Marriage over don't know where to start

Alex25

I've been a lurker too, but felt it time to comment, as this site needs people like you Kizzy, likewise the others of you going through this nightmare. You and the other strong women on this thread, and mum of twins too, offer more advice and help than you'll ever know, and are what this site is all about.

Like the majority of people on here I was hoping that you'd come back from your holiday as a couple, having sorted your problems. Unfortunately life's not like that, and is testing how strong you can be, and by god that's strong!

Your ex telling you that you're children will turn against you when they get older is a very (low) cheap shot. Speaking from experience this is not the case, and very much the contrary, I can assure you that. Jealousy is not a nice emotion and he can't handle it, and if he's anything like my dad he'll be the one with regrets in years to come.

Words fail me how you've coped with this, but you WILL get through it, and we're with you all the way!

Sleep well
Alex

julie2710

:T

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

:TI agree Jules let her live in fear wondering when you are going to appear and POW:T:rotfl::rotfl:
You need to keep safe and healthy for baby but one day there time will come:D

Oh and 40 come on it aint that bad I am nexy year scary thought lol

I was planning maybe christmas day after dinner - my two boys should be having a nice nap after an exciting morning, she may be sat round happily with her family and I could drop in a picture of the family she helped destroy!?:D I'm sure her parents would be proud of her!:j :T

tesuhoha

kizzy

you have obviously been having a very black day. I amongst others said to you that we did not think the A T weekend a good idea and this was what we feared that it would bring you crashing down again. If you had kept your distance you would be on a more even keel now. However the damage is done. Have you ever stopped to think though what sort of a person you are getting worked up about? To tell you that he doesn't love you on your birthday makes him a crass insensitive oaf. He has treated you and your children cruelly. How can you love someone who is emotionally blackmailing your children?
You keep wanting to ring him but be careful because your actions are almost becoming like a stalker. This will cause you an enormous loss of self respect and will make him run like the wind. The only chance you have of him chasing you is by being aloof, remote, curt and I don't think that's a very strong chance. He is taken with this other woman for whatever strange reason and has made it very clear to you. You say that you can't live without him but you're going to have to. Your children are relying on you and love you. Make a strong family unit with the three of you. You may miss adult company but you can develop a social life. Somehow, you have to start disliking him and not wanting him around and maybe you should start by thinking that he's not such a great person. We are all reading about him and thinking he's a weak and despicable character. I know you had a long marriage but he wants to end it and there is nothing you can do but become strong. I can imagine that it must be so so so difficult but what choice do you have but to stand on your own two feet?

tesuhoha

ps

Instead of respectfully calling him Ex, maybe it would be an idea to call him (on here and possibly when talking to friends) a name which sums him up (like you have done with moose). This will remind you of what he is really like instead of having him on a pedestal as Mr Wonderful. Sorry, I'm not trying to be sarcastic, or if I am, only about him. How about something like toady or weasel or ferret? Or dog's breath or beergut or cheeseyfeet? Would Smeagal or Gollum suit him? How about Restless Willy? Or Moosegrinder? You could pick on an unsavoury aspect of him to give him a nickname which will also help satisfy your anger. Maybe some of the others have suggestions of a suitable name.

chevalier

jules love the idea of the picture on xmas day ref the other woman. that would be ace, because it would cause maximum embarassment to her, AND a shock because she would think after so long that she had gotten away with it.

Kizzy the others have said it all. BUT I would also say that it is NOT sign of failure to get help off the DR or Relate (even if he won't go too), to work through this relationship death you have had. If your OH had died would you have expected yourself to be back on track in only 6 weeks? No? Well this relationship death is nearly as bad, so cut yourself some slack lady. Get some support in the real world as well as on here, ie professional help.

would also suggest that for any of the ladies that are going through this at the moment.

And pamril really hope that it was all a misunderstanding. But if you can think this is possible, then maybe you need to talk about issues you have in the marriage anyway?

best of luck
chev

kizzykizzywizzy

Morning Folks
Jules, what a mess, I just feel so much for you honey, please take care of yourself.
Haven't heard from Pam, hope all is well with her.
I won't be contacting dfs ( not the furniture shop!! - new name for EX dirty filthy scumbag ) will go to the docs on friday with kids & if DD is late for Beavers, it can't be helped.
Just going to get the kids up & ready for school - didn't sleep too badly, but was dreaming again:rolleyes: ( nightmares of course )
Have a good day, don't worry about me, I'll be absolutely fine, I just need time & distance.
Got lots of housework to keep me busy so won't be dwelling on things today

scottishfreebiehunter

Woke up and thought for few secs he was still here,dear oh dear hopefully these dreams/thoughts will pass:rolleyes:

I need to get washing sorted as shocking,garden shocking(been to much rain) actually will take me a few weeks to do everything as totally neglected all except ds,and counting the days until I go away.

anyway gala free bingo again ladys and gents worth a flutter

mumoftwins

Morning Kizzy, SFH and everyone else who needs a hug!

I hope today will be a better day for you and that you will start to feel more positive about things.

I came back from holiday 10 days ago and have been so busy that I haven't caught up with the thread properly. It looks like I need to spend a good hour or so reading which I promise I will do and then post again.

But for now, I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and remember - take it slowly, one day at a time.

Love MOT xx

gerturdeanna

I actually slept quite well - and I didn't have a drink!! hehe!!! Come on me!!
We've been up since 7am and the kids wanted to call him straight away but we still haven't. Let him sweat for a while....he's round this pm anyway to see the kiddies. Dd's teacher is round at 9am for a home visit, then Income Support are coming round between 9:30 and 12:30, and then dd's teacher is round at 1:40 for his home visit. Busy morning!!
Went to STI clinic yesterday and I've a huge bruise on my arm where they took blood!! If I haven't heard anything within 3 weeks then I'm clear. Better had be for his sake!!! If I'm not, he won't have one anymore to infect anybody!!!
Hope everyone has good days - either way, we are here for you!!
Pamril - let us know what happened.
Jules - keep strong
Kizzy and SFH - We know we can do it!! Come on!! and SFH - If you win on Gala Bingo - don't forget who your mates are!! hehe

scottishfreebiehunter

Had my chlamydia swabs results yesterday and all clear thankfully so at least that something.
I am going for euro millions tomorrow night and do not mind sharing that jackpot:rotfl:
Hope all goes well for you today Gert,I have to go again to that god damn council tax place with a letter saying when he left,who put money in my bank,why it is there etc and is it regular a damn disgrace :mad::mad:

Kizzy hope you are feeling slightly better todayxxxxxxxx

Jules oh yes we will get our day for sure and kassy if you are reading hope you are well to,and anyone else going through this rubbish.

I am cutting down to two bottles of red a week,since Sunday had one in total and one left to go lol