Single and in debt.

Buffythedebtslayer

I 've been thinking about the high standards etc. I really don't know. Mostly I day dream about having a boyfriend etc but in reality I know I always bottle it, went on plenty of fish and felt so uncomfortable and in the real world in a pub I would just be rude any guy that spoke to me.

eco

it's not easy on the internet tho is it? how do you make yourself sound like the funniest, friendliest person out there when you haven't a clue who your talking to?

Ossireo

I'm still going to say to try okcupid.com instead of fish, I might be biased though but found it to be a lot more easier to look through people and see likes and dislikes.

My Scot was actually my top match score .. how creepy is that! Think it worked out as 79% Match / 74% Friend / 1% Enemy :cool: Caught my eye as well that he is a big fan of my favourite author as well so we had a good starting point for a chat as I asked him what Discworld character he was :rotfl:

marleyboy

eco wrote: »

it's not easy on the internet tho is it? how do you make yourself sound like the funniest, friendliest person out there when you haven't a clue who your talking to?

I tend to find it easier to be myself on the internet, and get suprised that people out there actually find me a decent chap, I dont come on with the intention of sounding the funniest or friendliest person there is...I just be myself, open and honest, im either accepted or im not, its an internet, so im in effect a hidden face.

Still it doesnt make me any less lonely in my dwelling, I know I cant go out and do the "chat up" routine, im just no good at that kind of thing. But in saying this, as lonely as it gets, I still feel im not alone in loneliness, added to the fact we have all made friends on this thread, so not as lonely being a hidden face, within a group of hidden faces.

It bothers me that there are some of you thinking "well no rows" or "when will he or she dump me", because that cant be a healthy way to start a relationship.

I want a companion, not for arguments, nor for worrying how long the relationship is going to last. Id assume if the partner is a perfect match made in heaven, there would be minimum of rows, and no threat of worrying when its all gonna end.

Loneliness is like a downhill struggle, the more lonely one feels, the less chance one has of finding company. Indeed as most have suggested, it gets to the point where some prefer it being that way.

I dont, I fear that in this state, I may grow old, die in some grotty council estate, and not being discovered. We all know this goes on far too frequently than it should.

eco

as the saying goes there's plenty more fish in the sea, you just have to get out there, my brother like discworld i've never read any of the books and i think i'm missing out

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I 've been thinking about the high standards etc. I really don't know. Mostly I day dream about having a boyfriend etc but in reality I know I always bottle it, went on plenty of fish and felt so uncomfortable and in the real world in a pub I would just be rude any guy that spoke to me.

I ALWAYS do this. I always, always bottle it. And if a man speaks to me in a pub I always turn into a nervous wreck or am rude. I wish I could stop being like this, wish I had the confidence to go and meet people I meet on the internet, but bottling it could be my username I do it so often. I daydream about having a boyfriend, but more about just having one than meeting one, if that makes sense, because I cannot see how I will ever meet one. Read all the books, know all the tips, just can't do it. Am sick of being so rubbish at this.

Maz6

Hi Guys,

I've been lurking on this thread for ages but just thought I would let you know you've inspired me to register on plenty of fish.

I was complaining about not meeting people but not doing anything about it so hopefully I get some fun nights out from this at the very least!

eco

my older sister is really shy and i used to say to her it doesn't matter if you talk a load of rubbish cos everyones had a drink in the pub no ones going to be listening properly anyway, but were all going to be stuck in the same boat if we don't get over the nerves and get out and just relax a bit and stop caring what people think, thats my problem as my mum kept telling me, and she was right

sarahb123_3

eco wrote: »

i'm not sure it's our expectations that are too high, but the once hurt twice shy does apply, but your right about the overspending to compensate

I overspend to compensate, which is how I got in this mess. I think, right, if I can't have the husband and the children I can have shoes and chocolate instead. Can't leave the house without coming back with some little treat. Plus it is obviously more expensive to live alone than in a couple, so am having to manage all bills by myself, and having so little spare money makes me panic, then I go and buy things to make me feel better.

I always have in the back of my mind that a nice man will come along and save me, and that I will spend less because I will be happier. It is so hard to stop behaving like this!

marleyboy

I still havent the confidence for plentyofish, or likewise sites, I tend to think a site thats dedicated to finding other partners, would be full of odd bods, I am probably totally wrong about it, and its probably my downfall, I just dont think id "fit in" in those kind of places.