Marriage over don't know where to start

Fidget21

Night gert!

Kizzy, don't want to sound harsh, but part of this is that the kids are going to have to see dad only on certain days, not whenever they ask. Otherwise you will always be at his manipulation via the kids.

ekk_3

Hi Kizzy, hope you are ok.

Not sure who is the bigger kn*b jockey ,him or the moose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aurora_emma

omg - I started reading this thread at 7am this morning and have just finished now, I feel like I know you all so well..

I am so sorry there are so many people going through a bad time or have had to put up with such crap men

I know so many of the emotions you are going through - my oh had an affair a couple of years ago - we did the counscelling thing, things were fine for a while, then I can see that he just finds it all too hard living in a family environment and other !!!!!!. Some other things happened this year, which brought things to a crisis and I made him move out in March. It has been the worst year ever - I know I wouldn't have got to this point without my lovely friends, workmates, counscellor person and family, but I do see a tiny glimmer. My ex does that whole running hot and cold thing too KWW - one day I am the most wonderful, beautiful woman ever, the next I apparently annoy him and he wishes he lived alone... well now he has his wish (the person he had an affair with was 15 years older than him and I.. I confronted her over the telephone and she just laughed and thought it was very funny that I hadn't known and it had gone on for so long:mad: I told him she sounded like a granny though.. teehee.. )

Ways to look to the future - like you other lovely ladies I am spending far more time and attention on my children (age 17, 13 and 6 - the 6 year old has SN), I decorated my bedroom and the living room, letting the children help me choose colours.. obviously he said he hated it. I am filling my evenings by doing competitions (this site is so great! ) and watching things on tv that he hates. He is having the boys (younger 2) loads and we are just about coping, although I am better when I don't talk to him..

All we can all do is little steps, look out for each other and learn from this experience I suppose... I think it is just teaching me that I never want to be in a full time relationship ever again though...

Love to you all - I feel like I know you so well now. Chins up all round xx:beer:

robster1964

Emandrich, lol, you made me giggle with the granny quote!! Sorry you have been through this god damn awful heartache aswell, but you have obviously still got your sense of humour. Good on you, babe....

I am going to bed now with a heavy heart. Thinking of you all going through this emotional hell. I know the nights are the worst, but like emandrich said, take little steps, get as much help emotionally to cope as you can, cos ultimately you will survive and come out stronger and in control.

Emandrich, please don't give up on long term relationships. What's the alternative, one night stands? I don't think so....... lady!

Relationships are what make life worth living. It's the natural order, just cos there are a few bad apples, try not to let it shape the rest of your future.

There are wonderful men out there, just waiting for wonderful women like you guys...

Good Night, God Bless and I still stick by what I said about Facebook Kizzy, it's a great feel good environment and I bet a million people on here are already on it. (There goes me exaggerating again!) Lol...

Robster xx

tesuhoha

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I think I'll go & watch TV for a bit, might be back later, bit bored talking about him!
Good news is I've been invited to BBQ on monday, can take the kids, hope the weather is Ok also have some friend coming Monday night husbands ex work mate & his wife, so it looks like will have to see him Sunday now, as Tuesday is quite a way off & both kids keep asking for him.
Kizzy's Rule Number One = Kids are Number one!

Kizzy, this is your chance to get some sweet revenge. Invite the ex workmate and his wife but not OH. Instead fill them in on all the evil things he has done. If this doesn't feel right remember that you are not a family anymore and it will feel weird and wrong to try to create a happy family occasion. He has ended your family life and has every intention of setting up home with the other woman. Believe me if he gets the chance you won't be invited to their family barbecues. The people youve invited will probably think it is strange as well, as you have split up. Do you really want this man in your house, this man who has betrayed you, lied to you, emotionally blackmailed you, emotionally blackmailed your kids, used your kids and after years of marriage prefers the company of another woman to you.? He didn't even care about breaking your heart on your birthday.

You need to start a separate life and inviting him to the barbie is not doing this. It wont happen unless you make a stand because occasions like this will come up time and again. You will not be able to be cold and distant towards him if you invite him to a social occasion. You will be feeding him and waiting on him. Is he doing the kids any good at the moment or is he making them anxious and whiny? They may need space from him too. They don't know what's best for them and need to be protected. After all they will have to adjust to a life of him being with the other woman and they may have to cope with products of that union (other children). It will be kinder to them in the long run to introduce restricted timed visits once or twice a week. They will stop asking for him after a while. Remember he has betrayed them too and he has not treated them well by bringing out the dirty washing in front of them.

Does anyone else agree that he should not be invited to the barbecue? I wouldnt invite him; I'd give him a slap round the chops and a boot up the backside to help him on his way.

gerturdeanna

Re the BBQ - I'd chop something off and cook it - but defo wouldn't eat it!!

Slept well, I logged off and turned the computer off when I last posted and went straight to bed so my alcohol units stayed low(er) yesterday!! Dreamt about non-related things, although I did wake up at 6am, heart pounding cos in my dream, I was pregnant, alone and everyone(celebs - for some reason - not that I know any!!) was laughing at me! Pretty sure it means something normal though -hmmm, will check it out!

To dream that you are alone, indicates feelings of rejection. You may be feeling that no one understand you.
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.
Well that sort of makes sense?!?!?

kizzykizzywizzy

Morning all - I have weird dreams too Gert & people are laughing at me!!! Must mean something.
As for BBQ that's B hol Monday & he's not coming, I haven't invited him, it's at a friends house.
The friends that are coming around monday invited themselves really, want to see I'm ok I think, the guy he worked with & him were really close - used to drive together & he knows that we had a happy family & marriage, he still used to come around & see us all the time up until end of last year but husband stopped contacting him when all this started up, he thought he wasn't speaking to him anymore!
They are def in the pro Kizzy camp, they can't believe what he's done as it is SO unlike him. He won't be here to see them either, I think if the friend did see him, he might not have many facial features left!!
Not seeing him today, he's going to ring me to see about tomorrow, which I'll say yes to.

kizzykizzywizzy

To dream of people laughing about you - you feel humiliated & hurt apparently - so that's about right

gerturdeanna

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

To dream of people laughing about you - you feel humiliated & hurt apparently - so that's about right

Oh well

kizzykizzywizzy

What are you up to today gert?

It's nice here, I mght take the kids crabbing, as if I do see husband tomorrow, will probably end up going to see kites & to the penny arcade.