Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

Rikki wrote: »

He is not obliged to pay the mortgage. It is up to his goodwill to continue the payments.

This is the same for the household bills and other financial commitments.

Solicitor can write up agreement and he can sign it to agree etc with different clauses etc as mine has, law may be different in Scotland

Rikki

kimlisa66 wrote: »

I was told by my solicitor it is only repayable if property or goods are secured as a result of the action the legal aid funded.

My friend has gone through a 3 year battle funded by legal aid to force his ex OH who earns about 80k a year to pay him off a percentage of the property when she kicked him out after she had an affair. He lost his business, kids, home, everything, and she has not responded to any of the solicitors letters, and refuses to be served with court papers.
He has now given up as he knows if it went before a judge, he would let her stay in the house with the kids, (fair enough) and he might get say 20k if he was lucky but would loose most of that in court fees and repaying legal aid. House is worth about £350k

He disintructed his solicitor a few months ago as he knows its futile where she is concerned and didnt want her to start using the kids against him by not letting them see him. He has not been asked to pay back a penny of the legal aid (about 7k spent) as he has not secured property or goods, because he was on job seekers when this all started.

K x

The divorce is still not final and therefore full and final settlement has not been made so it is difficult to say as to how the legal aid board will recoup this money but they will be monies owing to them at this time.

Rikki

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

Solicitor can write up agreement and he can sign it to agree etc with different clauses etc as mine has, law may be different in Scotland

Thats if you can get the absent partner to agree. Not all will or do.

Rikki

kimlisa66 wrote: »

Im pretty sure if an order was made by a Judge, he would be forced to pay.

A friend has been through the same thing, and this is what was ordered and he is definitely paying it plus ancilliary relief and child maintenance.

Yes the judge can make that order but unless that action is taken they can wiggle out of paying.

kimlisa66

Rikki wrote: »

The divorce is still not final and therefore full and final settlement has not been made so it is difficult to say as to how the legal aid board will recoup this money but they will be monies owing to them at this time.

Its not a divorce case though, they were co habiting, and nothing is happening at all, it will just sit there as she refuses to acknowledge anything to do with legal documentation. It was purely a porperty and children matter which will remain unresolved as he has disintructed his solicitor in writing and they haven't even bothered to acknowledge that....that was about 2 - 3 months ago.

K

scottishfreebiehunter

Rikki wrote: »

Thats if you can get the absent partner to agree. Not all will or do.

No for sure,but mine is agreeing to it or so he said but it will be written in black and white this week and he is going to sign it with me here and then will be handed in myself to solicitor.
Agree though not everyone will be willing to sign it mine is just racked with guilt now I think
Now his pension is another matter ,we will go there after house sorted etc

SuziQ

kimlisa66 wrote: »

Im pretty sure if an order was made by a Judge, he would be forced to pay.

A friend has been through the same thing, and this is what was ordered and he is definitely paying it plus ancilliary relief and child maintenance.

This isn't correct-not in my experience anyway! When my husband was eperated from his firsst ex,the judge ordered him to pay and he didn't as she had a man living with her-which she denied vehemently but the kids and neighbours all agreed it. He said that if she wanted to live with someone else carry on,but I'm not funding it! His solicitor at the time ordered him NOT to pay and all maintenance was dealt with by the CSA. She wanted to sell up anyway and buy a cottage with this guy,she got legal aid but had to repay when the place old.

Same with me and my first ex.I got partially funded-had to pay a certain amount each month as I was working. Once the matter was agreed I had to settle the legal aid bill as porperty was part of the legal aid case (if it was just child care issues for instance,that's different.) As it was I got a small refund as I had piad too much monthly.

The great thing about Legal aid,is that the solicitor's charges are capped,so that even when you repay the bill it is SO much more manageable!


Kizzy I wish you well with your decision to try to get him back. Just be aware that he has no access to her at the moment-when they are able to meet again will he stop flirting with you?

I really really want a happy ending for all your girls.
I peronally could never trut a guy who had cheated on my-I hate liars and that's what a cheater is. This goes abolutely againt my beliefs as a Christian (we are taught to not judge and forgive)and I am pretty ashamed of it-I should be able to forgive and trust again but having been lied to repeatedly it is not within me -yet.

Rikki

By the way please don't shoot the messenger. I'm just trying to show the other side.

I have been through this and I was left with everything to pay from the moment he packed his bag and walked out of the house.

Mind you I did divorce him for adultery. It was that or no divorce.

scottishfreebiehunter

Every case is different and now at the end of the week when all signed in black and white I will be able to start slowly moving on with life.
My oh will always be part of my life due to ds and do not want to stop him seeing him etc so will do my best for him in the future
These few months are going to be hard for us all ladies and gents but we have to be strong
I saw a very good solicitor and he asked me what I wanted not him or anyone else
So fingers crossed it will go as planned

kimlisa66

SuziQ wrote: »

This isn't correct-not in my experience anyway! When my huband was eperated from hi firt ex,the judge ordered him to pay and he didn't as she had a man living with her-which he denied vehemently but the kid and neighbour all agreed it. He aid that if he wanted to live with someone else carry on,but I'm not funding it! Hi olicicitor at the time ordered him NOT to pay and all maintenance was dealt with by the CSA. She wanted to sell up anyway and buy a cottage with thi guy,he got legal aid but had to repay when the place old.

Same with me nd my first ex.I got partially funded-had to pay a certain amount each month as I was working. Once the matter was agreed I had to settle the legal aid bill as porperty was part of the legal aid case (if it wa just child care issues for instance,that's different.) As it was I got a small refund as I had piad too much monthly.

The great thing about Legal aid,is that the solicitor's charges are capped,so that even when you repay the bill it is SO much more manageable!


Kizzy I wish you well with your decision to try to get him back. Just be aware that he has no access to her at the moment-when they are able to meet again will he stop flirting with you?

I really really want a happy ending for all your girls.
I peronally could never trut a guy who had cheated on my-I hate liars and that's what a cheater is. This goes abolutely againt my beliefs as a Christian (we are taught to not judge and forgive)and I am pretty ashamed of it-I should be able to forgive and trust again but having been lied to repeatedly it is not within me -yet.

No you are correct, he doesn't have to pay if the ex spouse is cohabiting, which she clearly was in this case.

Im my friend's case, she is not, and it went to court and an order was made for Ex to pay mortgage until youngest child is out of full time education. I know he can make an application to the court if she does start to co-habit, or if they agree to sell the house.

Of course it is far better and cheaper if the person agreeing to pay the mortgage,and indeed everything else, does so without involving solicitors but in reality I recognise this is very difficult to achieve amicably.

Kim