Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

gerturdeanna wrote: »

His boss is our dd's godfather and is a friend as well as his boss, but yes I can see where you are coming from. Oh well, if he doesn't sort it out, he doesn't see the kids...end of!!

Have told my oh that also,he doesnt get his act together then no more seeing ds until he does.
When I told him this got a wimpy reply:rolleyes:

Chip_Hazard

Maybe its time for me to leave this thread then because I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable being here now.

These comments from GA and SFH are worrying me. What your respective OH's are doing is pathetic, immoral and bringing things to a point neither of you want to be, but banning your OH's from seeing their kids is a step too far and is illegal. As their other parent, he is entitled to see his children ( and they are his too as well as yours ) and if you go down the route of telling him that he cannot see them, you are poking a wasp's nest IMO. Not only that, any court action that may or may not follow will look dimly on your actions too.

If my ex had told me that I wouldn't see the kids, I'd have fired up big time. As it was, she threatened it two or three times because I was "seeing too much of the twins" so I just played it calm, spoke with my solicitor and got everything put in writing.

You mustn't tell him he can't see them, you're sinking to his level and below!

kizzykizzywizzy

Sorry girlies have to agree with Chip, yes they are gits, but who are you hurting?
The kids will miss thier Dad & if you were as dumb ( not saying you ever would be ) to cheat, how would you feel to not be able to see your children?
Please don't use your children to get back at the EX's

space_rider

I`m agreeing with Chip too. I would never ever have stopped my daughters from seeing their Dad. It was awful for me when I didn`t have them for the 3 days that they spent with him but at least I knew how bad it was for him for the 4 days he didn`t have them.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hi ladies,

I haven't been around much on this thread lately, I just wanted to say hi, and hope you are all doing ok. I will have more time later so will catch up properly then

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Buffy :hello: just trying to get through to child benefit!!!:mad: need cben number for one of the forms, can't get through

Pollycat

I'm sure (well I hope) that Gert and SFH didn't really mean it when they both said about stopping their OH from seeing the kids.

They both KNOW that this is wrong and unfair (to the kids) and will cause even more trouble.
I'm assuming here that there is no real reason to stop their OH from seeing the kids (such as they feel the kids wouldn't be safe etc), these ladies are just hurting and hitting out - and that's very understandable given the circumstances.

kizzykizzywizzy

Agree Pollycat, we all say things we don't really mean when we are hurting!
I'm sure the girlies won't really do this.
They are above that & wonderful mums
Got through at last to C Ben, they will send me my cben number through the post, not allowed to tell me on the phone!
Feeling pretty bluugh today, hopefully I will feel better after seeing my friends later.
I stupidly started reading emails that ex had sent me & have got myself upset.
Just have to remember how horrible he was yesterday & that will get me through

Rikki

space_rider wrote: »

I`m agreeing with Chip too. I would never ever have stopped my daughters from seeing their Dad. It was awful for me when I didn`t have them for the 3 days that they spent with him but at least I knew how bad it was for him for the 4 days he didn`t have them.

I think one of the worse times emotionally is when the ex and his new women take the children away for a holiday and there is nothing you can do.

earthgirl

I have just spent many hours reading your posts, and my heart goes out to all of you who have obviously been through so much pain.

I have been married to my OH for 3 years and we have no kids. Things have not been great for a while, married to a workaholic! I have started getting attention from another man and I am ashamed to say I have not discouraged it (he knows I'm married).

I haven't done anything - not even touched or kissed him - but the thought is there. I just wanted to say that I read how you all felt when marriages broke up and I have decided that I couldn't cause that much pain to someone else, and even though my hubby and I might not manage to sort things out, having an affair IS NOT the answer.

A bit stuck for ideas as to what to do to make him interested in me again - guess it takes time. I have tried to talk to him this week and it doesn't seem to have improved, but I'm going to give him time and take my marriage vows seriously.

Just thought you might like to know that reading how you felt made me face up to what was really going on and has made me a less selfish person. Thank you all so much!