Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Have a good one Rikki, still waiting for my friend.................going to the pub for lunch, when she gets here:rolleyes:
Basketcase it's a lovely bed too:D , memory foam mattress as well, bought just over a year ago pre lightbulb, no wonder he wants to get back in it.
Also unfortunately sofas are really comfortable too:mad:

trancebabe

nice to see you back Chip :0)

Some people can detatch from the intimacy that you speak of in your post. For some people it's a much more animalistic happening (hookers and !!!!!! stars must be able to detach to such a level to be able to do their jobs for instance)

.. and some people never get to know what it's like to have that intense feeling when they're with someone else, so they don't expect that.

I think it's a really individual thing and some people are just able to forgive an infidelity for the long term goal. Maybe those people lack self esteem (I know I did) but other's shouldn't judge for that I feel.

I don't suppose you brought any chocs back with you did you ?

gettingbetter

basketcase wrote: »

Sorry to disagree gettingbetter...

He's made his bed, so now he's not ALLOWED to lie in it!!:rotfl:

will have to think about this one
am bit slow today :rotfl:
kas xx

basketcase

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

As for the babysitting, I didn't think about the children being confused, that is a very valid point, the point made before was that he may think I'm still available (which is not a problem, because he doesn't want me ! ) - so I will probably say not to stay.

Have to say, I was a bit bothered that it might confuse the children. Don't know about others, but my point about him thinking you'd be erm... open to offers:rolleyes: ... was that it was massaging his ego. He has TWO women mad for him etc.

He doesn't have to want to do anything about it. In fact, if he doesn't he can tell himself that HE''S being faithful to The Moose - you're the one that's gagging for it, despite everything! (Sorry to be crude). He's moved on and he can "help you out with things because he pities you, poor thing, you can't accept it's over" when he's in a good mood and slag you off because "you just can't accept the way things are" when he isn't.

You can be friendly for the kids' sake, but never FRIENDS IYSWIM.

basketcase

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Have a good one Rikki, still waiting for my friend.................going to the pub for lunch, when she gets here:rolleyes:
Basketcase it's a lovely bed too:D , memory foam mattress as well, bought just over a year ago pre lightbulb, no wonder he wants to get back in it.
Also unfortunately sofas are really comfortable too:mad:

:D

furball

Glad your'e back chip, I may need to borrow your tin hat, Gert i am a bit worried that [EMAIL="sl@gs"]sl@gs[/EMAIL] ex said she has changed her number. Call me paranoid and i know you will be cross with me for thinking this but won't it make it easier for your DH to put her number in his phone under a different name ,as you won't recognise her new number. Just being cautious and worrying for you.
Ducks and hides behind settee.

gerturdeanna

Not at all. I checked and wrote down all his numbers from his phone and I will be checking them all again and if there are new ones..woe betide!!
Neither of us were perfect before with the relationship and the relationship will not be perfect second time around but it will be better. Whether its better for ever or a few years or whatever, I least then I will know I tried.
OH didn't even know that she had changed her number untill I told him, he hasn't spoken to her since Monday and doesn't want to speak to her. He has been confused etc since there was attention from another party, and now he isn't. He has made his decision to be with me, but more importantly, I have made the decision to try and change things for the better with him. I don't see this as being weak or having no self-esteem. It was a hard decision to make, one that I thought long and hard about. YES, I have been hurt, but I will never let it happen to me again. I'm doing what I think is best for me and my family.

furball

I don't think you are weak or have no self esteem, i think you are fighting for what you love and want. It takes guts to decide to do what you want and have to face everyone, its much easier to listen to others and walk away, but you are being true to yourself and doing whats best for the children as well. I think you are a gutsy strong woman and wish you all the happiness in the world. Hugs xx

gerturdeanna

Thank you Furball!! I'm gad somebody seems to understand that I'm not taking this whole situation lightly!!

Pollycat

Gert
I can't now remember the circumstances of what your OH did, but it sounds to me that he was maybe flattered by a bit of attention that he wasn't getting at home (understandably with 2 young children) or perhaps he just thought he wasn't getting the attention. Someone came along who turned his head, albeit only for a while.

It sounds like he's been slapped in the face with a big dollop of reality which has brought him to his senses with the understanding of what he's done and what he stands to lose.

I think you stand a better chance than most of making a go of this partly because of the contrition on your OH's part and his wish not to have anything to do with this person ever again.
If you'd persuaded him to stay against his inclinations, then I don't really think it would work out between you.

Be true to yourself.
It YOU who has to live your life, not the many people who have contributed to this thread, however valuable their contribution.