Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

Oh the usual rubbish Kizzy about how he was unhappy and can now do as he pleases that sort of thing but he still wants to be there for me and ds:rolleyes:

gerturdeanna

I've been listening to this loads recently: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3jzSh_MLNcY
That that don't kill me, can only make me stronger!!! Wise words from the Kayne!!

dinkytwostep

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

:TPollycatxxxxxxxxxx


Cannot get a grip people have been trying hard but called him today and told him exactly how I felt and yes I know what a saddo but no point in me lying anymore so basically said when I go away will decide whether going to sell house or not as to distraught to live here

Hi SFH.... don't be daft... You're not a saddo.... You're Normal...:eek:
remember - for every good day you will get two or more
bad ones (but because you had such a great day yesterday you will feel today more keenly).

Think of how you were yesterday....you've got your benefits organised. You spoke to DS's teachers... you've achieved a lot... as Obi says YOU ROCK.:T
So - today is a downer.. but you know you'll get these.... you also know you will get over it and tomorrow may be better having got today out of the way!
You KNOW you can do it - because you did it yesterday and you'll do it again.. maybe tomorrow.. maybe the next day.. or the day after... the point is that how you feel today WON'T be how you feel everyday. :grouphug:

robster1964

Hi Guys, Just checking in and am so glad that you are doing your best to be positive, and theres more humour and fun around here.

Chip, honey just re read my post from last night. It didn't come across as I wanted and I apologise. My intention wasn't to make your input any less worthy just cos you are a guy, I guess I thought that you were having a go at Gert, and you couldn't see the whole picture, around her reasons to try again. I thought that you were maybe judging her and to me, she is doing what millions of us would do, and I admire the way she acknowledges that it ain't going to be easy and there will have to be changes on both parts. To me it doesn't signal low self esteem, it shows a brave person who has been incredibly hurt, but despite that will do as much as possible to save something she has invested a lifetime in.
Anyway Chip, please keep posting, it's fascinating getting a guys perspective, and once again girls, my thoughts are with you all the time.

Robster xxx

dinkytwostep

SFH

Cannot get a grip people have been trying hard but called him today and told him exactly how I felt and yes I know what a saddo but no point in me lying anymore so basically said when I go away will decide whether going to sell house or not as to distraught to live here[/quote]


OK. Chose a time when DS isn't around. Get a sheet of paper and draw 4columns on it (better make it a large sheet!!:D ).
Column 1: write down all the reasons you want to move
Column 2: write down all the reasons you should stay

Think about DS in this as well - he will obviously have to settle into a new school, make new friends... etc

Tomorrow - add to columns 1 + 2

Sunday: in column 3 write down what you will need to do to acheive column 1. Include finance, etc....

Next week: Column 4: Write down all the things you can change about the house /garden should you decide you can't afford to move (financially)

Pack this list in your suitcase and refer to it when you're in Australia....

....See YOU ROCK... YOU can chose whether to stay or go.. :T :T

scottishfreebiehunter

:Tcheers dinkyxxx


oh and I said to him do you still find me attractive as had put on weight due to illness etc and he said of course I do but you bug s h i t out of me:rolleyes::rotfl:feelings mutual mate:D
And he said I will always feel for you

Anyway yes feeling a little more positive today and after speaking to him I feel it is time for me to start looking forward,I know there will be hard days though need to do it for myself and ds.
Kizzy going to have youre attitude now by not phoning etc,will still see him when he comes up but that will be as care taker fixing our house:D

gerturdeanna

Go on SFH!! Be postitive - I don't think it has anything to do with looks - she looked like a druggie!! Its your ex's attitude right now - keep poistive and oh how many days to Australia!!

kizzykizzywizzy

Gert, I can tell you are younger than me!! Me with my biddy 80's music!!

Went to Docs they are writing to the life insurance company as she thinks they are being really fussy!
Then took daughter to Beavers got soaked on the way there - forgot I needed to drive & had a glass of wine lunchtime, so had to walk - doh!
Went to a friends whilst DD was there, but I just feel really unsettled tonight.
Also got soaked on the way back, so now in my dressing gown trying to warm up.
Worst thing is he's probably fine & watching TV with SIL & BIL & having lovely chats, whilst I'm here feeling like poo again. Still, I'm not going to phone it's cold turkey time for me.

gerturdeanna

He probably won't!! He'll be in the spare room, sulking!!! You've already said he doesn't talk to them much!! Don't tortour yourself with thinking what he is doing - you are in your nice warm home, settling down for a good night in front of the tele. You are the comfy one, not him!!

gerturdeanna

OMFG!! Just seen this - I can't wait for X-Factor tomorrow night now!!
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1772825696/bclid1774292513/bctid1774272025