Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

Just posted on that other thread - who the f does she think she is...posting something like that and expecting sympathy - none at all love!!

chilli_dog

Kizzy if i had three wishes i'd give one to you. Hope you get through this ok.

kizzykizzywizzy

So did I twice - whoops:o

dellybelly_2

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Hi DB
Glad you found us, sorry you've got to be here though:o

You may find he'll realise what he's done & if you'll have him, beg to come back, as he has moved out rather quickly!
If not, it'll take a while, but in time you will realise that you are better off without him.

Thanks for the welcome folks but my goodness you all can't half chat!

Kizzy, I don't care if he does realise what he's done and begs. I'm not taking him back. TBH things hadn't been good with us for a while but he never communicated to me. He went away to a lan conference in August and met someone over there (I'm in NI by the way). He showed no respect for our marriage and our home because he brought her over here. There was a whole heap of stuff going on over 3 weeks, he'd tell me he loved me, sha??ed me but not make any changes or compromises. He didn't break all contact with her and threw his dummy out of the pram and moved out when he found out I was checking an online forum he posts on and found he had all of her contact details for her travels. Oh and he broke it off via e-mail.

There's been so much lies and deception and selfishness I just couldn't have it any more. I'd lost respect for myself in the past few weeks and since he did me a huge favour by slinging his hook, I'm finding myself again. Yes, it's hard. DS is 3 next month and has wet himself 6 times today and it's going to be difficult going forward but I'll cope. It's all been about what he wants up till now and nothing about what is good for our child or any respect for me. I had asked not to see him yesterday as he's been over every day since he moved out and he still came over (allbeit to collect his bike - but that's besides the point, his parents could have collected it for him). He has now agreed not to contact the house until next Thursday so Ds and I can get some time and space to adjust and I'm going to use the time to set up some boundaries - days/times of access, phone calls, manners entering the house (i.e. waiting to be invited in and not just walking in.)

I'm sorry to hear of all your troubles, but it seems you all have good support for one another on here. (sorry had to finish up quickly ds is going to bed in 5 mins but I'll be back later.)

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi DB I had loads of time with DFS ( which is his name now - dirty filthy scumbag ) to begin with.
I have had to stop this, although I love his company, we get on fantastically, it was giving me hope - he's still ringing moose.
I was getting upset when he left.
Also was messing the children up.
The 2 days I have seen him this week have both been upsetting, so although it's horrible being alone, it's better than being upset all the time.
You are very good to be this positive straight away, it's taken me months, but that was probably because I didn't feel we had any problems & I loved him so much you wouldn't believe it & I wanted my lovely family as it meant the world to me.

gerturdeanna

Right off to do my ironing now - that silly [EMAIL="sl@g"]sl@g[/EMAIL] on that other thread has really got my back up!! GGGGGRRRR!!
Might pop back later - byeeee!!

kizzykizzywizzy

Did my ironing earlier, took ages, why is it the ironing seems to get left by everyone, whilst all this crap is going on?
I'm not looking at that thread anymore, or I'll probably get thrown off of MSE, as that slapper will take all my anger that I have for the moose:mad:

scottishfreebiehunter

thinkwe all have delly lost respect for ourselves lately as very hard


right going to watch casualty back soonxxx

dellybelly_2

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Hi DB I had loads of time with DFS ( which is his name now - dirty filthy scumbag ) to begin with.
I have had to stop this, although I love his company, we get on fantastically, it was giving me hope - he's still ringing moose.
I was getting upset when he left.
Also was messing the children up.
The 2 days I have seen him this week have both been upsetting, so although it's horrible being alone, it's better than being upset all the time.
You are very good to be this positive straight away, it's taken me months, but that was probably because I didn't feel we had any problems & I loved him so much you wouldn't believe it & I wanted my lovely family as it meant the world to me.

love the name for your ex -OH. hmmm, wonder if I can find an abbreviation for faithless f*ckwit with his head up his ar*e :rotfl: .

By posting I didn't mean to imply that I didn't love my ex - I adored him, and would have done almost anything for him - except sacrifice my self respect. I made so many changes and compromises and he didn't really want me to make an effort - I really believe that he was hoping I would throw him out so he could go back to the moo who turned his head away from family life in favour of motorbikes and heavy metal music and freedom and tell her that he tried but I wouldn't entertain him. I bore 3 weeks of faffing about, discovering deception after deception (he really wasn't very good at hiding stuff) and unprotected scrabble - still waiting for the consequences of that one to come in! I finally caught myself on when I found myself allowing him to spend a fortune on upgrading his pc instead of fixing the shower in the house. In the end up, I just couldn't bear the pain anymore and he has turned into a complete stranger, so I guess that's made it somewhat easier for me. It took him 2 days to move out and he saw ds on Friday and Saturday. I just need some space to re-focus and he's still thinking he's entitled to know everything that's going on in this house.

his biggest mistake would be to underestimate how much I love our son and how much I want to protect him from an unstable environment and whilst I believed that we had a chance of saving our relationship I was willing to do anything, but now that I'm certain it's over, I can't waste any more time/energy/affection/effort on him. It's just who I am.

What is it about Ironing? I hate it too and would do anything to avoid it. At least now with the ex out of the house I've less cooking/cleaning but loads more washing as DS is so upset and looking for attention. I'm really going to have to focus all of my attention on him in the next few days.

chilli_dog

Like your name for him, dfs.

I could only come up with MS (moose sheppard)