is 6'2" and 14 stone, so off we go, me and Andy Pandy that is, to our local nightclub - as we walked in, the music just happened to stop and everyone turned to face the door - yep, all staring at Andy Pandy - what a stitch up, no one else was in fancy dress !!!!!! oh ha, ruddy ha - thank god I was normal !!!!!

bringmeshoes

when one of my friends was about 4 she was stood at the bus stop with her mum & dad when a black man came to the bus stop. As we live in a predominantley white town she had never seen a black person before other than on the tv, she turned round to him and said
"weren't you in Zulu"
her parents nearly died

Runnybabbit

bringmeshoes wrote: »

when one of my friends was about 4 she was stood at the bus stop with her mum & dad when a black man came to the bus stop. As we live in a predominantley white town she had never seen a black person before other than on the tv, she turned round to him and said
"weren't you in Zulu"
her parents nearly died

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Oh here we go again, the tears, screeching, I've also just spat out my drink, and now it's all over the keyboard lol xx

bringmeshoes

One time I was out and some drunken buffon was getting quite grapic and asked if i wanted to w*** him off, i told him i hadnt brought my magnifying glass and tweezres with me

Deep_In_Debt

Runnybabbit wrote: »

On second thoughts - just thought of another one :j

My DH and I were invited to a New Years fancy dress party and we decided to go as Andy Pandy and Looby Lou. Over Christmas DH had flu and when New Year came round I got it, so obviously not feeling very well at all, I ditched the idea of getting dressed up. Now DH is 6'2" and 14 stone, so off we go, me and Andy Pandy that is, to our local nightclub - as we walked in, the music just happened to stop and everyone turned to face the door - yep, all staring at Andy Pandy - what a stitch up, no one else was in fancy dress !!!!!! oh ha, ruddy ha - thank god I was normal !!!!!

Oh God I've had such a laugh tonight!

When I was younger I used to help out in a Sunday School. We gave the children a task to do which was to draw anything they liked from stories from the bible (I'm not that religious - just a phase I went thru in my teens) One little boy drew a man in a helicopter and said it was Pontius Pilate flying it!