Marriage over don't know where to start

dinkytwostep

Hi Chip
I think I know what you mean. When I was seperated from my ex-OH I did things and said things that were completely out of character for me. I was SO bitter.... but....I then got to the stage that I didn't like myself for behaving that way and realised that I wasn't 'me' any more...it was then that I decided that I needed to let go of the hate - and to be honest it was a great relief. SFH isn't at that stage yet. She's angry at her OH and it's this anger which is helping her get through the day. It's when anger turns to bitterness that you get the situation you're describing and I don't think SFH is anywhere near that.

DTS

robster1964

Oh Kizzy, just in from work and trying to catch up. What a despicable thing for him to say. In other words he's saying the best thing he ever did as well as leaving you, was to ruin the life of 2 innocent children, and also to present them with a role model who thinks it's ok to screw around and disrepect the people who love him. What a god damn low life.

I don't know whether or not you keep a diary of events, things that he's done and said, but as Chip said, it could be a good idea, for the future especially if he decides to show more of his true colours. As for meeting the Moose, does he expect your children to be in the company of another lying cheating, moralless individual...... As Chip said, the resident parent in these situations always seem to have the upper hand, and I for one, thank god for that...... make sure he realises that...

Gert, glad you had a fab time with Gok, and well done for the email, I think that was a good thing for you to do to get it off your chest, but to keep it calm and rational.

SFH, babe I hope you find the strength to get through this. I feel sick with shock at some of the things you have to cope with. I am so glad you guys have got this forum, and I know you sometimes say stuff you don't mean, (not sure Chip understands that;) but that is natural, and this is def the place to vent.

Gotta go guys,

Try to Sleep, and count your blessings for your children.

Robster xxx

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy why does he want to see a solicitor I thought he was saying you can have everything?

taxi73

SFH..I'm really worried about you.Please can you see your Dr.It's awful to see you so upset.It must be hard for your son to miss his dad and to see his mum so upset.Perhaps you could both see a councillor.
I understand your anger I really do(and I have been in your situation before ex cheating as well as my ex trying to kill me) so do understand your turmoil....I know it's raw with you but none of it is any good for you or your son.Please see a Dr if you are feeling so bad.

julie2710

Sorry Chip Read you're post before I turned the damn computer off. Feel really sorry for you and that thought, to be honest is the thing that makes me sad! That he is being so stupid as to throw away his family.
He maynot realise it right now as he's busy shagging someone 7 yrs my junior and 12 yrs his - expect that's all he needs to massage his ego right now. But one day he's going to wake up alone in his flat with no one around and wonder what his sons are doing and realise he'll never have that same relationship with them again. Only difference is he'll only have himself to blame!!

On that point I'm definitely hitting the sack!!
Jules x

scottishfreebiehunter

I wish there were more men like you chipxx as most of our partners have thrown all that awayx

scottishfreebiehunter

taxi73 wrote: »

SFH..I'm really worried about you.Please can you see your Dr.It's awful to see you so upset.It must be hard for your son to miss his dad and to see his mum so upset.Perhaps you could both see a councillor.
I understand your anger I really do(and I have been in your situation before ex cheating as well as my ex trying to kill me) so do understand your turmoil....I know it's raw with you but none of it is any good for you or your son.Please see a Dr if you are feeling so bad.

i was at doc other day taxi xxxx
Going to Australia soon and that will be mine and ds fun time as soon as I get in that plane there will be no talk of t w a t husbands etc just will the plane fall apart :rotfl:only kidding;)

kizzykizzywizzy

Chip, it must be absolutely awful for you, you were not at fault & yet you still lose your kids ( on a full time basis ) your ex was prepared for what happened in that she had started an affair & had mentally started to move on, so probably inbetween sh&gging around was ok looking after the kids.
We on the other hand are still in shock, can't really cope looking after ourselves, let alone our children that I think you can tell we love more than anything, whilst DFS sits in his room feeling sorry for himself as he doesn't see the kids as much, we are trying to cope with our hurt & our children's hurt too
Also like it must've made you angry when she got custody when she was a slag it's horrible that he gets all the nice times & we get all the upset, when they wake up in the night & tonight DS was sick, I cut DFS off, as was on the phone to him & needed to see to son, called him back to say why I'd cut him off, as in DS sick & as he answered the phone he said !!!!!!!!

dinkytwostep

Hi Gert

Is there any chance you could get your OH to look after the children for a night and YOU go away. Travellodge have some good room offers if you don't choose a busy weekend. Check out Holiday inn as well as a few have got a deal on whereby you can have a free day in their leisure club without needing to become a member. I was thinking if you could just get out of the house (let your OH deal with the kids for a night on his own.... maybe even get them to school???) then you would have plenty of time to think straight...plus you could chill out for a couple of hours (maybe go for a swim, sauna, jacuzzi... an hour or so in the gym.. whatever) but the idea is that you need clear thinking time which you are not getting at home at the moment. He needs to be a dad to your children not a visitor - but if you're there he won't bother as you'll do all the work.

DTS

taxi73

I agree that there should be more men like chip..he really loves his children but rest assured when his children grow up they will know that Daddy looked after them and will spend lots more time with him appreciating waht he has done for them.
On the other hand the other !!!!!! will only realise too late what they have lost as they only think about themselves.