Relationship break-up

bettiboop

Hi folks

Going through a seperation just now, had hoped it could be amicable, but it appears that things may not go this way.

Agreed to seperate on Wednesday and partner is moving out on Monday. We arent married but were engaged and lived together for 7 years, in a house which is mortgaged in my name only.

I earn more money that my partner and believe that he may attempt to get some money out of me.

In the 7 years we have been together, I have supported by partner through university (4 years). Due to the fact thet he only worked part time, I have soley paid the mortgage, council tax, gas, electricity,holidays and food costs. He paid tv license, internet, broadband and tv package - no more. Don't get me wrong, if he had paid a proportinate amount of the costs involved, I would happily (who am I kidding?!!) look to reimburse him, but he hasn't. I should also add that I have paid for most things for his daughter, however I do not wish for this to be taken into account, because I love her, and wouldnt dream of involving her in our mess.

I also have some savings, that my mum gave to me, to help with wedding costs (20,000 pounds). I am worried he may attempt to get this.

I will of course seek legal advice remy problems, just wondered if anyone on here had advice about what rights he has as my co-habitee and what he is entitled to.

Many thanks

bettiboop

pantsdr

Usually with unmarried couples (No children between you two) what ever you bring into the relationship is yours to keep. The house is the tricky thing, depending on if he helped with deposit/refurbishing etc, if not then its simple.

bettiboop

Pantsdr, thanks for that, he didn't contribute towards the deposit/legal costs re the house, and it has been me who has paid for all refurbishments within house. I can honestly say the biggest thing he has paid over the years is the tv license and the tv package/phone/internet.

Does any body know which legislation pertains to my current circumstances? i should say that I live in Scotland.

Thanks

Bettiboop

view

Hi Bettiboop. This is purely from experience, and I do not know the complete ins and outs - however, my dh's uncle shared a house and relationship for 21 years - they were never married. He was in and out of jobs and the majority of the work he did was on the house (they converted a beautiful church) to what is now an amazing house. However, when they split he received nowt. However, as they have a strong friendship and as she is a lovely person, she paid for rent for him until he got back on his feet and also gave him petrol money and food money.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that he had not a legal leg to land on when it came to any ownership on her money (she made a lot and had a great deal of savings) or on the house as he didn't contribute any money - although he contributed a hell of a lot of hard sweat and tears for many many years.

And, they live in Scotland.

Best of luck to you, good vibes sent!

GJ x

bettiboop

GJ

Thanks for that - I am really sad that our relationship has come to this, I am hopeful that we can find a resolution, however its looking unlikley as i have discovered that he has taken paperwork regarding my mortgage, and put it amongst his things that he is taking with him (well I have taken it back!!). If I hadn't of saw them amongst his things with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it. I never would have thought he would have contemplated such a thing, because he knows how supportive I have been to him and his daughter.

I guess desperate people do desperate things, eh?

Bettiboop

elona

bettiboop

I would give the £20,000 back to your mother as it had been given in anticipation of marriage.

Then it does not muddy the waters so to speak.

Debt_Free_Chick

I would do nothing - absolutely nothing. It's down to him to demonstrate that he contributed towards the value of the property (and any other assets he tries to claim a share of). He will need to go to a solicitor and the first thing the solicitor will ask him for is "proof" or "evidence".

Just make sure you have all the relevant financial records, then sit back and wait for him to make a move. Chances are, once he goes to a solicitor, he'll be put straight!

MustStopSpending

My bro went through this exact same situation and his ex screwed him over for all she could and got it. She never worked as she was at Uni but she still got half the profit they had made in the flat even though she had never paid towards it. She said she had earnt her way by cooking and cleaning!

Give your £20,000 back to your mum for sure though, better to be safe than sorry.

DKLS

Been there and done, that, cover your back at all costs, My split started amicably and went down hill very fast.

Empty any joint accounts, secure all your financial info away from him, send the 20K back to your mother, and if/when he starts ensure you have a rottweiler of a solicitor to sort him out.

SPANIEL36

i went thri the exact same thing this year.I was told that he hhad to prove he had contributed to the running of the house and the maintenacne of the property whilst living there. i'll try find the link for you that i was given

SPANIEL36

http://www.thesite.org/homelawandmoney/askthesiteqandas/housingqandas/crackingcohabitationlaw